My next guest, Brandon T. Adams, is an Emmy award-winning Producer and the Host of the TV Series Success in Your City. He is a podcaster, speaker, author, advisor, crowdfunding expert ($35M+ to-date), and media expert.

We talked about

  • Simple Rituals For Optimal Energy For Speakers
  • How I Overcame My Speech Impediment & Fear of Public Speaking
  • The Steps I Took to Improve as a Public Speaker
  • Different Power Tools in Public Speaking
  • The Science of Storytelling (According to a Public Speaker)
  • How He Overcomes Inner Resistance & Make Videos With Consistency
  • How to Build an Audience (From a Professional Speaker)
  • What He’d Say to My Younger Self Going Through the Entrepreneur Rollercoaster
  • How to Change Our Mindset During the Low Points
  • The Value of Being Open and Vulnerable (As a Public Speaker)
  • The Million Dollar Lesson He Learned After Hitting Rock Bottom
  • Identity Crisis & Update Self Identity (For Those Just Sold Their Businesses)
  • How I Quickly Transitioned Out of the Old Identity (After Selling My Business)
  • How to Have Energy Beyond Belief (According to This Entrepreneur)
  • Building Business Relationships As a Long Game
  • The Airport Test And How Relationships Enrich Our Lives
  • First Steps To Create Long Term Business Relationships
  • What Tests Could You Do BEFORE You Get Into Business Relationships
  • How to Be a Tactical Communicator in Business
  • Video As a High-Level Networking & Relationship Building Tool
  • What Tech Platforms to Use For High Level 1-1 Connection – Brandon T. Adams
  • The Right Cadence of Communication And Approach of Adding Value
  • Three Boxes And How They Relate to Relationships, Dealflow, and Revenue
  • Adding Values to VIP Outreaches
  • The Insider Information I Learned About the Media Business
  • In the Last 5 Years, What Belief Have Most Improved Your Life
  • What I’d Tell My Younger Self Going Through Dark Night of the Soul Moments
  • What Does It Mean to Live a Good Life

Full Episode

Links

Quotable Quotes

Whenever you feel the hesitation to share your story: two ways to think about this. 1)think about the outcome that's going to come from it. And 2) it's not about you, it's about the people that could be impacted by your message. You no… Click To Tweet if you want a core theme in terms of content, we share who we are as people. Share who you are, what you believe in, what you stand for, what you do, how you help people, how you help people in your area of expertise. And then repeat Click To Tweet when I experienced the obstacle, here's what I do. I say, Brandon, what is the lesson I can learn here? And how can I use this obstacle as a way to grow and make it a win. And usually will always any obstacle I have when I look at it that… Click To Tweet the process is what 98% of it. And the other 2% is when we have the wins or the accolades or the goals that we achieve. If you don't enjoy the process, you're going to be very unfulfilled and unhappy. Click To Tweet the more we're vulnerable and share who we really are and what we've been through. The more people can relate to you and see you as a human being, not this person on a pedestal that nobody can relate to. So vulnerability and authenticity… Click To Tweet I feel like your net worth, not only in your bank account but in terms of your overall wellbeing is based on the people that you surround yourself with, that make you the happiest and help you perform at the highest level Click To Tweet you find out who somebody really is when they're losing or they're hitting a difficult time. Click To Tweet And so as a TV producer, how I look at media now is I want to know the truth behind it, who funded it, that determines what's going to be on the content and catered towards, and what's their agenda. What is their goal with it? Click To Tweet

Insight Video Clips

 

Full Episode Transcript

Full Transcript: The Power of Communication and Strategic Relationships - Brandon T. Adams

Welcome to Noble warrior. This is a place where entrepreneurs talk about what it takes to create a life in a business of purpose, joy, and fulfillment.

My name is CK Lin I've been a PhD from UCLA. I've been the director of, from the university of California. I've been a tech executive. I've been an executive coach. I've been on a quest to create a life of purpose, meaning joy and fulfillment. My next guest, he is an Emmy award winning producer. He's the host of the TV series.

Success in your city recently launched on amazon.com and success in your city.com. He's a podcaster speaker and author adviser, a crowdfunding expert, and a media expert. Please welcome Brandon T. Adams.

Hey man. How are you? Thank you for having me.

Thank you so much for being here. let me start off with something easy.

How was box breathing for you as a way to start up a podcast?

Good. You were the first person to put me through box breathing before? No, and I've been on a lot of shows, so I love it.

Awesome. Do you have a regular meditation process or have you done breath work regularly as a way to get into things?

Yeah, I've done breath work.

I've done meditation, yoga. I did yoga this morning, which feels amazing. yeah, I, think there's a lot of it. It's a great way to clear head and, also I think about the times I go on camera. A big thing is sometimes you have this not anxiety for some people in society, but it's all this energy and need to release that before you go in front of the camera.

So I've done breathing, I'll go like that. I'll jump up and down, move my fingers, toes and everything, and release that like excited energy. so I think it's very important. I also do the cold pool thing, which is a brain too, where you go in a cold pool, or ice bath. And then obviously when you do that, like your reactions, jump out and so you've got to really control your breathing.

and, yeah, so breathing is important. Other wise we die

 

die So you're a professional speaker and, speaking is part of your path and for a lot of people, speaking is one of the biggest fears.

Yeah in

Toastmasters, they say the fear of public speaking goes even before the fear of death.

So as a professional speaker, what do you do as way to get yourself ready? I know you share a few, but are there some core ones that, you must do or that you, that, you've cultivated over the years as a way to anchor yourself in a place of confidence and just total presence, total power.

So try be speaking to a person that's doing speaking or somebody that's scared shitless, even talk? Yeah.

let's do both.

Okay. So first off, for somebody starting out in and to give you perspective my background, when I was a kid, I actually had a speech impediment.

I was born with the list. So my S's and sometimes my shoes, like I couldn't enunciate. And so that was a disadvantage for me. So coming from a professional speaker, I didn't, at one point couldn't speak well. And so how I mastered that and for anybody who's looking to become a better speaker.

Practice I would practice in front of a mirror. I would look at myself and how I communicated and I would say different words. And then I just, I built that into my subconscious. I remember saying I am a great communicator. I am great at sales. This was at a young age, by the way, I was like 10 years old than 12 years old.

And then how I conducively would work to get better is I did what everybody talks about. Being afraid to go speak in front of a group. So I would volunteer to go speak in front of a group for a class project at different events, we go to, there's opportunities to go take the mic. I would do that even though I was scared shitless.

So doing things that. That you're scared of to put yourself in a position where it doesn't, it's a lot easier next time. So go and volunteer to speak in front of groups and you'll slowly become better at communication. Now, if you want to become like the best at speaking and communicating and taking a stage and, I'll go through my routine before first stop, the best speakers are great storytellers.

Look at Tony Robbins. If you've been, I know you have, if anybody's ever been to a Tony Robbins event, let's say it unleashed power within you notice he's sharing a lot of stories from past experiences. He's going back to moments in his life and other people's lives. And because of that, we're more likely to engage with it.

And it's proven when somebody shares a story, the likely hood of us to retain the information, because we can visually, we hear it, but we also can see in our minds, we're more likely to retain the information. And, also it brings us emotional effect for us. So we may not remember everything they said, but orally, remember how they made us feel.

And then when you do share those stories, those people in the audience, the, person, the stories that you share, that person might be that person. So Oh, that's me. I can relate with that person. So share a lot of stories. what I do before I go on stage is I have a few things. One. It's not negotiable.

I work out six, seven days a week, but before I go onstage, I do a workout because it gets all my excitement outs. It makes my skin look better. I perform at a higher level. And it's proven when you exercise, there's a certain part of your brain that is engaged, that allows you to be more creative, allows you to be happier, allows you to be more energy.

And so I work out before I go on stage. Before stage, let's say 60 minutes prior, before taking the stage, I don't really want to talk to anyone. I want to be by myself. I want to think about what I'm going to talk about. I pray, I believe in a higher power and I'm asking for the higher power to help me in communicating the words I do to the audience.

And, then right before going up, depending on the venom at what I have. It is all I'll be behind stage. I will go on one knee. I'll pray. I'll put my head down. And I have this video that plays, and I know the sequence of the video. So it's an intro video to who I am and everything. And at the end of the video, as soon has the videos done very strategically.

I have the song Eminem his song until I collapsed start playing at the 48 second Mark. whats happens is, it goes until a minute 12. So I jumped, I go onstage and I go to one side of the stage and I go like this, I clap. I go from the right side, left side, right side.

I jumped into the audience, I run around and I build the energy and then I come back on stage. And then I start with a question. He start with a question. You can engage them to think about what am I going to answer? It's always asking questions throughout your talk. And then again, sharing stories throughout and being unpredictable.

The best speakers. I don't want to be monitoring all the time. I want to go high and exciting. If you don't predict it, you just don't know what's going to happen to be entertaining, because if you're a boring speaker on your monitor and nobody's gonna fucking listen to you. And also as a speaker, as Tony Robbins will share this, he does it a whole nother level.

He talks about how, he says this, he'll tell, you said, Hey, just so you know, I cuss, he said, I'm going to cuss. And she say, no, there's a reason why I do it because it's proven when people cuss. And audience is jolted. These are like, Whoa. He just said that. And it's like a igniter for them to be more engaged to listen.

I don't do it on the level of Tony Robbins because when I was at his event, I counted. And you said a hundred F bombs in 22 minutes. Wow. That's a lot of talks about it. He, said all these words, he's they're just words, but he said, it's proven it will engage you so intentionally throughout my talk, depending on the audience, because a corporate audience might not like that.

I will say, fuck, or I'll say a certain word and it will jolt somebody engage them, then there'll be more lively. So these are, more techniques in terms of how to engage the audience and become a really good speaker. But the biggest things in terms of preparing yourself on stage is I think exercise is important.

I like the fast I don't like to eat before I go on stage. I want to feel like I'm light. And, I stay myself before Glenn staves. I don't want somebody talking to my ear. I pray. I go up on stage and it's sometimes I, feel like a blackout because I get off stage. I'm like, what just happened? But I'm still in my zone and how my thoughts are organized.

I wrote out my whole talks before. And so I'll know in my mind, this comes next, this come next, but I'm open to change the script based on what's happening in the room.

So you'd be essentially capture a mini heals journey from speech impediment to really lean into discomfort and speaking to any opportunities you got to getting really good.

And then you share with us how you prepare yourself before this speaking engagement, how you, right before your exercise, you anchor yourself, you listen to Eminem, you put yourself in a zone and then right away you go into running around and ask him powerful question as a way to engage the audience.

And then you. what else did you do then? You, or drop F bombs or maybe not as many as Tony Robbins, but do it as strategically as a way to engage an audience. Did that capture roughly your hero's journey around

a hundred percent? Yes.

So, this is let me share a little bit about my story and I think that's, a good way to going to.

the learning process that the metacognition aspect of it. so for me, I've always been, taught to, kids are seen, but not heard though. That was the way that we were taught growing up. So I always censor myself. When I was growing up. And then, after coming to the United States, I made a conscious decisions to learn English.

