178 Breaking Free from Suffering: John Gray's Insights on Spiritual Awakening

[00:00:00] ck: Welcome to Noble Warrior. My name is CK Lin. This is where I interview entrepreneurs, practitioners about how they master their mind and body to pursue a life of greater purpose, joy, and success. In today's episode, we have the pleasure of having John Gray, the author of Beyond Mars and Venus for the second time.

Thank you so much for coming back to Noble Warrior.

[00:00:23] John Gray: I'm very happy to be back, right back. Hey, I just remembered, uh, we'll be talking about Beyond Mars and Venus, but I also have another book. I don't know if you've seen it. It's called Conscious Men. Have you seen that book? I haven't yet. Oh, you'll love it.

You'll love it. It's very much up your line. It'd be Conscious Warrior. We call it that, but it's Conscious Men.

[00:00:39] ck: Amazing. Well, I want to let you know that, uh, my conversation with you last time is one of the most forwarded podcasts by my audience.

[00:00:48] John Gray: Oh,

[00:00:48] ck: great. Great. You know, you're a master in your craft. Um, I wanted to speak about, um, spiritual development today.

I know last time we spent a lot of time talking about biohacking and [00:01:00] different energies and so forth. Yeah. We'll definitely talk about your book, Conscious Man, for sure. But giving your time as a monk for five years with, um, I forgot your teacher's name, Maharishi. That's right. Yeah. Nine years, nine years.

That's right. And I want to ask you about spiritual development. So specifically, um, with your time with him, how has it influenced your understanding of spirituality and also spiritual?

[00:01:28] John Gray: You know, when I, my time with him was introducing me to a lot of the Eastern ideas. Uh, which, and then I continued my study with, uh, beyond the Eastern ideas to the Chinese Eastern ideas.

You know, it's hard to think of China as East because it's west of where I am. But the, uh, Asian, uh, Qigong became a big part of my life. An early part of my life, I did karate. I was in front of karate magazines. That was really a, it was a novelty cause I'm not a really tall person. So as a little, little kid, I could do all the [00:02:00] gymnastics of a karate guy.

I've been doing yoga since I was three years old. So that was the thing our family did together. So I was really introduced to these spiritual concepts. My mother had an esoteric bookstore. and of all the different esoteric types of traditions. So I kind of grew up in that environment. Uh, not that she would teach that to me, but by her presence, I absorbed a lot.

And, you know, one of the things that I, I got from my mother, which, um, was you always have what you need. And if you think you don't, you're looking in the wrong direction. It's such a profound thought for me. People always ask me what was The big thing that I got and, uh, yeah, my dad traveled a lot. So I didn't have a lot of dad time.

He was a good dad, but he, you know, he traveled in his business. So my mother put me in, put me with, uh, uh, sort of manly men to work for them, you know, worked in a restaurant, uh, had a paper route, uh, had my own little entrepreneur business that she was very supportive of all that. And she wanted me to just experience [00:03:00] masculine men, uh, just because I just had a bunch of brothers, older brothers who weren't that functional.

So she wanted me to be around people who are actually making money or working hard and so forth. And it was really important. And then, uh, you know, I was the fifth boy. Sometimes, at least what other people are saying, the fifth, fifth child as often if there's a gay child, would be the fifth. And for me, I was definitely more connected to my female side as a child.

You know, my mother had four, boy, four, four boys, and I'm number five. I'm sure she was wanting to have a little girl, you know? So I came out as, uh, very much in touch with my feelings, and I'm very generous, very loving, very empathetic. Uh, but those are not necessarily qualities that strengthen your masculinity.

So I was very fortunate to have the wisdom to become a celibate monk. There's nothing more powerful to build masculinity than discipline. And celibacy is one form of discipline. [00:04:00] It was magnificent. But you have to take that energy and put it into some practice. You know, for me it was spiritual practice, a discipline that I followed.

To where then I got my enlightenment after nine years. I didn't really feel drawn to a teacher anymore. I wanted to find the inner teacher, but again, over and over and over, it's so easy for me, but I think for everybody in our generation of this new consciousness, uh, I mean, I'm much older, but we're in a world now where men have easy access to their female side, and just to know, whenever you do

what you like, you're on your female side,

when you

do what you have to do, I

set a goal every day.

What do I have to do to achieve that goal that organizes the brain to produce manly masculine energy? That's a very important. So so meditation, the quiet meditation, the mantra meditation, I mean, what that did for me was learn me to look within. And I remember after three years of very [00:05:00] regular practice, many, many hours a day, the first experience I had with that was that was very profound was my mind has found its resting place.

That's the way I described it. I was just a flow. That's the flow state. My mind has found its resting place. Then I continued on, lots of hours of meditation and, and, and being very strict. I would do lots of fasting, sometimes go a month without talking. Uh, No sex, no masturbation, any of that stuff. It allowed me to meditate longer, you know, just like in sex, you want to go forever.

Well, you don't. Well, in meditation, you can, if you're not releasing the semen, it grows in your body. Uh, now I'm in the fortunate situation where I, where I mastered the. Art of tantric lovemaking, Taoist lovemaking, where I don't ejaculate when I have sex. So the out, when you, you know, if you, if you discipline yourself to do this, there's an art to doing it, you know, like anything is a, you have to learn the process.

And, but what [00:06:00] happens is you end up being able to be multi orgasmic as a man, and it keeps your partner in the mood to have sex once or twice a day. I see it's our, it's our sexual prowess, so to speak, these, the sex juices that are contained with us. It turns a woman on biologically, it's my testosterone stays high 50 percent higher than when I was a young man all the time, it will double like in giving this talk.

But when I'm just at the house, whatever, it's the polarity of when a man is more masculine and a woman is more feminine. And if you happen to be more masculine than her, it will make her more feminine. But if she's more masculine than you, having sex with her will make you more feminine. One of the symptoms of that will be premature ejaculation or not, or the inability to ejaculate, one or the other.

What you want is the ability to ejaculate, but not ejaculate, but to turn your, your chi energy into, uh, your, your sex energy and to the chi energy, which is bringing out the love. So instead of having sex for pleasure, you're [00:07:00] having sex to feel more, which is estrogen, but you're feeling more love and service to the woman, providing her with her fulfillment.

I don't know. I just thought we'd start with that and you take it. No, I,

[00:07:10] ck: I, I love that. So spirituality is such a big word, but you know, generalized term and it's up to interpretations. But what I heard you said earlier is finding your inner teacher. Is that how you would define spirituality? How would you define spirituality?

[00:07:26] John Gray: Oh, well, there are many definitions of spirituality, but ultimately, a lot of people would agree that when you're feeling love, it's a very spiritual thing. I have a soul. When I teach in China, I will teach, I'll talk about, you know, soul mate, which is you connect with the spirit of your partner and feel your oneness with them.

There's a, uh, a soul power. Which is the power to manifest and you, you manifest what you want when your desires are coming from your higher self, your other self. So the most spiritual place is to [00:08:00] experience the part of you that's not contained in this body. Some people would describe it as we're just souls, non physical reality, a being.

Like a wave in the ocean of God, you know, this big ocean and we're all unique way. Nobody's like us. We all have our destiny. We all have a purpose. We all have a potential. We don't all realize that potential. Uh, that's free will, but all of our, whenever things bring us fulfillment, not necessarily pleasure, but fulfillment, it's when we're aligning ourself with our destiny, our destiny is not.

