Susan Harrow is a renowned media coach at PRsecrets.com. She is the author of the best-selling book, Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul. She has media trained thousands of CEOs, celebrity chefs, start-ups, speakers, entrepreneurs, and authors for Oprah, CBS’ 60 Minutes, The Today Show, Good Morning America, etc
We Talked About:
- How she coaches introverted CEOs who resist going on shows to shift their context
- How she coaches her clients to remained composed during even the toughest questions on tv
- The 3 questions she asks herself whenever she isn’t sure if she should speak her mind
- Her methodology to finetune her clients’ target audience and messaging
- How to connect with the audience whether they are on zoom or live in the studio
- How to adjust your talk on the fly
- We talked about her spiritual practices right before she gets on any shows
Please enjoy my conversation with a renowned media coach, Susan Harrow.
Wisdom QuotesThe philosophy of aikido is to turn your lead into gold Click To Tweet What's the kindest thing at the moment. 1)Do I need to say this? 2)Do I need to say this now? 3)Am I the right person to say it? Here's the thing: it's not my business. Whether somebody gets it or not. That that's number one. Click To Tweet We go through the worst-case scenarios so you can be relaxed Click To Tweet It's about connecting with yourself first and then saying those things that you connect with the audience. So if you're seeing people in the audience smiling about you, you're connecting together Click To Tweet Whenever you get nervous, stop, breathe, and ground. Think about your feet, going deep, deep, deep into the earth. Recenter yourself. It just takes a second, but it is a practice. And then come back to your purpose. Click To Tweet Media training is a lot like improvisational jazz. Click To Tweet The practice is getting back to our naturalness. Be relaxed enough to be in that state. So things flow perfectly, which they will. It's not outside yourself, it's inside yourself. It's not manifestation manifesting, which is outside. It's… Click To Tweet Whenever you wonder what your message is...we have to start way back to: Who you are, what do you stand for? What are your values? What do you want to accomplish and why? What's your big vision? And what is it that you want to do with the… Click To Tweet Your mission through it's through people or through your events or through whatever it is that you're doing. It's not about you. Click To Tweet
Transcript by AI
From (Almost) Being Sold as a Slave to Aikido Blackbelt to Renowned Media Coach
Welcome to noble warrior. My name is CK Lynn noble warriors went interview multi-dimensional entrepreneurs about their spiritual disciplines. What deconstruct a mindset, mental models, actionable tactics. So you can take them to engineer your life, your business with more impact and fulfillment via VM, any entrepreneurial friends who could use more inspiration and more permission to be who they are.
[00:00:22] Go ahead and share this episode with them. They'll thank you for it.
[00:00:26]My next guest is Susan Harrell. She's a renowned media coach. I PR secrets.com. She's the author of the bestselling book. Sell yourself without selling your soul.
[00:00:36] She's media trained thousands of CEOs, celebrities, chefs, startups, speakers for Oprah. CBS is 60 minutes to today's show. Good morning America, et cetera.
[00:00:47]We talked about how she coached introvert CEOs who resist going on shows , how she coaches had clients to remain calm and composed doing even the toughest questions on TV.
[00:00:58]The three questions I should ask herself whenever she's unsure, whether she should speak her mind. And methodology to fine tune her client's target audience and messaging, how to connect with the audience, whether they're on zoom or live in the studio, how do you adjust your talk on the fly to meet what the audience needs?
[00:01:18]We talked about her spiritual practices right before she'd get on any shows. Please enjoy my conversation with renowned media coach, Susan Harrow. Welcome Susan Harris. Great to meet you all. Thank you so much for being here, Susan. It's my pleasure. I'm thrilled. I. Want to jump right into it in your bio, you had shared about the time that you almost got into slavery. I mean, I can't like, that's just such an openness.
[00:01:50] Please share with us how you went from. That experience to Ikea, to black belts to where you are. So just paint us a little bit of a, a hero's journey there. Yeah. So, you know, I think that whenever we have these kinds of, whenever we travel, we have these amazing experiences, right. That sort of take us out and Mark us for the future.