But nonetheless, I had still had to overcome whatever inner chatter that I have about. my accent or anything like that. So I had to imitate TV anchors or, actors on friends or Seinfeld as a way to learn the American accent. And then afterwards doing, graduate school, I, joined Toastmasters and that was the beginning of my transformational journey actually.

And, I had to, overcome my, fear of speaking in crowds. It's so interesting. I recounted back the first few public speaking engagement that I had. however small the audience was, I literally had to print out verbatim each every word. Hello. My name is dah Otherwise I wouldn't be able to even, express my thoughts because the fear was so prominent.

So, let's actually talk a little bit about,

 

I won't, get into the, strategic relationship and so forth, but I want to get metaphor for a moment about the learning process. Cause you and I were passionate aficionado of personal development. Can you share with us a little bit about how you go about learning today as a way to really intentionally grow yourself to be the best version of yourself.

Yeah. So a big thing I do is I'm always soaking things up, willing to learn. I think the best way for us to learn is learn from other people that are doing what we do and just learning, taking one bit of the technique from them or tip. So like for example, I've, I'll sit down.

On YouTube videos and watch talks and I'll pick apart pieces that I like and don't like, and then I'll implement them into my talk. And so that's one thing, or like I've, saw we're both in metal. Can we tell us, he gave me this idea once and it was really good. He said, Hey, he would have, influential friend of his create a short, send it video customed to the audience, and then he would show that during his talk.

So it's, everything's customizable.

Can you back up, what do you mean by that?

I wasn't paying attention. So

one more time.

What did you say? Let's say, give an example. I'm talking at an event and, I, here's an example. I'm talking to a group of, let's say people that are in the ice business. I just throw that one out there.

And so I'm gonna, I get one of my mentors to create a video and say, Hey, here's, I'll say Kevin, Hey, Kevin, you want to create a video? That says, Hey, all you ice business people. I just want to share a few things with you. I know Brennan speak with you today. I'm going to share three tips I've learned and how it can help you.

And then let's say that goes for two minutes. I will take that video and implement it into my presentation. And that video will play during my talk. So it's not just me giving a talk, it's me bringing in my inner circle and they get a very interactive experience where they're calling out the audience.

And so that was just one thing I learned from one of my mentors. And so always be willing to learn. I study people, I see what they do very well and I take it and I implement it and I try it at different speaking events. Not all of them work, but I try them. So trial and error.

So, in the case of, let's say you and I speaking, we would have been wise for me to say, Hey Brandon, can you record a two minute video to my Noble warrior audience?

Say, Hey, I'm speaking about the power of networking. Communication is strategic partnership that like that. Yeah, like that. Got it. Got it.

So, that's one side of learning. So having a mentor, having, you've got a mentor, you got a coach, you got somebody that can give you advice, learn from people that then there'll be four.

Because there's always somebody out there that's done at a high level that you can learn from. Don't ever think that, you know it all because you don't. So that's one and then completely emerging yourself in the content, in what you're doing. So again, I'm relating back to speaking, but like before I go do an event, I will.

I will see who's all going to be in the room. I'll see. What's all going on in society, everything that pertains the timely thing that it pertains to what's happening. And then I'll go and I'll write out this, all this content. I brainstorm about all this on a doc. And so this is me open up my mind to all these different ideas and usually my best ideas happen.

Right before I do a talk. So it's like this brainstorming session, then I can take these pieces and implementing them. So for anybody else for any kind of thing, you're trying to master always be brainstorming different ways to do things differently and reinventing yourself. Don't always try to do the same old thing.

Always reinvent yourself and be spontaneous because in the world we live in, people want to see the next new thing, the next, a different way to do it. Those are the two things. And then there are things, I read every day and I listened to audio books. I was just on a book tour and I went through four audio books in 12 days.

the more we

Can you're at regular speed or a little speed up to two X, three X.

I do regular, all my friends say they do two acts. I just, I never did it. I don't know if I'm slower than the listening around, but I just like to listen to the right speed.

Yeah. so I'm a, recovery recovering, shall we say cerebral list?

Other days I'm in my forties now, but in my younger days, I always thought faster is better. Because that means I get to take in more information and knowledge, And these days I actually appreciate more and more the spaces between the words, because it's a lot of times today, I actually don't just care about the content.

Content is great. Don't get me wrong. I still appreciate content, but I appreciate even more the energetic transmission. Now, what does that mean for the younger CK that are listening? what the fuck was that? That means is the power of the pauses, the power of intonation, the power of storytelling.

It's not just about words. So, to I'm speaking to a professional communicator here, right? So maybe you can chime in here. It's not just the worst, the information, those are great. And, for, a message to land, it's how you talk about it. It's how you really. navigate

and in play with the emotions that tensions that's in between the spaces.

I'm curious to hear it.

Sometimes a pause. In silence is, the best thing that can happen. if you want to talk about sales, they're all stain. Like the person that, talks to the most loses the person that talks the least wins. the more you listen, the more data you get.

but for, in terms of speaking, sometimes if you want to really get something across, you say it, and then you say nothing and let them acknowledge what just happened. So see, and then also how you say it, how you say a phrase like. What is success or what is success? And so it changes the way you enunciate your words and how you communicate to your audience and the tone level, and whether it's higher, low, like that will really determine how it's interpreted.

So work with it, play with it. It's, all, I'm always like trying new things when I'm speaking to other people, but there's a lot to it in terms of those gaps. Talking fast sometimes, or, really pounding something home. And this is how people become really good communicators, as you understand.

Intellectually understand, I'm trained professionally as a, as an engineer. Yeah. So again, let me, throw the youngest CK under the bus, because he's an easy target there. My younger days was more about information. Let me just conveyed the logical solution to you and how I'm pitching you or enrolling you doesn't matter.

it's just what it is. But then the more, the older I get, it's like, Oh wow, there's an art. There's an importance. There's an emphasis on storytelling. So I'm still learning, right? There's the, unconscious incompetence. There's a conscious in confidence. There's conscious confidence and there's unconscious confidence.

right now I would say very much. maybe hovering on the conscious competence part, there's always room for improvement. So what would, you say as a way to get better at the art of storytelling?

For one, get more stories. So here's a way. So when I go to, I have all these stories in my head, right? So I have these, let's say these files of stories that I can grab from. So I will know which stories to grab from based on the talk that I'm doing. I gave a talk to some students and before we started, it was a group of 20 of us.

I asked them all. Who were they had to say their name, where they're from, what their major is and what their one question is for me, because of that, I was gaining this data to know what stories to grab from, and I have no worries. So based on that response, I might talk as catered with those kinds of stories in mind, a lot of different, cool stories and learn how to tell them stories in a way that really engages the audience.

And, you'll learn as you do a lot more talks, you're going to see, you're going to read the audience, what really took home to them and what did it. And so no that, so have a lot of stories to pull from and choose the stories, your talk that would relate most with the audience you're speaking to.

You need to speak to them in a way that it's not a story that they can't relate with. So find a way to gain a common ground. Where you all feel like, Oh, we're just people here, like a tribal, we're all, we're in a circle around a fire. We're all the same kind of people here. And all I'm doing is sharing impactful stories that they can all relate to, which makes them feel like they're a part of that story.

They are that story that isn't them and I'm showing them a way to overcome whatever it is, the obstacle in their story.

I like that. Let me use a martial arts analogy here. I think, as noble warrior, sorry. So obviously you're going to give a martial arts analogy here, so it's like you learn the basics, you learn the, punches.

Yeah, Bruce Lee said, I'm not afraid of men who knows 10,000 cakes and practice one time. I'm afraid of a man that knows one cake and practicing 10,000 times as an example. So know your basic atomic unit of, the stories that you wanted to tell and to hone those stories and practice them in the dojo, Practice telling them. And also, and cater to the audience, give them relevant stories. So it's you martial arts were practice kata, right? The forms you practice over and over again, and based on the situation do inspiring, then you can bring out the different parts of the forms in catered to what's relevant in this situation then is that an accurate recap?

 

It is. Yes. Always be practicing. And, one thing I do to always stay on top of my game for whether it be in front of the camera or, by storytelling is I create videos every single day that I'd share with the world through social media. And so I'm always trying new things to see what works and doesn't work.

And I'm also practicing, like that's practicing my storytelling, that's practicing my communication.

That's actually perfect. So let me ask you this because. As, thought leaders, as professional speakers, as someone who cares to share our wisdom, our stories, our lessons with the broader audience, professionally or personally, one of the pitfall that I see is there's a lot of desire and, but there's some invisible barriers.

To actually publishing every day and I'll make it personal for me. I want to share. But at the same time, I don't. So what would you say to someone like me who could offer a lot of value to others, but just not having found, either the motivation or the, or, problably maybe there's some fear that I'm not aware of to actually engage with.

Instagram and Facebook, whatever social media to actually, as you said, practice everyday to tell stories.

Yeah. So two ways to think about this one is, think about the outcome that's going to come from it. And then to you think about, it's not about you, it's about the people that could be impacted by your message.

You no longer have to think, okay, I don't want to do this, or I'm going to look that it's not about that. give you an example. Like this morning I woke up at 4:50 AM. I wanted to stay in bed. I didn't, I'll be honest. I wanted to lay there next to my wife and not go and go exercise.

But I've thought about the outcome that would come from after exercise and how I feel. I walked over. It's 30 degrees here. It's cold in Minnesota. And I went to an hour from five 30 to 6:30 AM. I was in warrior sculpt yoga, and it's like intense sweating everything. And throughout the process. Yeah. Like I didn't absolutely love everything I was doing.

But I knew the feeling afterwards. So I think about how do I feel afterwards from what I do, and what's the impact of that come afterwards, because you're not always going to be excited about creating the videos. I'm not always excited about it. And so that's one way to think about it. What's a result that will come from it.

And then once you get those results in a lot easier to go do those videos. And, for me too, Knowing through the videos that I put out and for anybody putting them out. Yeah. The results could be getting a deal, could be impacting somebody's life. I always think of it this way. This video could change somebody's life.

This video could make me a million dollars. This video could save somebody's life. And by not doing that video, that. Won't impact somebody's life. That won't make me the money. And I found the times that I least want to do the video is when I tell myself, Brandon, you got to go do the video. And usually when I do it, I'm rewarded by it in some way.

And so that's how I've been consistent. And once you get the wins again, like from the videos I've put on social media and here's a couple of wins. I had one Facebook live four years ago that landed me in a movie. and landed me a big deal. I had one video that led to a lot of deal flow. I had one video that led me to like powerful friendship and relationship with somebody like these videos lead to opportunities that you would have never thought of, but you got to create them and you have to be consistent with them.

So that's my advice in terms of creating the content. And also if you want a core theme in terms of content, we share who we are as people. Our belief. I'm sorry. What do you share on your videos? Share who you are, what you believe in, what you stand for, what you do, how you help people, how you help people in your area of expertise.

And then repeat, that's what you do, share who you are, what you do, how you help people, who you are, what you do, how you help people and, share valuable advice, give your best nuggets and your, if you're a coach, you're a speaker. You're a marketer. Whoever you are share your best advice on social media, because what you're doing is your building, your authority of status.