That it definitely will happen. But if you're a oak, if you're an oak seed to make an oak tree, your destiny is to make an oak tree. Your destiny is not to be an apple tree. It's not to be a flower, whatever, all of a unique fingerprint, a unique destiny. And it's like a blueprint that we come into this world with.

And when we align ourselves with that blueprint, then we're able to manifest that whole destiny. If. We, uh, deviate [00:09:00] from that leap from that blueprint. This is spiritual knowledge. When we deviate from it, we suffer. So all suffering is when we deviate from. this destiny that we all have. And so the whole thing is through self correction and, uh, and, and Christianity is a big word, which is called, um, repent.

Okay. So repent means I recognize I make a mistake and now I'm going to not do that again. That's it. It's just, you have to repent all, all spiritual growth, which is more connection to your destiny, aligning with your soul, your spirit, which what am I here for? Okay, and, and knowing that I'm not alone, okay, I have helpers in the unseen world, and I also have helpers in this world, and they're all, you know, the whole universe is here to help us find our way.

And we only can know we're like blind. It's it's we put on blinders and we find our way by what feels fulfilling and good and life supporting [00:10:00] and whenever we're Not in aligned with that destiny we suffer So all you're suffering all of our suffering is to wake up and go because nobody wants to suffer, right?

So we have to figure out why am I suffering? So this is what's called the four noble truths from buddha, which is he says everybody's suffering Yeah It's terrible. So the first thing is to become aware that you're suffering, because if you don't know you're aware you're suffering, you can't correct it.

So if you just taking drugs and masturbating and doing things to avoid feeling you're suffering or watching TV or playing games, not that I don't watch TV sometimes, whatever, but we have ways to avoiding what we feel inside. So the first level of enlightenment of spiritual growth is the reckoning, according to Buddha, was the recognition that I'm suffering.

Okay. And this is kind of where everybody is today. Everybody's always talking about their feelings. Okay. So that's how you know, you're suffering. You can feel it. All right. So that's the first thing is I'm suffering that motivates you to find out why am I suffering [00:11:00] now? That's the second level of enlightenment, our spiritual connection, which is okay.

Why am I suffering? It's not you. That's causing my suffering. It's me. That's causing my suffering. It's my thinking. That's causing my suffering. The most enlightening thing I ever did. Which was to really propel my success was to be married because when you're married Sure, I found myself. Okay, but I found myself I found my way out of suffering by through meditation, which is simply to bypass all of the Emotional needs and whatever and just through a practice of meditation go to my higher self connect with that But then I wanted to All I wanted to do then is bring that light and love into the world.

And if you're in a marriage or relationship, boy, it's accelerated because your partner has the ability to push all your buttons, push your button. That means they can upset you more than anybody else. That's what marriage is. You find somebody has a perfect ability to push all your buttons. And I think most [00:12:00] people know what I mean by push buttons, right?

You know, you just, this, you know, everything was fine. And you just ruined the whole evening. You just said that one thing and the whole evening, the whole, you know, you could have just been made a no big deal. I made a big deal. Now we're all stressed out because of you. And of course you don't see that.

Well, We're also stressed out because of me. I'm the one who's making a big deal about what you just said or did, or what you didn't do. There's always two people in a relationship. So the ignorant person, the unenlightened person, they always will be convinced that it's you that makes me feel so bad. You ruin everything.

And uh, if only you were this way, then I could be so loving. And so you think you're so loving. You're not loving. Okay. You go, but I would love, you know, women will say a lot more because women talk more about love than most men, but women will say, you know, if only he would do this, then I could be this way.

I could be this way. So it's his fault. I've went, no, no, you can be that way. You're, Constantly blaming him why you can't be loving. That's your power. That's who you are. You are loving So [00:13:00] that's the first the second enlightened realization if you look at these four, which is just the recognition Okay, what's causing my suffering?

So then what is suffering? Well suffering is Resistance to feeling what that my emotions. This is sort of a subtlety here. He didn't talk about i'm just making it more logical Is that if i'm sad? You And I try to avoid my sadness. I don't want to be sad. Then I will suffer. Our suffering on an emotional level is our resistance to feeling the pain inside of us.

And what is the pain? The pain is believing a lie. When you believe that you're not good enough, or you will fail, or somebody's making you feel bad, that's believing a lie. You're the one who's in charge of you. So when you believe a lie, Your soul gives you pain when you believe the truth, your soul, you're aligned with your soul and you feel good.

So it's just a feedback loop is simply. We're blinded and we're kind of wandering through life. [00:14:00] Okay. What feels good? I'm going to go over there. And what doesn't feel good? Oh, I want to repent. I don't want to do that again. So finding out where your mistakes are allows you to self correct those mistakes.

So how do you bring more light into the world and more light into this vehicle? You have to find the darkness. So this is where psychology comes in with understanding shadow work, understanding the subconscious mind, understanding the childhood traumas. And I have to say a lot of the Eastern thought did not teach me that.

It kind of

gave me a bypass to go to my higher self, which I think is a very good practical foundation because you have a place you want to go to. You've been there, you know that, so you know when you're not that. So that was why the regular meditation helped me find my, my, my resting place. You know, I can just go back to this nice, calm, relaxed place, a flow of energy.

And, and that was quiet meditation. But then I learned how to, uh, realize that all my suffering is really negative emotions [00:15:00] inside that I need to feel and let go of. Cause when I, when I resist, And I'll give you an example of this. Let's say you're angry and, uh, you're on, you know, you're just walking around suffering.

Usually for some people that are feeling resentful, life's unfair. I couldn't do this. I would have done that if they'd done this. I'm angry with my wife. She could have done this. She's not wanting to have sex with me, whatever it is. We invent these stories and we say, so I'm angry. Okay. I get, you're not getting what you want.

You want something, you don't get it. The primitive brain will get angry. I'm not saying suppress it. I'm saying notice it. And then ask yourself the question, which is why? So that was the second thing. Notice you're suffering and then say, why am I suffering? And the answer to always why you're suffering is something that I have power over.

If I'm suffering and it's all your fault, then I can't ever stop suffering. The only way I can stop suffering is to realize that I'm causing my suffering. That's the second enlightenment, which is the [00:16:00] realization that what's causing the suffering is me. And when it comes to the way, the way I'm looking at it now in this description, it's believing a lie.

Will always cause suffering it will cause pain and and pain and if I don't let go of the pain I will suffer So i'm over here feeling my pain You know, what's our first pain that we get you come into this world and you feel the truth Which is I make people happy. Everybody's happy to see you in most cases.

Oh a little baby. They just pull out love, you know, just like I got a new grandchild. She's now a year and a half just adorable watching her walk for the first time wave to me Say grandpa, you know all this sweet They've pulled the love out of you. Right. And.

Uh, I kind of lost my direction. I think you have a question. What is it? Yeah,

[00:16:48] ck: so let me do a quick recap and then you can continue. Okay, that's good. That's good. Yeah, the original question was, what are the stages of spiritual development? Then you said first stage is be [00:17:00] aware of your suffering. Second stage is understand why you're suffering.

Then you went into a little bit of a rabbit hole of You know, I believe a lie and not resisting the feelings and

[00:17:12] John Gray: that that's the wrap there. The first lie that we believe is we're not good enough. I mean, that little child is so perfect, so perfect. And we're also happy. But so if I come into this world, I'm this perfect little being and everybody's happy to see me.

And what I first thing I learned is I make people happy. Then what happens when my parents aren't happy and they're arguing? What do I think? I just failed. I guess I don't have that power. I can't make people happy. Something's wrong with me and I don't know what's wrong with me. How did I fail? I just don't know.

That's why some people will walk around, go, I don't know why I'm not successful. Don't know why. Why is it not me? Or I'm just unlucky. Or I can't do this. Or they can do that, but I can't do this. That's the first lie is that we're not perfect just the way we are. And, and then it's my fault. That's the next thing that happens.

If your [00:18:00] parents are just arguing and fighting, and they may be loving you as much as they can, but we think it's my fault because before we can make them happy. So if they're not happy, it must be my fault. So this is these, and then of course, if your parents. I'm trying to get mad at you and they punish you.

Okay. The control you, they punish you. Then we get, Oh, I don't deserve to be loved unless I'm perfect. So I should always try to be perfect rather than be in the place of I'm fine. The way I am. And I want to be better. I still make mistakes, but I want to be better. Sometimes people are very successful and say, I'm only successful because my parents beat me.

And I, you know, and yes, you will cooperate more with your parents. Sometimes you'll become successful just to prove to your parents that you're not a loser, all kinds of stories, but they don't have the knowledge that if you're loved unconditionally as a child, you will naturally look at your mistakes.

You will naturally want to be better. You don't have to be driven by punishment. You can actually be driven by, A way of communicating love to a child and I wrote a whole book on that which is children are [00:19:00] from heaven But let's just get back to that original lie What happens then is we believe a lie we will suffer until we start getting messages from the world That tell us the truth.

So we're always looking for the truth when you get to the truth you get Uh now you go to the third state of enlightenment where you're able to recognize the truth Somebody says, you know, you're really brilliant and you kind of go. Oh, I guess I am You're able to accept that. Okay. You're able to release the negative belief that I'm not good enough.

So remember that's the original cause of all our sufferings to believing a lie. Now, just look what happens to our culture, which is why it's falling apart. I'll take an example of when the trade towers went down, which was planned demolition, any expert on planned demolition, you can see the little things going off and yet everybody said right here, Those planes all by themselves caused those buildings to come down.

That was a massive lie, a massive lie. There's a nut, and so everybody believed it. When you believe a massive lie, what happens, your ability to know the truth is diminished. [00:20:00] All we have to do to subjugate people, you have to realize there are bad people in this world. Evil exists and they want to control you and their places of power.

And when you believe their lies, you weaken your ability to know what is true and your enlightenment is dulled. And they become dependent on the liar to know what is true. And you, the truth is you have an aversion to the truth, even, you know, with the whole COVID scam, I think everybody knows that that was a big lie.

It's pretty much agreed upon, and people who can't hear me say this, just let this pass by. But, I mean, now these people are going to go to jail eventually. Right now, they cancelled two of the vaccines, saying they were killing people. And we know the other two did it. We know that masks don't really work.

We know Six Feet had no scientific evidence. All this has come out, if you look at some of the alternative media. Any of the little stuff. And they had They had all kinds of treatments that they're using in Japan, for example, they use ivermectin in Japan and America made up this story that ivermectin was dangerous.

Well, it was not dangerous. It's one of the safest drugs ever. It's one of the top 10 [00:21:00] most influential, safest drugs on the planet. And yet they said it was dangerous to take. Anyway, we get lied to, and if anybody, you know, still believes that the government doesn't lie to you, well, we all know government lies to you, that's called, what's that called, uh, security, they can say anything they want, and they can justify it, they have to lie.

So, There's corruption. Every single government has been corrupt. And so what happens is corrupted governments lie to you. And when they lie to you, believe that lie. I don't believe those lies because I was never punished as a child, never punished. My brother brothers were all punished. Which they got the message is that they're bad at my parents.

My mother convinced my dad, they're very spiritual people. My mother really mastered unconditional love. She convinced my dad, let's try and experiment with Johnny. Let's never punish him. So I've never

been

an amazing life. I, all this creativity and everything, because I'm not afraid of making mistakes because I don't have this big fear that I'll lose [00:22:00] love.

I always got love.

So

that was a dynamic, but these are some examples of it. Believing the truth. You have to be able to believe the truth instead of disbelieve the truth. And so when you, when you believe a lie, the bigger the lie you believe, the more you can't believe the truth. You can't access the truth.

So this is like really big and COVID did that. And so now what we saw is all this massive dysfunction, more violence in the homes, more sickness, more people are dying. Economy's crashing, inflation's off the chart. Men are weak. Uh, if you, if you give men money for free, they become weak. And that's back to our talk last time.

You know, men have to earn it. If you don't earn it, you don't have the power. If you don't lift weights, you don't get the muscles. You know, if you don't set goals and follow through, you procrastinate. You know, you find the weakness in your, your masculine becomes weak. If you just indulge in addictions, do what you like rather than what you have to do, and then balance that with doing some [00:23:00] things you like until you can get a balance of your masculine and feminine, where you like your hard work, you know.

Actually on that

[00:23:06] ck: note, quick question about that. Is there like, you know, I'm a scientist or like, you know, breakdown percentage kind of a thing. Is it like 20, any of, you know, for John, how would you teach someone to find that balance as a conscious man?

[00:23:23] John Gray: Oh, conscious man. Okay. So see, I'm just going to talk, not my theory.

Okay. This is pure biology when you're in a stress state. Okay. You're not in a creative state. You're in a primitive state. Okay. So we all know cortisol is cortisol is present. You can't feel love. You can't nurture relationships. You know, if you have a toothache, you're not nice to anybody. Okay, so it's a real simple thing.

You know, if you're suffering, I'm out of money, worried about this. You're not going to be your generous loving self. Very hard to access love when you're in a stressed state. Matter of fact, you can't. Biologically, your brain only looks at the negative [00:24:00] and can't look at the positive if you're in a state of danger.

Because it only makes sense, right? If somebody's shooting at you, where are they shooting? Where are they? Where are the terrorists? You know, this is, and the whole thing about the terrorists, that was all made up as well. Uh, there were no terrorists in Afghanistan. I mean, it was, uh, Bin Laden, who was actually known to be a CIA asset.

It was all a big setup. People need to get in touch with the real history. But the most exciting thing I want to talk about, the biggest lie is right now people can go and they can, uh, go to Stu Peters. And you can find, or just go online to look for the, a new movie. It's called the Old World Order. Please watch it because it is the truth.

They have made up our whole history. It's the evidence. There's all these buildings that were built by master architects that were here when we landed from Europe. It was already here. There was a huge cataclysm and mudslides everywhere and buried cities. And we just found this place. The Europeans came and found America.

[00:25:00] There weren't just a bunch of Indians running around in teepees. There are sophisticated cities and buildings. And then they had all these bombs go off and destroyed those cities. But some of the places were left. All the Capitol buildings, for example.

These

were built in 1850 with the most advanced architecture our planet has ever seen.