And you're building a relationship with other people that are watching you. And they, come on the internet, we got to ask the YouTube videos on everything there. At the end of the day, they're going to build trust with you through those videos. And eventually they're going to hire you versus somebody else that isn't doing the videos, the one that thinks, Oh, I don't want to give out too much.

you're not giving anything out. And then nobody even trusts who you are. They don't know you actually do what you say you are in this online world. and that leads to the opportunities for you.

So in doing this podcast, one of the most surprising thing me as a journey, when I started out doing this, it was.

In, full transparency, a great excuse to actually talk to really interesting people. And I love helping the interest in people. And, now, so that's the way I think about it. the payoff is happening right here now we're, co-creating this moment together. I enjoy it. I hope you do too, as well.

And now anything beyond that, whether it's the business thing or the other thought leader thing or the branding thing, those are all bonus points. But one of the most surprising thing for me that is when one of the guests and I were talking about his journey, his dark night of the soul moments, he is belly of the whale moments he's facing, his own shadow and darkness moments where he was staring at the barrel of his gun and he chose to not pull the trigger. And someone was listening and he said, sent to me afterwards, Hey, thank you so much for actually engaging that conversation because of COVID I lost my job. I had to face, total destruction on my business and I was actually thinking about and planning a suicide.

And so literally we saved a life in that conversation and that I actually stuck with me ever since. My egoic, my wants to go for the Joe Rogan numbers, right? Like I'm not until I, have blood level of status. But in reality, I also am very keenly aware of it's not about the numbers is actually about a audience of one.

If one person actually get impacted. The younger CK, the younger brandon that's listening to this, who's hungry for inspirational stories. Wisdom from the likes of Brandon. That actually makes it super worthwhile to even go through whatever effort go through together to share, to excavate, things that we wish we had learned when we were younger.

You and I are very similar. I got into podcasting for the same reasons. Five years ago is to connect with very interesting people, but then it became more than that. And, whether it's changing somebodies life or helping them. And I look at it, all the podcasts out there, I think there's that core theme.

the reason why they do what they do. Yeah. yeah, they make money from it, but those listeners that reach out and have their life impacted in such a way. That's what drives them because they're like, Oh, my work actually means something. And, you look at the Joe Rogan's. I love his show, but Joe Rogan started with no listeners.

We all start with no listeners and the biggest key to build an audiences, consistency, great content and marketing, what you do, and just keep doing it and keep mastering, sharpening your sword and bringing the value to the world. And that will attract more people. One story at a time.

I actually really liked that.

So let me, so I agree with you a hundred percent and for, the younger CK, again, he's an easy target, right? Listening, who is doing this, who believes in this, and at the same time you speak into the ethers nothing's yet coming back to him yet, what would you say to him?

I'll say to you, here's the thing, looking back on my journey. Because I was there once we all were the young, I'll say the younger BTA.

I like that BTA

Quincy Adams, I would say BTA from John Lee Dumas. He always called himself. JLD so I'm like, I'm going to call myself. Yeah. Great. So BTA was, was a guy that was motivated that knew we had the potential to do big things, but he wasn't seeing the results he wanted.

And he was hitting roadblock failure after failure an obstacle. And it felt like there was no like light at the end of the tunnel while also feeling crazy because everybody else questioned what he was doing. But eventually after enough obstacles and heartache and not seeing what he wanted, eventually out of nowhere, something happened.

Something came out of nowhere, that was like this huge win overnight success. And so once you find that what you will, if you really work towards what you're doing, you do consistent daily work towards your goals. Once you get that once win that one win you'll realize that it was worth it. And then once you, as a seasoned entrepreneur and I, by the way, I got a long ways to go.

I'm only 30, but I'll tell you the last 10 years, I've seen a lot of lows and a lot of highs. And every time now, when I experienced the obstacle, here's what I do. I say, Brandon, what is the lesson I can learn here? And how can I use this obstacle as a way to grow and make it a win. And usually will always any obstacle I have when I look at it that way, I find a way to use that, to make me better and to grow.

So looking at that, listener, now that hasn't got their win yet. I'm here to tell you'll get the win. You'll get it. If you stick with it. And then once you get it, utilize that, weight and that competence to get more because it does give you confidence. It gives you this, recall this momentum and ride that momentum as long as you can, because it's going to go down, but ride it to Excel your future.

Yeah. Thank you for that. And And here's what I'll say to the younger C K L. if I look at, so this is actually my second podcast, my first podcast was back in 2008 and that was actually the early days of podcasting. And, that was when Tim Ferriss and, Lewis house and all those guys were, getting their start or obviously they have, they were writing their successes in, other ways now bigger platforms.

But then I was looking at them and say, ah, I didn't have a episodes. I was like, ah, forget it. nothing was coming back then I quit. So one of the biggest lessons that I learned from actually doing the first and the second podcast is, this, it's actually not about the outcome. Yes.

Pay attention to the outcome for sure. we all want to have our egoic, my link to the effort, to some success, the outcome that we want. And at the same time, about paying attention to the process. I find so much fulfillment doing podcasts and engaging deep conversations with people. So that's what I ought to focus on.

And for me, I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are, but for me, this is part of my dharmic path, right? This is a part of my part of who I am. it's, it doesn't make any logical sense. PhD researcher. Now turn to a podcast or

yeah. What the heck? And then, Chinese immigrant who didn't speak English, who actually had a huge problem in Indian speaking out loud. But the way that I see it now is this is my dharmic path in empowering people who are totally in their head who want to speak, who want to share, who wants to support others in the world to find their voice.

And actually, discover whatever their dharmic path is, whatever their greatest life's greatest work is because I went through it and I'm still going through it right now. I'm certainly not done with my journey yet. It's still part of the journey. So I get to actually share whatever I learn to the younger kid who is totally in their head who wants to speak, but couldn't and who is like desperately figuring out how to actually share their wisdom with the world.

So

it's so important for us to talk about the process because the process is what 98% of it. And the other 2% is when we have the wins or the accolades or the goals that we achieve. If you don't enjoy the process, you're going to be very unfulfilled and unhappy. Once you reach the finish line and realize, okay, that's it.

What's next. I'm going to go into the next 98% of the process that you don't enjoy. You have to enjoy the process. Matthew McConaughey talks about this. There's a really good motivational video. I think it was Matthew McConaughey motivational video in your search engine. And he talks about how, when he started really focusing on the process of enjoying acting, having fun with acting the process of becoming the character and doing it.

That's when he won more awards. That's when he got more roles. That's when he became Matthew McConaughey. So enjoy your process and thinking like you go exercise, you get to go exercise. Like the fact that you can go exercise, you can go to a gym, you could walk there, you have legs, you have arms and you can do that.

Actually. You have the ability to like, do something. That is something you get to do, and that's something you have to do. It's something you get to do. So enjoy the process and whatever you do. And you're going to be a little happier. And I, as humans, we all have these thoughts of, Oh shit, I gotta go do this today.

Or I have to go jump on this podcast or I have to go speak, but no, I get to go. I get to go speak on a podcast show and empower people. I get to go speak to that person. I may work with me or not. I get so changed. How you word something and you get the opportunity to do it. You don't have to do anything.

You get to do it. And by changing how you, you phrase the wording of it. It changes everything, your mindset. And so enjoy The process, I looked back in my, I started podcasting five years ago and other had three podcast shows the other two are like niche ones, domain. One of them have had, it's got over 400 episodes, but I'll tell you what I enjoyed the most was my first year of podcasting.

I, was editing the shows myself. I had a full setup. Mike's I had a zoom H six I two blue mix. I had the headphones and I interviewed people in person. And I think when I, know what I love the most about the experience was I didn't have much money. And so I was traveling the country. Interviewing people in their office like you, where you started to build the connection you wanted to learn for your own selfish beings.

And I did too. And so I had those interactions with people in person and I would sleep in my F-150 pickup because I couldn't pay for hotels and I would eat canned food or $5 foot logs. And I did all these things to do what I needed to do. But I love it. Like I enjoyed those trips. I had so much fun. I'll never forget those.

So I actually enjoyed the process so much. I miss it. sometimes those times. So again for you starting out, I'm telling you, I enjoyed the times when I was broke at times and I was sleeping on my truck. It was fun. So enjoy your process and, it'll make everything else worthwhile. Yeah,

thank you for sharing that.

That's actually very endearing to, hear that while Brandon didn't just start off as being, celebrity, award-winning producer, he didn't just like all of a sudden award-winning producer, you actually went through his own, journey in the beginning. And then, and as you said, actually to me is actually even more endearing to hear that's what you did.

The overnight success to all of a sudden award winning producer,

I can relate with the award-winning producer or whatever you see online. Oh, this guru, I think introductions, I should actually added this instead of introducing all things, you had success in first, start with all the failures you had and then go into what you achieved because.

That's how I can relate with people. We all have been through obstacles and we all still are going through obstacles in life. I don't care who you are. You have something in your life. That's an obstacle you're dealing with it. We just have different ones in life. So the more that we share them, the more we're vulnerable and share who we really are and what we've been through.

The more people can relate to you and see you as a human being, not this person on a pedestal that nobody can relate to. So vulnerability and authenticity is, what makes you stand out in this online social media world that everybody thinks is picture perfect.

Yeah, no, this is actually perfect. So why don't we segue there?

I think that's a worthy conversation to have, if you look at Instagram, everything is picture perfect. Everything is glossy and then beautiful and nice. And then filtered. And for, me, certainly I am steering my journey to being a total human being. the, people that I admire most that they should pals the jurors CFLs, They're very successful at what they do, but why am I them easing their success? Why I admire Dave Chappelle is a great example, is he is who he is. And he has achieved some level of mastery he's on a bash. To express himself to the world and that like just takes balls. And I really appreciate, the way he does that.

So certainly I'm on my own journey too, to get to that full self expression level. So I'm curious to know from your point of view, Was there a journey to go from, let me be, just show the glossy side to now being more and more human. And if so, what are some of the steps that you took as a way to share more of yourself holistically rather than just the professional side, the speaker side that the guru side, and so forth,

I think it takes hitting rock bottom to get to the realization that.

Who fucking cares. I honestly like it. I don't need people to think that I'm whoever I need to be like early on. I was obviously, I was, Hey, this is me. I got it all figured out, blah, blah, blah. But I didn't have all figured out. And nobody really does. Nobody really does like even, Oh, what billionaire? I was talking to you.

And he said, Brandon, we're all in this earth trying to figure things out. And so, the one moment, very specific one that made me realize that, Hey. I'm going to share who I am. I'm going to, I'm going to just say how I feel and I'm going to be me. And that was when I was going through the journey. When, my wife and I went through the journey for our show success in your city, the whole concept was, Hey, we want to figure out what the true meaning of success was from other people around the country and, do it before we got married.

And so we heard from people in our first story, we featured with Shay Hillenbrand, a guy that had made $20 million playing baseball. He was a two-time all-star played for the red Sox. He played for, Dodgers, all these different teams. He left the game to wan. He wanted to spend more time with family and two, he wanted to fulfill a childhood dream of going and having us do so he, left baseball.