Our generation? No. This was all here before and they have all the evidence, all the pictures. You have to see it, the old world order. It's amazing. So I, I just got, it just happened. It just came online today. So I'm a little excited. Everybody's going to get to see it. I already knew all this stuff. We've just been lied to again and again and again.

So we're able to be controlled. You have to realize all of these governments in Russia, when they killed over 50 million people to become dictators there. China, the Mao revolution killed over 30, 40 million people. They killed all the intellectuals. They killed all the people. They killed all the books.

They had the children rise up and fight. It was that's how you control people. There's main you see the psychopaths that run this world. They're psychopaths [00:26:00] You can't even imagine how evil they are. They delight in controlling and making us suffer So anyway all that to the side that's believing the lie So you wake up and you get the the red pill you realize that everything you think you know is true is not true That spiritual revelation is the knowing the light so It's just in terms of Buddha and the four stages there with then you start realizing I'm the one who's creating my suffering.

So let me feel my suffering, the emotion associated with it, and realize my belief system that's causing that emotion, change my belief system and the negative emotion goes away. And that's the release. I have the power to release the suffering. So if I get upset by something, the only thing upset me is really you.

Could be my wife and that can't upset me anymore. Why? I just have to say why. Not that I am, I've learned all this stuff. It's been 50 years learning this, but the fact that I'm having sex every day, not ejaculating. I mean, we're talking hours of sex [00:27:00] when we have time. Uh, I'm so filled up with love. Just love, love, love.

It's, I, I call it love bank. My love bank is filled up by making love. Woman's love bank is first filled up by how you treat her outside the bedroom. And then, if you can treat her well in the bedroom. Then her love bank will be full. You know, I analyzed this when I used to ejaculate always, if I would ejaculate, there'll be some argument within two or three days in the relationship, because the bank's empty out when you, when you ejaculate, but not completely, not completely.

But the key is, is to learn how, if you're still ejaculating, not to have too much sex generally once a week to ejaculate is can maintain certain stability in a relationship. Cause if you abstain from ejaculation for six days, on the seventh day, your testosterone levels will go 50 percent above your baseline.

So when your testosterone goes up, you're king. So anyway, once you learn to release it and you get good at releasing, then you're able to [00:28:00] sustain being free. And that's another level of enlightenment. So those are ways of describing some stages of enlightenment and spirituality is a practice that allows me to come back to love, a practice that allows me to come back to who I am, a practice that helped me find my wholeness, a practice that a state of being of unconditional love, a state of being generous, a state of expressing your unique virtues.

Everybody has their, you know, there's virtues, generosity, forgiveness, unconditional love, kindness, motivation, hardworking. We are born with like oak trees, banana trees, apple trees. We have our own virtues. And what we want to do is make sure that we're expressing those virtues to align ourselves with the creative impulse inside of us.

And what I've seen is this is a very Taoist idea, Asian idea of the masculine feminine within us. And you ask the question, what is it? 30, 70, whatever. It's basically [00:29:00] regulated. It's, it's probably 90 masculine, 10 percent feminine. When you, when you look at it from the Asian point of view, cause that, you know, that, that Zen picture and they've got all black, but there's a little ball that was their way of looking at it is something deep inside of us.

As a man, I find my depth through my feminine. And for a woman, she finds her depth through by expressing her masculine in a small way, but maintaining her feminine. It's a little bit different. Um, I think this would be of interest to you and others is to know that we as men As our warriors, conscious warriors, is that we will come out as little girls.

We're not any different. First three weeks, we're little girls, no difference. Then the Y chromosome, which is the defining factor of masculine and the feminine, it releases, it activates 23 genes that women cannot activate. Okay. They're not female genes. So we, we have these extra 23 genes with the Y chromosome because [00:30:00] there's thousands, tens of thousands of genes, but we get these extra 23 and their job is to override certain female genes.

So we can't access them without having sex with a female. Okay. That's, that's the main, that's why we want sex so much is it makes us feel whole. And, and if we don't find sex, we need to find our wholeness through service to others. Okay. Cause that that's part of our. Uh, are balancing with the feminists that care about others, you know, and ultimately masculinity is pure selflessness, but with that pure selflessness and the act of serving others who have less than us or who are female, what happens is our estrogen levels will begin to rise as well, higher than we can ever have them go up in a healthy way.

If you just drink beer or whatever, your estrogen will go too high and your testosterone goes down. If you're just having sex with yourself or somebody else, you get your testosterone go up briefly along with estrogen and then both will [00:31:00] crash down, particularly your testosterone goes down. Uh, you know, there's a lot of, again, lies out there.

But, uh, but finding the truth, one is the more you're able to heal the negative messages that we believe about ourself, we start to realize the truth. This is called the waking up that's happening right now in the world. People more than ever before than I've seen when I've looked at history have mistrusted the government.

They mistrust religion and they, they mistrust authority because religion is a form of authority apparent. So, basically, if our parents were not trustworthy, meaning they gave us negative messages and we just absorbed them, then we will fight to preserve our parents beliefs. And one day you wake up and you realize it wasn't their fault, they were, you know, they were just indoctrinated by others as well, and it's all a lie when it comes to am I worthy of love?

Am I good enough? Yes, I want

[00:31:55] ck: to double click on one thing that you said it that was quite interesting You said 90 [00:32:00] masculine 10 feminine. I find my depth through exploring the feminines Can you just double click on a little bit more feminine is?

[00:32:07] John Gray: Without a doubt the feminine is depth. It's easy. Now the 9010 I said is more of an asian idea And I personally think that's probably it from one point of view We're kind of looking at this your abstract notions, but we can look at it biologically Biologically when i'm feeling well being my My body is making 10 times more testosterone than a woman.

[00:32:31] ck: Okay,

[00:32:32] John Gray: so there you get a balance there. And when a woman is feeling good, okay, if she's feeling good, not stressed, she's feeling loving and good, her estrogen levels are 10 times higher than mine. And when I can make sure my wife feels safe and heard, and I, and I'm important to her, what happens is her estrogen goes up, If I can make her testosterone, her estrogen go up, meaning I make her happy, my testosterone goes up because testosterone [00:33:00] goes up with independence, with confidence, with making a difference, with getting paid, anticipating winning, any of those things, or doing what is difficult for a noble cause.

That's the most masculine thing you can do. It's something you don't even want to do. You don't like doing it, but you're willing to do it without complaint for, for a noble cause. So this is where I teach men. You want to be really strong. And people have known this in the past. Okay. If you were a teenager and they want to make you grow up really fast, you'd go in the army and you'd stand in line and they'd insult you and you can't insult him back.

Okay. They just say, I can't even remember the things they say, but it's insulting things, disrespectful things as you stand at attention. And if you even roll your eyes. Give me 50 push ups or you have the whole platoon do laps because you gave him shit. Okay, you learn how to suck it up. So yes, you don't gain depth through sucking it up.

What you gain is detachment. [00:34:00] Once you have detachment, that's a certain level of maturity that I can be detached. Then you can dip into your emotional feminine side and you gain depth. But the first for me who have tremendous depth and writing all my books and understanding all this It first came by me bypassing my female side, which is emotional issues and just detaching into meditation So a meditation and this is one form of meditation.