He spent time with his family. He bought this ranch. He spent a lot of money and created the zoo. And within three years he lost it all. He was living out of his van, his wife left him and he was suicidal. He took a bunch of pills and was hoping that he would die. And he woke up in this van. And he believed, he found God, he saw God.

He said, I, felt okay. I should have been dead. And before that happened, he's like sitting here, all these people envy me. Think I'm a God think I'm this known baseball player, whatever else. But deep down inside, I feel like a piece of shit and I want to die. So that perspective hearing something like that, the people with the accolades or the Emmys or the awards or that.

That doesn't mean they're necessarily like happy. And so hearing a perspective from somebody that had reached such a high level and hit rock bottom, and now doing his own thing, that really, I have a lot of respect for that. And it changed how I looked at my own identity, but then I experienced it a month later because after doing that first episode, Samantha and I went to Texas.

And in the process of doing all this producing a TV show and everything else, I had things going wrong in my business. I had one business that I had a business partner. We had a buy out. I had a big speaker event in LA two months prior that the fires happened that week, our tenants was a fourth of what it was supposed to be.

We're playing a lot of income for that and it crushed us. And so I was in a very bad financial situation at that time. And so I was in such a bad situation that, my one bank account, negative thousands of dollars into it. And, my wife today and we were in the same hotel room and she was going through depression.

She was not very happy. I was feeling like, what am I going to do? And it forced us to believe it forced us to believe in a higher power. because at that time I didn't really know if God existed or whatever else. And so we went to church and, I felt at peace. And so when hitting that lowest moment of.

Obstacles in business, no money, a significant other we're in a huge argument and she's not happy. And I felt like a loser, that pushed me to look at life differently. Ultimately. Like a week or so after that rock bottom, I did a deal that made me a lot of money and I was all back in the game again. But when you experienced something like that and you hear these stories of other people, there's other ones that guy we featured that was homeless at one time, all these rich and significant, interesting people, it gives you a different perspective on life.

And so now my perspective is I'm going to tell you straight as it is. I know my success isn't necessarily just based on the bank account. It's based on my happiness, not what other people think of me. So I do things how I want to do them. And I do on my own terms. The problem is with society, they do it thinking about what else somebody is going to think, whether they're living a life, their mom or dad wants them to live or a significant other, or their audience.

You look at Dave Chappelle, he's got balls. I the fact that level, he does things. He says exactly what he thinks, which a lot of people are thinking too. And he says it and he doesn't unique way. And he's been able to build something out of doing that. Most people will say stuff that is just bullshit. Like they're just saying what they want others to hear.

That's not me for me. I'm going to tell you straight what it is. And I'm going to do what I love and that's it. And that's it. And so how I got to that point was hitting ultimately rock bottom from a relationship standpoint, financial standpoint, and how I felt. And then once I overcame that, I realized, Hey, it doesn't this, whatever the, on TV or these accolades, or what's considered a success.

that's great. And all, but that doesn't mean you're successful.

Yeah, I appreciate that. Thank you. Yeah, there's a, shall we say so? I did have a vipassana and I don't know if you've ever done it before is a 10 day meditation retreat. I had the whole idea of a vipassana is to, actually hone in, to learn, to cultivate the mechanics of how the Buddha achieving enlightenment.

The whole idea of it, the whole teaching. The number one thing that I got from vipassana is the source of suffering. There. Two, one is grasping, For things or craving for things. Yeah. I don't have as well as for aversion, Pushing away resistance through the things that I actually do have. And, whenever I'm grasping or averting something, that's where the source of suffering happens.

So, a big that, so part of the human condition is this desire for what is not. Hey, this is reality. I don't like this, or I like this other thing, right? The aggressive school was greener on the other side. So it's insidious or is part of the human condition. And then to learn how to actually, not evaluate, not assess our own self-worth based on our bank account, our popularity, what your spouse think of us or what our social media audience thinks of us is, part of the, I would say the, normal warrior discipline, right? If we want to, a life of fulfillment is to say, Hey, there is that in.

my self worth, and how I think about myself. Isn't based on nothing. So I so appreciate what use your share.

Yeah. it's, it is so true. the more you can just be really real with yourself and you, some people may have got so far down the path and lean into who they are anymore.

They've lost their identity. And that happens when you sell a business sometimes, or you get out of relationship because. Everything you communicated. And how you talked about yourself was around that one thing. Once you really figure out who you are and what you want, and start communicating that to the world, you'll, be a lot happier.

There'll be, a weight lifted from you. I'll give you an example. And you mentioned I, sold X, so I grew up in the ice business. I worked with my father selling package size for a living called Adam's ice service. And so that was always a part of my identity since I was born. And so I knew one day I wanted to buy the business from my father.

I ended up going to college, graduated. I eventually went and bought the business from my father after I bought the business. And a few years go by, I realized I started having conversations in my head that. I might not be doing this for the rest of my life, but what I had told myself for many years, I said, I would never sell the business.

It would always be a part of me. And so I started to have this conversation myself, like Brandon, like what's best for you. And so once I realized that, Hey, I don't know if I want to sell ice forever because the focus on this is taken away from the other areas that I really want to focus on. And I had the conversation with my father and it led to eventually selling nice business. And it was very hard for me because it was such a part of my identity, everything. And so the day that I sold the business and it was completely out was probably the, one of the most freeing things for me because I no longer one door was closed and another open.

And all of a sudden, all these other opportunities opened up for me, but going through the process of just. Acknowledging I had to do something I always said I would never do was very difficult because my identity was that what happens is when people sell a business, they're so caught up in that identity, that relationships and friends, everything involved with that, afterwards, they don't how to.

To be a human anymore. They have to completely change their identity. They have to pivot, they have to transition. And that's again, another thing I learned from the shale brand story was identity. And

 

so quick

injection there. So part of what I do is to empower people who are going through that transition identity process.

So if you can go into the details of what did you actually do. That empower you, knowing what you know now, right? Having gone through it on the other side, what advice would you have to someone who is going through it right now? What tactical things can you advise them to say, Hey, here's what I did to get out of that dark night of the soul moments.

Yeah, it's, starting by having open conversations with yourself and the others around you about what you're doing. they get is very difficult, but then when you do, let's say once that sale's done and you're, done with the business, it's very rarely just so you know, many people when they sell a business to somebody else and they keep them on for awhile.

It's rare that person goes out to the full amount of the contract, because like they just can't stand out. Things are run, it's not their wedding more. So that's why the companies that are buying you out usually want to do extended because they, that's better for them versus a one lump sum. So yeah, the out, so for me, what I did is I just acknowledged, Hey, this was a part of my life.

And on that piece, what I did and I'm happy for the years, I had an experiences, but now it's time for me to go to the next thing. And so once I channeled that energy to something else I was working on, which it helped that I had something else I was already doing. I was able to give everything to it. And there was no other part of me at all that had to think about the past and the business I was in, nothing.

It was all in the past. It was no longer anything. I never even had a focus again, forever. Close the door and focus on what's ahead. Don't look to the past because no matter what happened, you can't change it. It's done close it, go to the next thing. And so that's what I did at it, man. It was a weight lifted from me.

I was so much happier because it was very difficult for me. I was so stressed going through the process. I felt like I let people down. I just felt

different.

Different Yeah, for sure. So let me reiterate what you said. Okay. So what you said is really think about it, about closing a chapter that was then this is me now, and also you also were fortunate to have something else going so you can.

Leap right into the next thing versus still grasping for what should I do? Am I, my identity still tied to the business and so forth. cool. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. one of the things that actually I wanted to emphasize here is your reputation preceded you for years before I actually met you in person.

So one of the things that I really got from you is this fire that you have. Fire and, you can call it joyful life. This, a likeness, this desire, this, I don't know what else to say other than the unifier. So have you always been this way? It was, this fire cultivated throughout.

Cause I, I can tell you for, me, my fire was very quiet. It's so quiet that people thought was a robot, And it's cultivated over time to really pay attention to this joy for life. So I'm much better now than say, again, so yeah, the youngest CK on the bus, then the youngest CK. So I'm curious to know from your, Brendon's life has always has the young Brendon always been this.

This, eager to live life to its fullest.

Yes, I have. I've always had energy beyond belief. I think seeing my father, running the ice business early on his excitement for life and achieving is ingrained in me as a, kid. And I've always, I've been very competitive and, going back to like where that at a young age started really ingrained in me was I was always trying to prove something.

So for me, I, because I had that speech impediment, I wasn't like everybody else. So what would happen is people would mock people like, Oh, you can't speak or you can't. I wasn't like them. So I wanted to prove that I was worthy and I was like them. And that's where I worked to gain my, ability to communicate.

And, so what happened is that wanting to please people and be worthy and prove that Hey, I'm better or whatever else that went into sports. So when I played sports, I was very competitive in, went into the gym, like when I worked out and went into. Competitions and went into all areas of my life and went into business.

I went into making money. I always wanted to achieve something and prove, look at me, I got this, I achieved this I'm better than you or whatever it is. And so that, was something that fueled me. I'm very competitive, but having the energy, I'm going to go, And we're my life changes. Partly.

It was because I went through a MITG program, which I know you're familiar with. And that opened my eyes to the patterns that were driving or what I was doing now, there is positive to that, because look, it did drive me to achieve things, but the tweak I needed to make is I didn't need to do it for everybody else.

I just need to do for myself and say, Hey, Pat, my back, like you did it, buddy. You don't need to hear any kind of recognition from anybody else. And so that's where the fire really engaged in me before at a young age, always being competitive, trying to prove something. And now I'm still competitive, but I do things for the right reasons and I'm doing it for me.

Yes. I have some loved ones and I want to make them proud and I am. But it's mainly doing it for me. I'll have to prove shit to no one.

That's a quotable quote and that's actually really great. And then I can feel it right. It's it's not from a place of compensation. That you're competitive. Like you're not doing it for the sake of proving that you're worthy per se, that's the way that I'm feeling about it right now.

You're doing it for you because you enjoy it so much. And life is a game and you're having fun. You love business. That much is also evident. You love business. You're like,

ah, I love it. It's a game. it's a

monopoly game, you maximize all that. So I really that, and, to me, that also mirrors my personal, story as well.

When I was younger, I don't know where I got this idea from, that I have to be smart to earn the love from my parents, from people around me and so forth. So I was always paying attention to being the smartest in the room. And as you said, it's great right. To, be Booksmart. To, be intelligent.

And at the same time, there is also a cost of lenient that too much. Cause they, I became intellectually arrogant. Yeah. You're not smart enough for me. Let me go to a room that's, I can learn from, but, And it has a huge cost to my relationships. I was totally a total loner growing up. Yeah.

And also my myself worth was leaning so much on, how smart I was. And that was, a total, illusion. So my point of sharing all that is in now. This is more or not, I can be total stupid, on this show too. It's totally okay. Cause I know, I know I'm my self worth isn't depending on that, it's totally okay.

it's a freeing thing, knowing that. And when you mentioned, feeling like you are, I felt the same way before, Oh, like they're not good enough for, I need to be around people that are more like me or whatever else. You can learn something from everyone. And the second, your ignorance and, ego get involved.