I'm going to teach the next one in a moment This one is what TM taught and a lot of meditations teach is I can't say a lot do there's so many different kinds of spiritual practices meditation, but and I'll tell you why let me deviate from that for a second. If I'm, if I spent my life attaining some kind of enlightenment or maturity, and I say, okay, and I have a very special practice that does this is every day at this time I need you to raise your arm 15 times, and then say these words.

And you do that every time you raise your arm 15 times and say [00:35:00] those words, you're actually resonating with me. And so you get the benefit of all my hard work to become enlightened. You get in that moment, a surge of enlightenment. That's the whole thing of what was called the master disciple student, or simply any master disciple student.

And you know, if I play tennis with a tennis pro, I'm like a tennis pro. I mean, I'll just go right into it. But if I play with a friend who doesn't know how to play tennis, I'm like hitting, hitting the ball back. I can resonate. I can resonate with somebody's expertise. So how to resonate with somebody. One of the ways is you.

You basically listen to them with admiration or you feel vulnerable and you're going to learn from them. They know more than you. See, all of our resonance comes from being in the theta state. When we're, that's a dream state. It's also the hypnotic state. It's measurable in your brain. When you're dreaming, your brain produces theta.

Well, for the first seven years of life, Our brain automatically produces theta. We're still asleep. All children haven't woken [00:36:00] up. And they're just absorbing everything, copying, absorbing everything about their parents. So if, if maybe the parents hate each other subconsciously, but act like they're loving, you'll end up feeling that you're not loved.

You take on their neurosis. So a lot of my work with my clients, when I do therapy is to have them become their parents and their parents relationship and have them work it out. You know, what does your mother feel about your dad? But how did your mother feel in this situation? You actually find that those feelings that our parents had not healed or resolved are running our lives now.

And so this is all such interesting stuff, but you're talking about your feminine side gives you depth, allows you to go into your feelings. That's good as long as you have a grounded in your masculine side So so I was I got grounded in my masculine side through my monkhood my detachment my my discipline also Uh, admiring [00:37:00] a mentor that's a quote guru, but admiring a mentor who was, uh, not giving me dysfunctional ideas, but the best his culture could give me.

And then at a certain point, he wasn't really who he said he was. Um, you know, what you find out with what I was his personal assistant, right? So in the beginning, when you have a teacher, you put them on a pedestal, you put them on a pedestal because you're seeing in them what you can become. Okay. When you're drawn to someone, it's because they're expressing something that you can, you can do.

And here I am a world teacher. He was the biggest world teacher at the time. I'm a world teacher. Why was I drawn like I was his number one student? Because I needed to awaken that part of me that's expressed in him. So with the books you read, the people you're drawn to, if you feel, if you're aligned with your soul, your soul says, okay, you need to hang out with those kinds of people, read their books, take their courses, work for them, hang out with whatever it might be.

You'll be [00:38:00] drawn to that as opposed to not being following your desires. You get easily get hijacked. Your soul gets hijacked by the senses. You know, by alcohol, addictions, uh, um, ego trips, whatever it might be, instead of coming back to feelings of love and alignment with who you are. But how do you find who you are?

This is the trick. To find who you are, the third stage is to realize, I'm the cause of my suffering. As long as I think you're causing my suffering. I'm not aligned with who I am. I'm the creator of my life. I'm aligned with the creator of this life. I'm co creating this life with the divine. I know that by getting my downloads, by what comes out of me, is not just me, but it's what comes through me.

You know, these are later things that happen as you practice spirituality. Yes.

[00:38:48] ck: So, John, thank you. I love the multi direction conversation we always have. We can go through different rabbit holes because you're such a, you know, substantial human. [00:39:00] I'm curious, because you've been a disciple before. You are now a world class teacher.

And so am I. I'm a teacher as well, right? So, how do you teach your students not to put you on a pedestal and then, You know, start to say negative things about you and this and that, you know, like how would you teach,

[00:39:20] John Gray: you know, I felt so blessed to have a teacher, uh, to have been his secretary, put him on a pedestal and to take him off the pedestal without being judgmental.

What I saw is how many people in the TM movement were misled. Uh, and I remember, you know, he taught what was called the meditation and you can be enlightened and you can get a certain level of enlightenment. Just that meditation technique

is

really good and the benefits were real. And then what came along is then Siddha Yoga came along and he was teaching cities and people were going to Muktananda at that point.

So then Maharishi, he shifted his direct and he wanted to teach the city program and he wanted to outdo [00:40:00] the, the other one. Cause. TM people were going to this other guru and, you know, you want to keep your flock and keep them doing your practice. And so then he, he, he thought now all these people are having these enlightenment experiences and we were, you know, it was after I think four years for me or five years, I was, had one level of enlightenment, which was unbounded consciousness.

Okay, I'm, I mean, to then it's like a mind blower. You're no longer just this body, but you are infinite. I mean, it's an actual, it's like when you take LSD or mushrooms, you'll have that experience, but we weren't taking LSD or mushrooms to have it. We're meditating to have it. You know, we were just one with the universe and that was very real.

That's one of the first ones. First was my mind has found this resting place and that was really cool. And then came for me, This unbounded awareness. And right after that, it was something that happened in the universe because then all these we're taking these long meditation courses, six months, one year, and suddenly, There was this one guy who had it and then I had it and it was like popcorn.

Then other people started having it. It's [00:41:00] just this unbounded awareness. Then what came about was, but you always experienced unbounded awareness. You weren't necessarily being unbounded. That was the next one, which is, you see, you have these experiences. That means I'm just experiencing. And to a certain extent, that's what religion is.

I'm not against religion, but I, religion is believing in other people's spiritual experiences that you don't have. That's faith. I love that.

[00:41:25] ck: That's a quotable quote.

[00:41:26] John Gray: That's a good one, Robin. Yeah,

[00:41:27] ck: that's great. I love it.

[00:41:29] John Gray: So, but then they put you on a pedestal, okay, because you have these experiences, you put on a pedestal.

And so I watched as people all thought that the Maharishi, he was teaching this levitation technique and nobody levitated, but he thought, you know, I was his good buddy. You know, he's like my dad. I'd meet with him every day. We planned a day and sometimes he would like Um, I thought this was gonna work.

It's not working. It was like depressed because I got to see the star on stage. See, we're both stars on stage right now. But [00:42:00] what do we become when we're not on stage? A lot of teachers are not what they profess to be on stage because when you're on stage, you're getting all this love from people. who are attracted to you because you are expressing part of their higher self, so they're drawn to you.

But all they see is you when you're feeling totally loved. You're not seeing that teacher when, when they're not in a good mood,

[00:42:21] ck: uh,

[00:42:22] John Gray: when they're upset about things, when they're mad at their wife or whatever, or when they're not perfect. What I've done is what I got to, what I do is I try to be very transparent about my lack of perfection, or at least my journey of lack of perfection, uh, you know, revealing these things and revealing challenges and revealing techniques that I need to do.

It's like if I'm teaching a man how to, uh, how to be multi orgasmic, uh, you know, I teach the procedure and I say, but even for me still, sometimes I ejaculate, you know, it's a bummer. Um, and then I, I used to, you know, realize if, if I didn't [00:43:00] ejaculate, sometimes I get sore balls and I, that was a long time of getting sore balls, but I really wanted to not release my ejaculate.

Then I realized, Oh, I'm getting sore balls, but I'm just being too greedy. See, I reveal, you know, my journey. I reveal all of my journey and I reveal to a great extent, whatever's bothering me now and not in a way where I'm seeking their help, but I let it be known my limitations and, and my repentance, so to speak, I realized I did this, I could have done that.

And so forth, then people get to see the other side of me. So they can't project. They can't project this fantasy onto me. See, this was the whole idea behind the guru system where people could project perfection on you. If you don't reveal anything about yourself,

uh,

Freud would, you know, if you're, what you would do as a therapist in Freudian is you never reveal anything about yourself, then the person projects onto you.

And then he had this idea, which is true, but it's kind of weird. [00:44:00] Which is you want to create counter transference. So if I don't reveal anything about me, you put me on a pedestal. As soon as you pay money for me, then what happens, if I start feeling like I want to beat you up, then I already know that that's my counter transference, which is your father must've wanted to beat you up because people will project on you things and, and women who have been molested will always want to try to seduce you if you don't reveal anything, but all you have to do is to break that projection is just tell true stories, true stories about yourself.

So, you know, probably in every talk I give and every interview, I'll mention something which is current in my life that I'll share something, you know, I think as a, so that takes away this projection and you can see it most dramatically. Most people don't have this experience. I could have it. I, my projection went away when I became his personal assistant and saw that he would get depressed.

Sometimes I also saw that he was, he'd make up things in his mind. Uh, He was paranoid about certain things. Uh, and he's still a good person. He's still wonderful. [00:45:00] Except what happens the more, the more love you get in your life. Okay. And to a certain extent to get that love, you are more enlightened than most people because you have to be a container to receive it.

But the more you get, it's like a magnifying glass and whatever neurosis you have becomes magnified just as your gifts and talents become magnified. Amazing. I mean, everything just gets bigger. The more attention is put on you. So you'll see that, you know, really famous people often go a little crazy, little wacko.

They have, they have to go through, what are you? You're not really a movie star until you've been through rehab. It's like, and people don't realize if you get to the place where you have to go to rehab, you're having serious problems. You're suicidal. You have hurt people. You feel guilty. All kinds of bad stuff has happened in your life, but you see the movie star.

On TikTok and they're all wearing glamorous clothes. It looks like their life is so happy. I'm the therapist. I get to know how crazy people's lives are. I also get to know what happens under the sheets. And today not much is happening under the sheets. [00:46:00] People have lost that passion and attraction because they don't have the polarity.

See what keeps passion alive for a lifetime is when I'm more masculine than my wife. When I'm making more testosterone and she's making more estrogen, we will feel attraction. If we, if we're becoming the same, we don't feel attraction.

[00:46:16] ck: So I have a question about, about that. So some couples, cause you had mentioned LSD, psilocybin, all these things, some couples turn to substances like MDMA as a way to help them address what raised our vibration, raised their love and joy and help them work through the, the crunchy part of their relationship.

What's your, uh, perspective around that as a expert around?

[00:46:40] John Gray: I've done almost everything

once

or twice, and I would never want to become dependent on that, you know, and some people shouldn't be doing it and some people can get a huge amount of benefit from it. So at least now there's a lot of therapists that will help people go through it.

So they're not just. doing it on their own. Uh, you know, [00:47:00] ayahuasca, mushrooms. I haven't done some of the more modern ones people are doing because I'm beyond that. I do not want to depend on anything to change my consciousness. Anything that outside changes my conscious is lowering it. I am the source.

Okay. So that's a nice place to be where I don't depend on anything to feel good. And that's part of one of the challenges of stabilizing your enlightenment. When you know how to find your place of feel good. Now you have to go on situations that take it away. And then you have to More quickly, how quickly can you come back to being in that state?

And there's nothing more powerful than a sexual relationship, uh, where your partner has the ability, uh, to influence you. See, you know, very few people can take me down except my partner. And now that can't happen because I've figured that one out. I have the, when you have sex with somebody, you're giving that person the power to influence you, giving someone the power to make you feel better than you can feel at any other time.

And if you [00:48:00] give them the power to influence you, then. If they not happy with you, they judge you or criticize you there. You have no defense against it. So what you have to be able to, you have to learn to be unconditional, which is I'm willing to love you no matter what. And there's a journey, which is those four stages, is when I'm mad at a partner, I come back to, okay, I'm creating my suffering.

Why am I, how am I creating my suffering? By believing something that's not true. And I do that by depth, which as you said, going to your female side gives you depth. But if you become, uh, uh, If you're not grounded in your masculine side, then you can go too far to your depth, and then you become dependent, you get too emotional, you get too upset about things, and then you have to work harder to come back to your male side.

Uh, I just see people, males getting lost in therapy. They get weakened by, by talking about, oh, I feel hurt, and I feel sad, and I feel afraid. There's a place in, in Asian enlightenment systems, a man never cries. Unless his heart is broken. So that means in his personal relationships, if he feels [00:49:00] a loss, okay, or if it's a big problem.

Now that's even biologically true as well, which is men produce cortisol primarily when problems are big, big things. Men produce adrenaline most of the time and that's little challenges. And when you're producing adrenaline, you have no emotions, you're detached. Kind of like if you're driving a little fast, you're just like feeling more alive.

But then when you see the lights go off with the policeman behind you, you went right into cortisol and you're shocked. I mean, ah, terror, you know, I could lose my license, uh, whatever. If you're going really fast. So those, we all have those memories of times where police have it. I've given us a ticket or something.

It's highly stressful. And somebody of authority can come into your life. You're reduced back to being a child where you're powerless, where somebody can have power over you. And that, you know, when you just see the horrible things our government does and what they're moving towards, it's to infantize us.

It's to make us like children where we believe lies. So I want to once again [00:50:00] remind people a great new movie to watch is the Is the old world order there's the biggest lie one of the biggest lies is that Uh that people in the 1850s built these capital buildings They can't build capitals, and then you go into the capital buildings in every single state in America and they're like, there's these like palaces, unbelievable.

You just have to see it to believe it. I love to promote the things. I've seen some

[00:50:28] ck: photos actually. Yeah, you've seen some of those. Another one. Yeah, it's pretty cool.

[00:50:31] John Gray: It's very, very cool. It's just a wake up call. We've all been lied to and we're being dumbed down. People are way smarter in the 1800s than they are now.

They read literature.

[00:50:40] ck: By the way, John, I really appreciate how. Because the last time we talked, we talked about this very thing was topics like this off camera. But now you're just like, Oh, fuck it. Let's go. Talking in front of camera. That's

[00:50:55] John Gray: our second talk, so I'm more intimate with you. Thank you.

[00:50:58] ck: Thank you.

That's so [00:51:00] cool.

[00:51:00] John Gray: And, and they, they, you know, there's no such thing as toxic masculinity for all the men watching. No such, they're toxic people. And there's just as many toxic women as there are toxic men. And the only reason you get this toxic people and what we have to know, and this is so common is what's happening in the world is when a mother is not happy with your father, you become a toxic person to some extent, unless you repent and you only repent when you have somebody show you another way of being.