It'll kill you. I always try to be the underdog. And we, only know so much, yeah, obviously we know things, but we have a lot to learn. And if you go into a room saying I can learn something from this, that's a different way to look in versus, Hey, I know it all because you and I both have been there.

You feel like, you know it all because you have some certain success society views.

Yeah. the more I learn. The more, I, know how much, I don't know. Yeah, it is. So it's so humbling and it's so good. Exciting too. Because now I know Hey, I can always learn something from all of my guests, from anyone that I speak to.

I can, I really appreciate it and enjoy this, quest for, for our understanding. For mastery. So I'm curious, I wanted to dive into the more on the relationship side of things. Cause you being quiet. this is an inquiry that we both have when, we first met. How, are you? I'm notoriously bad about building relationships. I want to. At the same time, my, I just, notoriously bad about it. So, I'm curious to know as someone who focuses a lot of time in, cultivating relationships, building relationships in a strategic way, how do you think about relationships and how do you go about doing it?

So I'm just curious. Why do you think you're bad at it?

Yeah. Great question. Thank you for pointing it out. I would say, okay.

tension of keeping in touch with people, caring about them and building relationships on a deeper level. But, my actions don't always correspond with my intention because there are so many people that I know. And, Yeah. So, there, the, lack of action part or the lack of consistent action rather is, the part where, I can be better at.

Yeah. And that's, a good segue. So action. So building a relationship with somebody is, adding value. So we do this in business. We do it in a relationship and you're seeing them together. If you don't add enough value to that person, then what's going to happen is that relationship is going to lack, one of the best advice I got from my brother, he's been married now, I think 20 years.

He, what's the 20. Wow. Oh my God. I think 23rd. We're not quite, but a long time said at my wedding, he said, Brandon, it's not 50 50. It's a hundred hundred. Yep. In the relationship, the wife and the husband, you just got to give it a hundred percent and everything I learned, just in terms of relationships is you always date, your wife never, always date your wife.

Always take them on a date

no more.

Yeah. And so when you go back to value, think about the relationships you want to be in. Let's say business with, want to work with. How can you help them? Because if you think of somebody at a high level in business or influential person, they have so many people reaching out to them, wanting something, from them, trying to take something.

If you come to them where you really actually want to help them. And you do it. You don't just talk about it, you do it. They're going to listen to you and then they're going to reciprocate. So for me, starting out to build relationships, and this is I'm going to go to different aspects of this, but I'm going to talk in terms of high level business.

So for business, what I would do is I would find, okay, here's the person I want to collaborate with. In some way I would go consume their book. I would Google them, research them, learn everything about them. And this would lead to the podcasts interviews I would do too. I would figure out ways. To work with them, help them make the money, help them achieve their goals.

And then eventually once I got that relationship in front of them and in person with them, the rapport was built, but it's getting to that point. Most people don't get to. So you actually got to invest a lot of time and effort and sometimes money into a relationship and not knowing if it's going to turn into anything.

So invest in that build rapport with that person. And then once you build a connection continuously, find it ways to help them achieve their goals or make them money or whatever it may be. I'll give you one specific example. I, when I was 20 years old, I got a mentor. His name was cactus Jack Berenger.

And he was a great mentor to me and, he, opened my eyes to what was possible, but also saw he had made a deal on shark tank with Kevin Harrington. And so I always knew that one day I'd wanted to work with this guy named Kevin Harrington. So four months I would read his books. I would study his stuff.

I would fall back then actually, I don't think he was on social media that much, but I would find different ways to understand who he was. He was from Ohio. He was a young entrepreneur that started selling seal coating stuff for driveways. He eventually went on to invent their commercial, but I study. And then I, had this idea to put on this big event, Iowa called young Ahlberg adventure.

And he was one of the main speakers I wanted to get at my event. And so I remember for three months going back and forth, talking with his assistant, trying to get them to have him come speak. And it was obviously a fee. It wasn't Oh, I had to pay a fee at the time. I didn't have the money. But I constantly was persistent sharing the value that would come from the experience.

And eventually I enrolled others to be able to help pay for that fee. And after five months, it led to getting them committed, to come speak at my event. But then another thing happened before he even spoke to my event. A connection said, Hey, if you fly to Florida tomorrow, I can give you a 30 minute car ride with Kevin Harrington.

In, I booked the flight, flew there and got the car ride. So we had the in-person interaction. And so I had my opportunity to share that I knew about his past without even if you were in a room with somebody that you never met before and they start sharing, Oh, I know you sold ice for a living. I knew you grew up in Garnerville IO or whatever it is like you're going to listen.

You'll look, Whoa, how do you know this about me? The same, what there, I built the trust and relationship with this guy at a higher level. He knew I had already paid for him to come speak at my event that weekend, we formed a deal together to launch a book, and that went on from launching a book to now we have investment in five companies together.

So it was a long game play the long game in the relationship. And it. The fruition from your work may not, you may not see the profitability or the hardcore relationship for six months or even a year, but when you do, it's going to be very powerful for you in your business and what you're doing, and it doesn't even have to be business.

It can be something you want to learn from you want to learn from a mentor. Hey, go work for them for free. And learn from them and build that rapport with them. So that's in terms of the business side, how can you add value? How can you help them understand who they are now in terms of when you're interacting with people on a regular basis for one, listen, everybody else wants to talk about themselves.

Listen to them, learn who they are, and then in your conversations with them, it goes back to the speaking in my mind, I have all these different file cabinets in terms of experiences and things I've done that can relate to that person. But based off of what they say to me, my message that I speak to them about is going to be catered to what they like to do and something we have in common.

So if they mentioned that in college, they played rugby. I'd be like, Oh yeah, what was your position? They'll say I'll be like, Oh, I played flanker. I played at Iowa state university. We have this commonality and then we can are connected. So they, like me. They're more likely to talk with me further. I'm likely needing to get their phone number.

We might jump on a call. Maybe we do business together. Find ways to find a commonality between you and the person you're talking to. And then the next step is following up. What happens is many people when they're going to events or they're connecting on, let's say a zoom call for mail or something like that.

They talk with somebody, they build a connection. They say they're going to follow up and talking, but it never happens. So you got to follow up, you got to do that call and then you got to follow up again, and then you got to constantly cultivate that relationship. Eventually it will turn into something, but also don't have a, like a schedule, Hey, after this many calls, we got to do business together, know just know eventually something might come from it or something might not ever come to it, but you'll have a really good, meaningful conversation.

Like we're having so add value. Do your research find commonalities between you and the other person and communicate with them. Now, one other thing. When you, this is why I think video is so powerful. So video tells stories. Video builds, trust it, draws emotion with people. When I do calls any kind of call, it's not just a phone call, it's a video call.

If you don't do a video call, you're losing out on opportunities to communicate with somebody and connect with them. It's proven when people can see our eyeballs, our eyes. They're more likely to trust us. If I was wearing glasses right now, you'd be like shades. You'd be less likely to trust me because you can't see my eyes facial expression.

When you're smiling, it engages a smile on somebody else. There's a lot of communication that happens beyond the words that come from our mouth. Happens through how we engage and interact with people and the tone of our voice and the look in her eyes or our eyebrows, all this stuff. So do video calls to build trust with somebody.

And so for me, putting out daily video content, what am I doing? I'm building trust with a lot of people. And then when I meet those people in person, it's not a, Oh, Hey, this is who I am. It's Oh man, I love your videos. I've been seeing your stuff. They know everything about me. And then it's it's, a warm introduction, which is more likely to lead to doing business together versus going farther down the process of it.

Maybe six months later doing business. So it's another way to build trust with your audience. So the authentic care want to actually help people and in business, the quickest way to get someone's attention is make them money or pay them.

I like that. So let me do a quick recap of everything, the framework where you present, the mindset that you're taking on is this is a long game, right?

That you actually care that this is not just strategic

outcome and actually care too. Don't just act like you care actually care because if you don't and you're just trying to play, I can read that shit them all away. You actually got to care about the

person. Yeah. So that's the mice that you take on, and then you start to study on knowing what they want.

You read their books, watch your content. So you really read between the lines of who is this person about, right? What they're committed to so forth. And then you focus on adding value. You provide a space of listening. You actually actively listen. You help them achieve their goals. You have to make money.

And then, you ask them about what they'd like to do, right? So these are ways different ways to add value to these people's lives. And then when you have that, before, the in-person meeting, you wanted to have a video call as a way to cultivate trust, right? Seeing them in the eyes.

I seen their facial expressions, And they're in the in-person meeting, then you can share more about, what you know about their past, then potentially launch a book or some kind of project with them together and if not working for them and then actively follow up with them.

So say, and do what you say you're going to do is that accurate recap of everything. You said a

hundred percent and the whole doing what you say we're going to do. This is where a lot of people actually hurt themselves is they'll stay. They can do something. They'll, throw out all kinds of things.

Hey, I can help you do this, do that, but they can't actually follow through with it. So when people do say something like if I'm going to go say, Hey, this was going to do for you. I'm not going to be telling the world, Hey, I'm going to do this. I can do this for you. Like I'm when I say it, I mean it, and I'm going to back it up.

And what happens is when you do that enough, people know you're good for your word. And if your kind of person just throws out, Hey, I can do this for you. And you don't, you're not reliable. You're not a reliable source, but when you actually follow through enough with the right people, they can trust you.

And that when you say one thing, they'll know, okay, Brandon says it. I trust it. We'll go with

it. Yeah. So let's go back to the source though. Cause you identify Karen, Kevin Harrington. Is there a potential mentor collaborator that you like to work with? How did you pick that person just from watching him from a distance?

How did he know that before you have done, before you're committed to really, cultivate his partnership. And I asked this question for the viewers who are watching this and specifically, because. Yeah, thousands and thousand people, millions of people, eight or 7 billion people available on the planet in, I wanted them to pick right.

How the, right relationship to form to invest

ultimately. Yeah. So think about who somebody you want to become in your own way. So who's somebody you look up to, and this could go, let's say you're in sports, you're in business. You're a music singer, whoever, look at somebody that's already achieved what you want to achieve and, has been there and done that.

And somebody you could see herself being friends with. And so that's a first step. The reason why I pick Kevin is because. I related to the fact that he grew up in Ohio. I grew up in Iowa. So we both grew up kind in the Midwest. I liked that he was a young entrepreneur and knocking on doors and trying to sell himself in terms of selling the steel coating business.

And then he was still in high chairs and he was doing all these things. Very young, entrepreneurial minded. So I liked that and it was cool. I thought the fact that he was a judge on shark tank for a couple of seasons and the whole infomercial thing. So that was cool. Like that stuff I could relate with.

And so I saw that and I thought, I want to figure out how he does what he does and do things at the highest level. So I picked him. For you for whatever, find the person you want to know and understand and be able to be in your own way someday and figure a way to work with them and get them. They'll share everything to do with you.

And so I've picked up, I have people in my life that I've built relationships with over the years, because there are people I want to be like in my own way.

Yeah. So recap someone that you can relate to. Someone that with the kind of success that you aspire to have, right? Whatever domain that is, could be business relationships, whatever it may be, Physique, all different kinds of domains. That's actually really beautiful. One thing that I share on the podcast quite a lot is this idea called the airport test. Can you imagine yourself being stuck with this person, at the airport for six hours? Know, w what is your gut reaction? Are you excited about it or you're like, Oh my God, I can't wait to drop in with Brandon at the airport for six hours, or, is your gut reaction me?

yeah, it would be great for the first, 20 minutes, but afterwards it will be like a chore, right? Can you actually sustain your enthusiasm and your interest in this person? to me, my definition of richness. Is in wealth is how, much I'm enjoying the moment. So if, actually enjoy the moment right now, and then that could be a really rich relationship that I have.

So it's not just about the strategic aspect of the business part, but I actually want to enjoy the moment,

sharing that enjoying the moment. Like one of the key components to humans is. We want to be able to have relationships that we can connect with. So whether it's your thing, get together, your friendships, the tribe you're in.

And that's ultimately what we want. I think that's over all, everything else. Like one, obviously we need food to survive. We need some over a head, to live in, but the next one is we want to fit in and communicate with other. Beans. And so when we can connect with people that we really enjoy connecting with and being around that makes us happier people, but I feel like your, net worth, not only in your bank account, but in terms of your overall wellbeing is based on the people that you surround yourself with, that make you the happiest and help you perform at the highest level.

Yeah, for sure. and to me, it's actually not about. Yeah, 10,000 people. I think it was a Curry vantage Chuck. He said, I really, when I, pass, I want, a gazillion people on my funeral and my mom thinking, you're already dead. Who cares? One and two to me. that's his metrics, right?

So I'm saying it in just, but for me, it's actually not about the number of people rather it's. the depth of the relationship that I cultivate with people I want in my life. So it's not 10,000 or whatever, 5 million Instagram followers rather. It's, the depth of relationship that I actually cultivate with the people in my life.

Yeah. so

question for you. So if you think about cultivating relationships, Cause I have friends who are multi-millionaires, where they're busy. They don't have a whole lot of time. And then I also have friends who are in different social socioeconomic class as well. So they enjoy long conversations.

So the question I'm about to ask is this.

Cultivate new relationship. I like that it's know and trust, And giving the amount of time that each individual half they may want to just get to the deal point really fast, or they may want to have a slower ramp up.

Hey, let's talk about our history, our childhood, where you're from before we get to the deal point. So for you, how do you gauge. just how fast to do the pitch. Cause I've heard friends who said if different school of thoughts, one is, wow, this person just go right to the pitch, which is a no-no or, this person to actually talk about relatable childhood things.

And that was very awesome. So when you talk to different people, how do you gauge

your

initial conversation?

Yeah, so I think the first step is depending on if they're coming to you and you're going to them. Coming to me and they've already studied my stuff and they want to say, they're interested in somewhat working with me based off if it's somebody I want in my life.

And I think I'd help them then, Hey, that might happen on the first call. but for a lot of things, I do if I get introduced to somebody and there's a way that we can collaborate and let's give an example, I can do a lot of calls that could lead to me, advising their company. After that call, I do my due diligence and research on the person, the company, the board, what they're doing.

And I want to understand, is this something I want my name apart? Is this something I can align with? Because I'm not just going to try to get a deal for one. If I don't think I can help them, I don't want to be a part of it because that's not a good deal too. If I don't believe in what they're doing, it doesn't align with who I am and what I want to do in my lifetime.

I don't want to be part of the deal. So I wanted to align with everything that I want and what I believe in. And I want them to be a good person if there's opportunity to make a shit ton of money. But I think the intentions for what they're doing is very. not honest or true or good again, I don't want to be a part of it.

So doing my research, I always do a lot of research. Usually before I joined a company and then be on their advisory board or work for them, I will do hours of research to really see what it is behind the scenes of who these people are and just doing my due diligence to whatever they said they are.

They are. So that's my process in terms of how we do it. And then from there, I don't try to force something if it's, I believe what's meant to be it's meant to be. I really do. I, there are certain cases where I really know I can help somebody or, be a part of what they're doing. I'll be a little more persistent and follow up, but I'm not ever going to try to force something because I think I've done that before.

And that's not good for either party, but I really believe what's meant to be, is meant to be. And everything happens for a reason. And when you think of it, that way you don't get so let down, when something does work or it doesn't work in a certain way. And it's, true. there's all saying you got to go on a few dates first, before you try to have sex with other persons.

that's not all the cases, certain things, but in business standpoints, you gotta get to know each other before you try to go into business together because when you're in business together in bed together, you're literally, especially if you're in a business partnership with somebody, that's a big thing.

It's, just like our relationship. You got to communicate, you got to know each other, what you guys are needs are and how you can help each other. Because if you don't know that you're going to fail.

Yeah. having gone through a few startup implosions. intimately involved in, one way you just share is, worthwhile to really let us summer in.

it is going business with someone, not just making a deal. I think that's one thing. That's a one-off thing, but you actually are co-founders or partners together it's as intimate. probably not as intimate, but as it is very close to actually being married is a big marriage. you gotta be able to see their best as well as the worst.

So really, have that Bain diagram overlap between what, as you said, align what both of you or all of you believe in aligned where you can have value and being complimentary to each other. And, Yeah. And then, you can negotiate the, more detailed, deal points,

right? When you are in business or in a relationship together, communication is still important, right?

There's times if you have an argument or disagreement, just get it out on the table. And it's not, it's uncomfortable sharing certain things like if you're going to confrontation, but if you don't do it's going to become worse.

That's all right.

Yeah. On the table when you're in business share exactly what you don't like about what the person is doing, or even be open to say, Hey, how can I become better?

Same goes for your relationship, because if you don't, you hold it in, it'll lead to it. Just a bad situation in all realms of it.

So let's actually talk a little bit about, the filters slash tools. cause this, type of conversation is actually what a lot of entrepreneurs and I, discuss, I think, this has made me a, my romantic notion, right?

I have a romantic notion that, Hey, if we get, before we signed a deal as a co-founder or partners together, let's go do an, ask a ceremony together. Let's actually do a Spartan race together because we get, actually get to see what we're alike under stress. And, if you like what Which is great.

And when let's proceed, may, if you don't like it, chances are, at the same behavior will proceed during other challenging times during, our business relationship. I'm curious to know, are there knowing what, you know now, are there the, stress or simulated stress test that you would put, your other potential business partners to.

that's a really good question. And I think that's true. there's a little stain that, you find out who somebody really is when they're losing or they're hitting a difficult time. It gives you just see who they treat their true colors. I would say what I've done before is I've had certain people that I've collaborated with where.

They've for example, I've done masterminds at my parents' cabin in Iowa, where they got to be meet my family and they got to see where I grew up. We got to go shoot guns together, ride four wheelers, and do all these things and atmosphere that most people don't do. And so those had been people that I had been working with and I had already vetted who they are as people, but those kinds of experiences together.

Allow me to figure out who I really want to work with even more in the future at a higher level. So the more that you can do business together or go through different tasks or things that some not related to business, you can really see who that person is and, learn about them. But I think it's a good idea.

I've never actually. Said, Hey, let's go do a race or go do this before we, decided to do business together. I think it's good to test things. People try to go right into the relationship. I also think you don't need to be, if you're like, Oh, let's form a business together. Let's get into business together.

And we have equity and all that. That makes things very complicated. Why can't you be in a relationship or you work together and you form deals where you just get in on the deal. But you don't necessarily have LLC together or your business partners together in that sense, because that's where it gets complicated.

When you add, we have equity and companies together and your business partners, that's where it can get a little touchy, specially if things don't go out the way you wanna to want it to.

I agree. A hundred percent. They actually, I brought to my a few. Possible ideas for those of you that are thinking about, sorta my line of thinking.

and it doesn't need to be super strategic, you can always be aware and observe and just watch right. Is, Hey, do some extreme sports together, go skiing together, go to, maybe go sailing together on the high oceans, the high seas. And then again, just, be aware and watch how you are, how they are then, and also the communication during adversity times.

You, talked about communication. Are there tools that you've come across as being extremely useful? So for example, a tool like, five love languages would be a tool, or a radical honesty as a tool as a, kind of like a protocol, right? Are there tools of communication that you've come across that you're like, Hey, we great to actually implement into a business.

So that way we all have the same language. The same approach to bridge our communication. Disagreement.

Yeah. So I guess, I could probably, I'm not going to give you like the, what you're expecting. if there's a certain book to read or a certain professor or whatever, I'll tell you what I've done I've looked at is, like for example, I'm constantly trying to figure out how to be better on camera and eventually if I'm going, if I was going to be an actor in a movie, how, would I go about that?

So I watched certain movies and, when I'm watching the movies, I see how they act, how they do what they do, their strategies behind it. And same for speaking. I watch other people that speak and I, watch what they do and I see, okay, what's something I can take away from that to help me become a better communicator.

Another one is like, NLP. neural linguistic programming and so like mirroring, and I guess I will get the exact thing. Go check out. chris' voss who's in our group is I've learned so much in the power of negotiation in sales with this book. Never split the difference, but also his masterclass. Is the bomb I think it's like the most famous masterclass and he used to be an FBI negotiator for hostages people's lives are involved, but he relates it to business. And it's how you word things, how you structure sentences, how you communicate it. And the tone of voice that you use. There's so many good things in that.

And again, learning from somebody like that helps me communicate at a level. I want to communicate to get things in my favor, who enroll others into what I want or making somebody feel like it's their decision on sharing a thing that I really want, but making them feel like it's their choice. And they choose that, which is in my favor versus telling them what they need.

Yeah, that's actually talk about that for a moment because we use the word strategic and has certain connotations in the in, strategy is a tool like anything else, right? So you can use it for good, or you can use it for, evil. So when you use the word strategic, when you are enrolling them into doing something that you want to achieve, what's your thought behind using this tool for good versus using it?

Yeah.

So I, really believe in what I do in, and I, will, go all in on my strategies if I really think I can help somebody. And so if I really believe when I do, and if I think I can help somebody, my goal is to get this person to like me the highest level, trust me, and realize that I'm a safe person to work with.

Because they can't see that right away until once we actually work together and they get to the other side, they're going to feel the experience and get the, whatever happens from that experience. But I got to get them to like me. My strategy is if I see a person, the Kevin Harrington was an example, I'm going to find ways to get them to like me.

To trust me and have us be on a certain level, or we have this common understanding where it's likely for us to go do a deal together. So it's, it could be mirroring. It couldn't be in a room. It could be mirroring them. I'm listening to them. I'm letting them talk more than anything. And then I'm just sharing different things that we have in common that can help us gain this, comradery and experience together.

Offering things to help them. I know, that once I help them, that they're going to want to help me in return, but I'mnot going to ask anything. I'm fully a person of service and utilizing these little things like listening and communication, sharing stories that can relate to them, introducing them people I want to know, or they, want to know or sharing things that I know about them that they didn't realize.