That's having mentors. We as men need to have successful mentors, people that inspire us and motivate us. And one great person may not motivate one person, but you've got to find that. And you're a great teacher now. And you're you by living, what you teach inspires the people that come to you and they need that mentorship just by having it rubbed off, rubbed off.

It just rubs off on you. And I remember that other thing. This is a very Dallas idea that in Taoism, they didn't have internet. And so. All around China, there are all these little, little masters everywhere, and the masters [00:52:00] sort of found their way to finding their alignment with the universe, and they developed their own techniques.

And so there are all these variations of enlightenment techniques, but the real key to it, the secret to it, is that by following what they suggested, the actual movements, or the mantra, or the process, you're aligning yourself with the person who taught it to you. That's the power of it. Find somebody that you really like and stick to it.

And then you're drawing from them Their experience and and that's often called shaktipat. That's called transmission, you know You got to have that you don't try to do this all alone until you're giving it to others

[00:52:35] ck: So so john real quick question. This is a personal question I was i'm hoping that you can enlighten me a bit and I know that we only have a few minutes left too as well I am a very curious person And when I'm curious about something, I put a lot of intensity into it.

So I do tons of research. I look at different teachers and try to find my own, like, understanding of what it is. So some have, may have accused me of, you know, shiny object [00:53:00] syndrome. Like I'm just kind of following one thing after another.

[00:53:03] John Gray: Yeah. That's it. By the way, that's a temperament. There's nothing wrong with that.

You're a red.

[00:53:08] ck: We like red. Yeah. So, so, so, so help me articulate this because the way I have in the past being driven by chasing the shiny objects. But today I feel quite centered. And these are just additional perspectives that I can look at. I'm like, Oh, let me look at this way then find my own truth. I'm curious, how would you articulate that temperament, that affinity, you know, as a way to learn?

I mean,

[00:53:39] John Gray: well, okay, so, you know, in China, they teach a whole class, they have another version of it in America, they have another version of it. Well, those are the two and also in Europe, there was a more ancient one, I wrote about it in my book, children are from heaven, it's a little various, but it's the four temperaments.

People can go online and find the four temperaments and one temperament is we like new and different, okay? And when we get enough new [00:54:00] and different, then we, that's a red, then we shift into a yellow. So when I had the freedom to have new and different, then naturally the outcome of that Is now I want to set a goal and follow through and you wouldn't be where you are if you didn't have enough support to look at the new and different.

Then you, then you discipline yourself to achieve goals. That's a yellow. Yellows are very driven people. If you're a driven person and that need is fulfilled, then what you do is you move into a green or some people are just born greens, but greens are no ego. They just want to go. Yes, we'll do this.

They're the support team. You know, it's like when I was with my guru, I was a green. Everything was to support him, to support his vision. Until I got back to mine and mine is who I am by nature is my primary color is a red. I like new and different. I like to enjoy things. I like having fun. You know, I'm a joyful spirit.

And but look, I've written these books because I had to, I have the support. To have new and different in my life, you know, I wasn't, I wasn't controlled as a parent. I could go from one thing to another [00:55:00] without being shamed. Then, then, then I could learn another part of me, which is a yellow, which is you set a goal and you follow through and you get it done.

And, and you try to integrate that with having a good time while you're doing that. And then you're, once you've achieved your goals, your ego gets smaller and you can be a green and you can feel happy. You know, I'm happy to follow anybody if they'll do it for me. If nobody can do it, I'll do it. You know, it's like.

At all the funerals, I don't want to give the talk, but everybody says, you know, we don't want to give the talk. You're the writer. So, okay, I'll do it. And then I'll do it. So, there's just this, I'm happy to follow. I'm happy to lead. And then there's the blue, and the blue is the idealist, the idealistic, you know, you have your certain idols, right and wrong is very important.

And I do have that blue. If you start opposing, if you start telling me that men and women aren't different, I'm You'll see me die on that, on that stance. You know, I mean, I will, I will, that will, I'll die on that, whatever it is, that cause, because that's what I'm born to do. But at the same time, I'm going to have fun doing it.

I'm going to have some, so you move around through these [00:56:00] colors, but you generally have your predominant one and you are a red without a question. You know, it's like you like new and different, but you, and you have to have new and different. And then when you feel that need is being fulfilled, you can be that.

Then you realize, okay, I need to set some goals and follow through and whatever. And then I need to let go of my ego and do these things. And then I have to let go of having to be right all the time. Some people are born a blue. So, you know, they love to boss everybody around. They're all, all government people are blues.

You know, they have idealism. They don't have no logic at all. They don't do anything. Our politicians, but sit there and make everybody right and wrong. And they're totally corrupt because they don't have any of the other qualities. You know, they don't have the heartfelt, you know, you're very heartfelt man.

Yeah. And when you share that it's through your female side, you had depth and I want to get to that. So what, what, what happens for me is because by nature, if you're a red, you're more on your female side as a man, you have easy access to your female side. So what you want to practice is never [00:57:00] verbalizing a negative emotion to change somebody.

You just have to, you know, it was like, Oh, you know, I, uh, somebody said, well, did that hurt your feelings? Uh, well, it's not a really big deal, but I'm processing it. I'll never say out loud. You hurt my feelings. I won't say you make me angry. I won't say you make me sad. Except when my, my wife of 34 years died, uh, I was devastated for two years.

I had to go around trying to get sympathy from people. You know, I basically, Unfortunately, I've, I've had my mother killed. I have my dad died by found dead and drunk his car and my brother commits suicide. Another brother, another family killed in a car accident. You know, another one. Uh, you know, I got a lot of death in my life.

I'm almost afraid for people to be my friend. It seems like my business partner, two, three weeks ago, you know, um, all my money is invested with him and he died. And I find out he's got all these debts. So he left everything to me, all the debts. So, you know, as, as [00:58:00] one of my good friends said, uh, Which was my men's group.

He said, man, that's brutal. I went, yeah, that's brutal. But I'm not going to talk about all my emotions around it. What I'm going to do is I'm going to sit by myself and I have a journal. I have a piece of paper and I write it out, not type it out. You use both sides of the brain when you write. This is another problem for everybody using typewriters.

You're not activating your whole brain if you're not writing and I write out a process and if you read in my books My best book on this is how to get what you want and want what you have If you find you're procrastinating in life or you're getting upset in relationships or you're not committed to a woman.

You've got blocks And so what you do is you start analyzing what are your blocks. So you do therapy on yourself. So it's do it yourself therapy. Now I help men do it themselves therapy, but my books can teach them as well, but I'm only helping them so they can learn how to do it and not depend on me. So it's all do it yourself.

Remember anytime you're doing it yourself. You're making testosterone, but [00:59:00] anytime, if something's upsetting you, you're too far on your female side. So one of the ways is to get back on your male side by doing a process, a do it yourself process to take the negative feelings and transform them into positive feelings.

And this is all in my book, how to get what you want. And a lot of other books, every book I write this process, it's 10 times more important for women, but for men as well, the more enlightened you are. The more aware you are, the stronger your female side will be and more tempting to go to that. Okay, because when you have great awareness, and this is what's happening to the kids today.

They're all coming into a more enlightened world where they have greater awareness. So boys have greater awareness of their female side and it's always easy for a boy to go to his female side. Male side is hard. You got to do the hard work. And so do what you like came out in the 60s. That was a big theme.