I knew about them. These things built a lot of and trust with them, which ultimately leads to us doing business together and making money together. Target mode. If I know that person we can work together and we can help each other, I'll do all kinds of things to get them to like me.

Yeah. So, there's a lot to unpack there, but the number one thing that I, heard from what you said about using these, strategies, these different tools is determine path because you fully believe that you can enhance their life.

Yup.

Once you believe that,

then you use these tools at his full capacity, because, you've got to enhance their life, right?

Yeah. And I'll share one other strategy. video is a key component to everything I do. So I start out, I forgot I did this with Kevin. I do this with other people too. I created this one.

I used to wear a suit. I put on a suit and I created personal videos and I made them make them customize more to them. It'll be like 60 seconds, 90 seconds, or create a video I'll upload to YouTube. So there's a link. And so I'll say, Hey, let's say, Hey, Kevin, you and I have this person in common. So I know you, I created a personal video for you that you can watch here.

Thanks BTA. And so that personal video, the fact that you took the time to create that video, but also in the video, you shared things, how, each other and more about them that builds a connection. So I've utilized that tactic to connect with people, but also I'll constantly do that. Like on birthdays, I'll create a quick video on my phone.

Sometimes I'll sing happy birthday to them. I'll send them that video and they got this video for me. That's all for them. And these again, they can see me. There that's better than a texting happy birthday. They can see my eyes. I can see my happiness, excitement for them. I'm saying their name. I'm making them feel really good about themselves.

And this is again, I'm on their mind. And so the more that I can do these different things where they're thinking about me, When they're going about doing their day and they're coming across as opportunities, because I may be on their mind because of something I had sent them a few days prior or whatever they saw online.

That means they're going to be more likely to think about me when that deal comes around. Or when the opportunity comes. So get people thinking about you all the time and at a very strategic way beyond social media, it's sending that personalized touch, the personal video, or sometimes a package or a signed book or a postcard, something that stands out.

One is you send personalized videos during their birthdays or special occasions. So then that way you can showcase your own facial expression. One is a, you send them a particular package, they call it a lumpy mail, right? Or whatever chotchkies that you may have.

And also hand written notes is another thing that a lot of people do as a way to cultivate relationships. Relationships because in the internet days, most people just send emails and that may be good, but that's a very crowded channel if you, and actually send out handwritten notes to someone in these days, people actually remember that a lot more because I remember these days when I receive a hand written message or a letter from someone I remember tremendously versus an email or a Facebook message that I hear from people.

Yeah. Is there a particular platform by the way that you use, as a way to connect with, cause I'm a technologist too, right? I know we're talking about human things, but you know what technology platforms is your preferred technology

platform for a social media platform you're saying, or

for this type of one on one off, personalized.

So isn't the Twitter, is it Facebook? Is it voice notes? what do you use.

So I'll do multiple variations. I, and if I have their number, I'm just going to text them the video. I'm going to record it. And I'm just going to record a video that's less than like 45 seconds and just send it to him via text.

And that directly to them. I will sometimes send a voice message, but I, more times than not, it will be a video because the voice text missed messages. I got to take the time, actually press that and then listen to it. But if they see a face, they're more likely to click it. I do utilize. Social media DMS here and there, and just engaging and constantly they're reminded of me.

So there's different aspects. I might, in one day I might send a video text or a video to somebody by text. And in that same day, send them a, an email personal email. So it's to hit at both different sides. And so it'll be different variations that they're getting something from me. So it's not just all in one medium.

DM is huge too. Like some of the conversations and relationships I've built from DM messages, just a DM here and there having a conversation and eventually mainly in, Hey, you want to jump on a call, let's collaborate. We jump on a zoom call and then that call leads to maybe another call. And eventually it leads is doing something together.

a lot of relationships have started with direct messages on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook.

How do you gauge the frequency? Because that's you again, use the dating analogy as an example, because everyone can relate to that. Let's say someone is emailing you or messaging you five times a day.

Whoa, that's a lot. That's too much.

There's too much.

unless you're married to someone, there's. That is a lot. So, it doesn't feel right, just on the gut level, it feels a little weird that this person is, perhaps a little, there's a sense, there's a sense of desperation per se.

But if you, don't message them enough, let's say once a month, let's say it's easy to forget them. You're like, Oh, who is this again? Because they did constant barrage of messages or incoming messages. People were trying to reach out to them. Again, I'm talking about maybe dating, I'm talking about, medicine business.

So how do you find that sweet spot in just the right cadence? Of touch points.

Yeah. it depends on if it's somebody you've never talked to before somebody you've worked with before, that would just decide. So there's been people in my career where I wanted to get them on my podcast show and sometimes it was the seventh email that they responded.

And so like most sales are done between the seventh and 19th. I may approach somebody the seventh mail work, and you could be sending email then. Let's say they don't respond within two days. And then two days later you send them a DM on Facebook and then you it's different ways that they're seeing your stuff that's posted.

if somebody, and let's say you want to get their attention for whatever it is, you can send them, let's say a video. And then baby, two days later you send them the email. I don't have this structured, Hey, after this I do this. It's just. For one, just know don't be fucking annoying.

That's direct. There you go.

And just get their attention. But sometimes let's say they didn't respond to your texts. You could engage in with the question like, how or what question. So what is, I'm trying to think of a good example. How have you been, or, have, did my message get through or that's a bad one, but, what, are you doing on this date or a good one to get their attention is, Hey, I got this, event coming up and you might, I was thinking maybe you could be a good speaker.

Would you be interested in introduction, something that is speaking to what they would want? The best one is Hey, I got money for you. Hey, I got money for you. Or I have something for you because them, that's what they want, They're going to be a lot more likely to jump onto it.

So you have thousands and thousands of business acquaintances, friends. and perhaps even mentors, right? How do you turn them from, Hey, I like you to let me pay you to be a client,

to if they like being to pay

yeah, that's transitioned right. Going from, Hey, and trust to paying clients, right?

Let's say they know you, they like you. How do you go from trusting you to now paying you as an expert?

Yeah, a good start to the, if you have a book. So like the first thing that they get, it's less than 20 bucks. They get a book. And if they read that book, that means they're going to hear all about your story, which means they feel like they have this connection with you and that book.

And to hear about your story, they're more likely to reach out, which could lead to a consulting deal or a business deal or something like that. it just haven't really genuine conversation. So Let's do it through the whole funnel. Watch Brandon T. Adams has videos.

See them.

They tell me about them.

I ask them the right questions in terms of what they're doing, what they're working on, what they're trying to achieve. And then based on the conversation, I may say, Hey, I got some ideas. Maybe we can jump on a quick 30 minute call on zoom. I call based on that conversation that we have, I will either understand one that.

I don't think I can help them. So that's two, I can help them in this realm. There's three boxes and boxes. They would get a lot of value from listening to my podcast show. I'm just going to direct them to that. They can learn more about me and I don't make any money from that, but they're going to listen to, it could be where they're at in their career.

They. They would be great to go through one of my academies it's, pay for it. And then they get into my program. It's not one-on-one with me, but it's a Facebook group. And it's a, course and learn from that could be a box. Or I could see that there a level where I know I can help them on a branding standpoint, marketing and helping them with their brand online.

I say, Hey, I here's what I do. Just so you know, I do live in one-on-one coaching. Or I do these group coaching programs. You may be a good fit if you're interested, you can apply. So that's one realm or the other realm is it's a company where I think I can advise them. I say, Hey, if you're looking to raise money, I can help you do this.

Here's all the things I can help you with. there could be potential if you're looking for more people on your advisory board, video, DM. They ask questions. I respond, I ask questions, leads to a call, the call, determines where it goes from there. And that's where it literally turns into the potential sale.

And then straight up sometimes on that call, just, Hey, do you want to do this? Would you want to, here's what it is straight up. Do you want to work with me? or it could be after the call where you send an email. When you say, Hey, I really enjoyed the call. I got thinking after the call, here's a couple of ways I think I can help you.

Here's the thing with more details. Let me know if you're interested. And from there we can decide and based off, if they're really excited, they want to, work with you. Then they'll make that decision. Sometimes you leave it in their ballpark to be the one that may take the action versus you really trying to sell it.

Yeah. So these are the people that are reaching out to you.

I have people reach out. Yeah. Reach out.

So what about, the, likes of Kevin Harrington that you're reaching out to them? Is it the same funnel? Is it no different, way, like when I reach out to you, blah, blah, blah.

I'd love to work with you then.

So if they're reaching out to me or if I'm reaching out to them, And I wanted to work with them. I'm doing a call with them in the whole call. I want it to be focused about them. And I want to learn, honestly, I don't want to talk about myself that much. I want to just learn from them what they're trying to do in here for them.

Even though I have some research already done. And say, Hey, here's, I'll offer introduction right away. I'll say here's some ways that I can give you, like I'll offer. Hey, every once in a while, if you ever want to jump on a call, I can give you feedback on helping you prepare your keynote or. One of the guys, who's in metal.

I was giving him some ideas to help get equity in the company. I think he could get equity in the company he's working with. I said, Hey, let's jump on a call. I'm going to help you strategize how you can take everything you're doing and not only get paid, but get equity in the company. So I'll just jump on a call with them and no obligation.

I want to really help him. And if he does make money, I guarantee you he's going to find ways to help me too. Going in that conversation, it's about them. So if I'm the one reaching out, you better believe I'm trying to help them. If somebody is reaching out to me, it's okay. I'm going to help them. But it's ultimately they're in a position where they're wanting something from me and I can share how it can help them through my services.

Yeah, I appreciate that. Thank you. So quick recap, reach out to them. Be totally interesting. and then see where you can add value and then, just basically trying to help them.

Yeah. So one thing, if they're, you're reaching out to them, don't have the call where you're trying to sell them.

because you're the one that reached out to them. It's different. They're coming to you, but you reach out to them. You gotta offer. Hey. I got an introduction. And then right after that call, make the intro. Don't wait a week, just do the introduction and hope that good things come for them. For that

one thing that I thought it was really elegant, really cool is, Hey, if you have a, I've made a video course about this thing, that people really love. Here's yours for free as a, token of my appreciation to you in here's something that may help you if you like it.

Great. a lot of people love it. Yeah. I thought that was a really elegant way to, also pass on the Goodwill and also demonstration that you are a domain expert in whatever it is that you do.

I do that too. I have last night I gave out. Oh six or so, courses that are worth 400 bucks.

I gave out to people that did something like tag me on social media or something simple, but I'm just, it's, a value on, I provide value to these people and then get them in my ecosystem. Do

you do that by the way in, established relationship with social media influencers, just out of curiosity,

provide them with a free course.

Yeah. Things like that.

For somebody that's usually established quite honestly, they're probably not going to go through it because if somebody sent me a free course, I'm not going to go through it. I don't really go through courses, but, it depends on the situation. If it's somebody that's more beginning or really trying to learn something, then give them the free course for somebody that's more established.

I'm. I'm more open to open up my Rolodex to introduce a connection for them, which is a lot to them because they don't have that direct connection.

I wanted to actually emphasize on something. So there's a, here's a couple of ways for those of you who are listening, how do you actually add value to people's lives?

Here's some of the things that we had talked about, I just want to, with bullet them out for you, And then Brendon, feel free to chime in and add on anything else. something that's going to advance their purpose. So James Salter church does the thing called 10 ideas. he was just sending out 10 ideas.

Hey, here's solve some can ideas that can enhance whatever it is that you're trying to do. Really a lesson, Provide space of pristine listening to really help them just, Share the ideas, because a lot of times they may not have the space to really be human, help them be, do, or have more of what they already do.

do you have them achieve a certain goal that they have to, help them to say time? Save money or make money that's Brendon's, advice, wherever you help other people make money. they, always, their ears perk up, make strategic introduction. They wouldn't have otherwise, Be able to, have, and, also share moments of relate-ability as well.

So these are some of the ways that we have talked about, ways to add value in people's lives. Anything else you would like to add

you,

did very well. That was, that was all good. The making the money, helping them save time, introductions. Those are all great ways. I do want to share again, the relationship side and I wasn't thinking about a significant other, one thing I do for my wife.

Because I do take her on a date every week in home in the house or taking them out to dinner. But I also write parcel notes to her. I'll do this a couple of times a week. I'll write a personal note, spend just, I love you. Or it's Hey, I'm grateful for you and everything we've done. Or sometimes it's more dedicated and I'll put it on the table or put it on the fridge.

I'm big on doing personal notes or sending things every once in a while, sometimes a video. Or something that's just different than lets that person know how much I care, words of affirmation and affirmation, but like saying, Hey, I love you or thank you for doing that. those are all different ways to add value and that's to my significant other and listening to these are ways to really build a really good relationship with somebody you love.

And, those same things can apply to family members too. but I think that's important and I, feel like I'm pretty successful at doing that for my, wife and I

happy wife. Happy life. Yeah. And then, for those of you listening five languages of love, tremendous, I, a simplistic model, but to me it's one of the most beautiful model that I've come across.

So really understand what your significant other's love language is, tremendously helpful. It can make or break your Lang, your, relationship. Brendon, and I want to be super respectful of your time. Do you have a few more minutes to answer perhaps some rapid fire questions? Awesome.

Very good. One deep question. Is there some rapid fire question? Okay. So you at a, unique position where you actually may your own documentary series, that's now published on, prime, Amazon prime, as well as a success in your city.com. So from that perspective, I'm curious to know what have you learned about the media business?

Because you had share already, what you learned personally. So I'm now curious about the business side and media. What have you learned about the media business after you have done the, the documentary series production?

Yeah, the person that creates the content, the producer, or the cinematographer that determines what the story shares and the beautiful thing about our show is.

We are catering to the value. We want to make the best stories for the people that are involved and tell our story in the most efficient, not efficient, but like a truthful way. And I don't have somebody like Netflix paying me a shit ton of money to do it in terms of the way that's going to be best for them.

But because of that, I'm very truthful. I'm sharing the real stories. Now, how does that relate to TV world? You look at media, you look at content, you look at news, they are auto agenda. There's different biases based on the channel that you listen to, whether Fox CNN who's paying to keep their lights off.

They're swayed by the people that are giving them money. So I don't even watch the bullshit news because it's in an agenda to cater to the people that are giving them money. And so just know that you see anything on TV, you question, the morning shows all that stuff. Like I want to know what's the real truth behind it.

And so as a TV producer, how I look at media now is I want to know the truth behind it, who funded it, that determines what's going to be on the content and catered towards, and what's their agenda. What is their goal with it? And I'm proud of the fact that what we're doing. Is real cocky or we're really sharing something to, advance people's abilities, to achieve their own version of success.

Not everybody else can say that in the world we live in because they're doing something that is really to advance either themselves or to help the people that are paying them to get wealthy.

Yeah. watch Ashley, the first episode of the series, and I have to say for those of you who are listening and watching.

I sense the care, right? The tender, loving care that you actually put into making the show. And as you said, the truth of really showcasing your, subjects, so beautifully. So for those of you who are curious about the human story behind these, entrepreneurs who are passionately seeking purpose and fulfillment and joy and meaning.

definitely check out the show. That's something that I got

it, sir. Go in the direction. You were expecting it to go, Oh, what did the answer I gave you go in the direction of what you were expecting it to go.

Oh yeah, no, it was great. It was perfect. So essentially from making a show, you've seen the reality even better, right?

You were able to Pierce the veil a bit about, Hey, what's behind a lot of these media productions. yeah, I appreciate that. Thank you. All right. So some rapid fire questions. Now, what movies have changed the way you look at reality?

Oh, I love it. man, that is a really good question. The movies that changed the way I look at reality.

huh, you stumped me there. let me think here. I'm just popping out. Whatever comes to my head, something like avatar and avatar shows you the potential of what the reality could be. in the future. if we did go to an airplane or some else that, or I hear black mirror here. Shows you really what our future is at or going to become.

And so that makes me look at things in a different way. That gives me a different approach to my work in terms of AI technology advancements. and then I'm trying to think of one that a movie that's inspired me. I'm more inspired by actors. You know how the, this is why I love looking in the actor space or film is certain actors, how they say things would become a character and become one with it.

You remember those moments that inspire you as a person is what's makes you like, want to do something with your life. So some actors over the years, like I look at Tom cruise has been good in some movies. who else? Brad Pitt. there's a couple others I'll think of, but they're just people that based on how they took on that, Matthew McConaughey, based on how they took on that role, it inspired me to go do something with my own life.

Thank

you.

That was good question I've ever had.

Hey man. you gotta keep your toes, so yeah. what's your definition of purpose?

Definition of purpose is doing things that mean the most to me. And I feel like actually making an impact on people's lives, while doing it. So doing meaningful things that are actually helping people and advancing our world, advancing our civilization, advancing people.

Beautiful. Thank you. What's your definition of fulfillment?

It would be doing things that I really love doing and doing it the highest level that I believe I can do and constantly getting better at it. And that's in business, that's in my relationships. That's in anything I take on trying to become the best I can be and, using that to help others.

That's fulfilling.

Beautiful. What is your definition of wealth?

it's having the, Billy to do what you please to do on your own terms. And, wealth is beyond the dollar sign is very important to have monetary terms of money, but also your health. And your relationships. So the wealth in all areas, not just one area, how are you feeling?

How are you performing? How are your relationships? And also what are your abilities to be able to acquire things that you

Beautiful. I love that. What do you do to not take yourself too seriously?

Do crazy shit. just be very random sometimes. And, just share the real life of, how things are.

Try not to act too, like serious in terms of I got this figured out. that's what I do. And I, also, go home and, I have fun. So I'll go shoot guns. I'll go. My parents' cabin. I'll go do small town things that. That makes me see life at the place where it used to be, where I don't have every day anymore.

I love that. Thank you. in the last five years, what new belief, behavior or habits have most improved your life,

beliefs or habits that improve my life

that most improve your life? Yeah.

the, belief, or I would say the, habit of doing things that are really what I want and not doing it because of getting a dollar, or because of making somebody else happy. So really just doing things that I really just want myself and, that's just living on those terms. And then, Also truly, actually wanting to help other people four years ago, I would say, 2016 going into 17.

I was, I wanted to help people, but I also had a side of me That's doing it for the buck and I was trying to get any deal I can, but now it's more of, I just, I really want to help people. And that changed a lot for me in terms of, how I look at different things that I take on and how I communicate to the world in terms of who I am.

Beautiful. Thank you.

for your younger self or for anyone who is going through their dark night of the soul moments to belly of the whale moments, the, identity crisis moments. What would you tell them right now? Now

two books to read one, think and grow rich by Napoleon Hill. That book, help me get through some dark times too.

The reason why we wrote the book, the road to success is to share with you the moments that we had going on when the world thought that our lives are in a perfect place. And we're filming this show and traveling the country. most people didn't realize that we were close to bankruptcy. My wife is dealing with depression.

We had all these obstacles going on in our life. This book helps you understand that we're all going through these obstacles. It makes us feel not so alone. Also shows you the true, like what it takes to achieve a monumental achievement in life, whatever that may be for you. so I'd say, go read those two books and also just know if it doesn't kill you, it, will make you, it like it's, fine.

Like your decisions. People think the world is going to end. If I don't get this deal or the rule it's going to end. If I don't get this my way. No, it's not the world's going to end. If you get shot in the fucking head, If it doesn't kill you, it's not that big a deal. And for me, one quick story, I think I'm glad I'm this perked my memory on this.

When in 2000. 13, I was working for a company called Arctic glacier ice, and I was working in the family business Adam's eyes. I was selling real estate. I was working a hundred hour weeks and I was managing about 50 people for the one company. And I had no life. I was working, and, what happened is one day I hit a brick wall.

I was driving down the road. And my, I was starting to become feeling really weird and fuzzy in my eyes say it was like that I pulled over and then my body took over and it like basically shut down. The ambulance came and I was in the ambulance and it was because of exhaustion, stress, not sleeping much.

And like that night I looked at my life and I thought, dude, This is, what am I doing? Like I'm working non-stop and what's life about doesn't matter how much money I have my account. And then two months later, what happened is I had a friend that died in a car accident and never seen him in the casket.

And I'm just thinking to myself like the kid's 21, like his life sober. And, so that, changed how I looked at life. It needed to realize that. A business deal going wrong. You go, even if you do go bankrupt or you have some very low moment in your life, if it doesn't kill you, then who fucking cares at that day because that experience made you stronger.

And because of that, I don't take things too seriously. And I don't, stress anymore. I don't.

I love that. Thank you. So knowing what you know now, what's, the definition? What does it mean to live a good life?

Meaning to live a good life is again doing what you love. challenging yourself.

Being around people that you enjoy being around. And if you don't enjoy being around somebody, then get them out of your life. You don't need to cater to them. and in doing something more purposeful, doing something of purpose and liking it and we need to advance if we're not getting better or die.

if we're not actually improving ourselves our mental skills and are achieving bigger goals, then we're living a mediocre life. That's boring and we're not actually fulfilled. And to going like what success means to me or anybody else. The first question is ask yourself what success means to you.

And by the way, it's changing as we go through different phases of our life. We right now success means to me is helping as many people as possible. Through inspiration, motivation education through my TV show through podcasting, through speaking, through coaching, through my events, through a books that is my success and always becoming the best version of myself mentally, physically, and in my work life.

And also with people. I love time with the people I love that is success to me. And that's now five years from now, you can ask me, it's going to be very similar, but there may be other things I want to focus on. Maybe I want to go do something else, but right now that's what success means to me. And that what's it.

That's what it means to be happy.

I love that. on that note, Brandon, I want to thank you so much for, being here. W we went through quite a journey, through our conversation in a way I talked about your origin stories, where I talked about some strategic way to cultivate a relationship with people where I talked about, what does it mean to live a good life, from their strategical level, All the way down to the tactical level, really, appreciate you dancing this conversation with me and really just show who you are as a, human being, not just the Emmy winning producer, but actually a real person, behind everything.

So thank you so much for just sharing. So generously with me. I'm in my audience here.

thank you for having me. It's been a fun journey and I got to say, it's the first show that I've done over two hours shows and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it.

 

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