That's also the big theme of Aleister Crowley, who's the known as the number one Satanist worshiper of the devil. His, all his books are all like, do what you like. There's no, there's no right or wrong. What [01:00:00] you like is what is powerful for you. And there's people that live that way. They have no morals.

They just do what they want to do. They just assume that's what a narcissist is. If somebody does what they like without consideration of other people. So you, it's so easy for men to go to that place because if you're masculine is weak, where do you go? You automatically go to your female side. Oh, the female side is do what I like.

This is hard. I'm afraid. Oh, I won't succeed if I do this project. So what I want to do, I'm going to procrastinate and do what I like to do. That's weakness in males, which is you got to do the tough stuff and then go have fun. Okay. You can balance it without a doubt. So that's for men. So easy to go to your female side.

Cause then you don't have to do what you're afraid of. You know, nobody wants to do something and risk, I mean, but you have to learn, but you have to do it. That's part of masculinity is set goals and do what you have to do to achieve them. But for a woman, it's just the opposite. A woman female side of us is depending on others to make us happy, depending on substances to make us happy.

That's why I think taking the drugs, [01:01:00] those drugs. Can, can give you a flash experience of the reality that you, you're, because you've been living in such a lie, you're contained in this little world of insecurity and inadequacy and you can't make dreams come true and you're not, you're not aligned with the powerful being of the universe.

Okay, so people live in that lie. That they're limited you take some of those drugs and you experience. I'm all powerful. I'm one with the creator I'm one with the universe. Everything is perfect. I remember when I did mushrooms the first time I was out in some rough terrain And I sat down and my experience Unbelievable.

I found the perfect spot to sit It is the perfect spot. It contours to my body perfectly. I can't imagine anything more comfortable than sitting on this ground because ultimately at that higher level frequency, everything is absolutely perfect. Every disaster is there to teach you something that you're supposed to learn in this lifetime to fulfill your destiny, to realign you.

And the universe all the time is [01:02:00] conspiring to help you achieve your goal in this world. Every, every, my brother, my My business partner dying, terrible thing, horrible thing. Now it's a big mess, but I realized this is. You know him, his karma and his destiny, but also is helping me fulfill my destiny because I was giving away too much of my power to him.

I was letting him, I make all this money. I hand it off to him. And then he tells me how great it is. Then I find out that we're massively in debt, but we have some assets. I said, we're going to be okay. But then so I started a new business. So I just started another business just as soon as he died and I stopped being dependent on him.

It came out of me. So I've got a whole new business and it's big. Uh, cause I tend to do things big because I pull in a lot of energy. Now I just want to complete with what you asked for, which is different experiences of spirituality. What you have is Chi Kung, which was a different kind of spirituality, which is actually feeling the life force [01:03:00] energy, the Chi energy.

And different movements and ways of feeling it. And I, I don't know, have you, have you, Oh, I've got to finish up now.

[01:03:06] ck: Yeah, I know, John. I mean,

[01:03:09] John Gray: talk for hours. So the concept here is that life force is always entering us. Otherwise we're dead. You know, I watched my mother, my wife die, you know, she's here. And then suddenly there's no force in her body at all.

She left. So the chi energy stops going into the body. It's always going into the body. We're just not aware of it. So all people have to do is just put their hands up and say a prayer and feel your fingertips with the intention of feeling the energy and they'll start to come alive. Do you know, do you feel the chi energy?

Are you into that?

[01:03:38] ck: Uh, I am cultivating it. That's right.

[01:03:42] John Gray: Well, let's cultivate it for a moment. Just put your hands up with me because you just listened to me for an hour. So you'll get it right away. Now think of a prayer that you have. And this is where you sort of bring in the heart into it increases your ability to feel.

So you create kind of a prayer. You can just imagine there's a God that loves you. And you're [01:04:00] talking that God, I'll just do it. Which is, uh,

[01:04:05] ck: maybe you want it for your next one.

[01:04:07] John Gray: Well, what's the next one? I'll just stay there for a moment. I read it in my book. So this is a prayer. I call upon the powers of the universe.

If you don't believe in God, you believe in a God, you have a sense of God. Oh, good. So dear God, you're talking to God. Now, dear God, my heart is open to you. Come fill me with love and light. I'm going to say it again. Dear God, my heart is open to you. Come fill me with your love and light. Use my fingertips using the fingertips, send your love and light.

Now notice how right away your fingertips are lighting up. Can you feel that? Okay. That's feeling the energy coming in. When you can feel the energy, it's waking up. The channels are in your fingertips when it's waking up and you can fully feel it. Then you can move it. So then you move it to the palms, move the elbows, move it here, move it to every organ in your body, and now you can move the energy.

Now that's just the physical reality of it. Now you realize that every. [01:05:00] See, we'd be floating off in the universe wherever we want to go if we didn't have blocks to that energy. So as humans, we have our limitations. They have to be healed. When the energy is flowing in, every time we have a negative emotion, that means the divine energy has been blocked by your belief system.

So, so now you can't pull in more energy. You can only feel a limited amount to keep alive, so to speak. But if you want to have more energy, you have to become aware of the block. What are the blocks of a conscious being? It's no longer just physical pain. The blocks are emotional pain. And this is a recognition that if I have a negative emotion, I feel the emotion and I'm pulling in the energy and then I feel my negative emotions is where energy is blocked.

And now I learned to send the energy out, send the negative energy out and pull positive energy in, send the negative energy out, pull positive energy. And to send the negative energy out, you first have to feel the negative energy, which is anger, sadness, fear, regret, shame, and all the emotions I talk about in my book.

Not feeling left out, feeling like a failure. And those are just [01:06:00] thoughts. Feel the emotion, you feel the emotion, you send it out for about 5 or 10 minutes and you go through all of them. Now you process this one, you process this one, this one, and then you feel what it is you want. This is manifestation.

Now you suck in the energy through your fingertips because you empty it out. You create a vacuum to pull in more energy of the frequency that you want. And then you feel like you can feel what you want. So you're going out and in, out and in until you can create a circle. Okay. Now you've got a circle.

It's just now it's flow. So that's a flow state. So we'll do that in our next session. Well, help you guide you into the flow state and the flow state. Then you can actually fully imagine how it would feel to achieve that goal. When you can do that, then the universe conspires to make that happen for you.

There's even research showing that if you imagine exercising, you'll get 80 percent of the result of actually physically exercising. So I decided the other day, because I got [01:07:00] tired of going to the gym, but I know what it feels like to lift heavy weights. So I did it. I just went through the whole routine I would do at the gym.

And the next day my muscles were bigger and they were sore. So that's my go to now. Amazing. I could go to the gym in my meditation. But before that I, I go to success. I imagine all my clients getting better, their relationships getting better. Imagine people loving my books and I, and my meditation. I can totally resonate with that.

And then the universe conspires to provide for you what you resonate with. So we'll learn about this is all on an energetic level how to heal your body how to heal other people How to generate and create your life Consciously by moving the energies around

[01:07:41] ck: John, you are a treasure. Thank you so much for just showing here, you know, telling me all the, all the crazy stories about everything.

I appreciate you. And I look forward to talking the very next time. Thank you so much. Appreciate you. Enjoy the rest of your day. Take care.