[00:02:14] That's what's so. Beautiful about travel and talking about those kinds of things. So, you know, that was an experience where I don't know if he wanted me to actually go into it to say what happened or should I just like go, I think, maybe go right into, I KIDO. Um, whatever you like, whatever you like to jump into.
[00:02:36] because to me that was, um, that was a really transformative experience right here in, you know, in California. And I started. I Quito, I didn't even know about it, but it was, uh, it was, I know you talk a lot about synchronicity. So there was a series of synchronicity of events where a woman was mentioning a particular leadership practice.
[00:03:00] And that would just like lit up for me with a mentor. And what I did was, um, immediately we were, we were sort of on a little mini yoga retreat at a friend's house. And as soon as I got home, I looked up that person. It was, um, Richard's Josie heckler. Who has, um, a leadership practice, which is all physically based.
[00:03:21] There's no PowerPoint, it's all movement. And it's based in Ikea. And I jumped on a call group call with him and really felt like, um, I connected with wanting to be trained in more body-based leadership. I didn't know it was about Ikea. And so, um, I listened to that and then I, um, I asked to interview him.
[00:03:48] For the Huffington post, but I had never written for the Huffington post, said, I want to write a piece on you at the Huffington post, figure it out. I'll figure it out later. Not knowing how hard it was at that time. They weren't having general people just write. You had to go through a whole process and write, and I said, you don't get to write an article.
[00:04:07] I mean, your posts, can I interview you? So I interviewed him. Yeah. That's like, hootspa like just, I'm going to go for it. Right, exactly. I thought I'll figure it out later. That's kind of, that's part of my future selfing too. It's like when I was training teaching at like the learning annex or teaching. I set the class and then figured out how to teach it later.
[00:04:28] So it's like, this is what I'm going to teach. And then I, and then I would, um, you're a true entrepreneur. I love it. Yeah. So, um, he invited me up to his dojo and said, well, why don't I show you some of these practices? And then I went there and, and I. I had never asked anybody to be my mentor before, and I didn't even know what that meant.
[00:04:49] And I said, you know, I want you to be my mentor. I don't know what that means. Can we work something out? And we actually decided to do a trade. Um, then there was, they were having the very first Ethiopian. Um, guy getting his black belt to take it back to like teach gangs and stuff in Ethiopia. I KIDO and I saw him do his black belt test and it was so beautiful.
[00:05:15] And so moving. I mean, I was just, I was like, I was transported to another. State and, you know, wooden knife and just the flowing and it was, and he was so beautiful. I mean, you could just see, he was like this beautiful person inside and out, very tall and Regal. Like he was all no black. He was a Nobel warrior.
[00:05:33] Right. And so I decided on the spot that, um, I wanted to do train an IQ, but little did I know how arduous it would be? I'm an athlete. I played tennis, you know, as on the boy's tennis team and teaching tennis pro you're, captain of my volleyball team, number one of my Bandman team always considered myself an athlete.
[00:05:56] And then I get on the ICU floor and I'm a dork. Complete stepping on people's toes, not knowing what to do. And I was so uncoordinated, nobody really wanted to train with me. There's a protocol in Ikea where you usually you're on your knees and then you, when the, the teacher shows demonstrates the technique and then you bow to the person next to you, and then you start to train well people because I was so.
[00:06:28] Klutzy and people are usually really nice and a dojo, but I was so klutzy that people would get up and run to grow playing with someone, no uncertain terms. It wasn't even subtle. It was just like, Nope. I don't know. And it was settled and I was completely mortified. I mean, I was thinking every night that I wanted to train, I was thinking I would go through this thing.
[00:06:54] Like, I'm going to be rejected. You know, it was like all of those things, like I don't get it, I'm going to be rejected, but I was so fascinated by it. It was like the biggest love, hate relationship every night. After class in the car, I would go to my car and cry, never cry. I've never cried on the dojo floor, even when I was training for my black belt test and I was working with, um, fifth degree or sixth degree black belt, and he actually clocked me with, uh, With, uh, um, Joe, I mean, I was almost knocked out and I'm like, I'm not crying.
[00:07:32] I'm going to put ice on my head, you know? Um, so never cry on the dojo floor, but they cried every pretty much every night because it was so difficult and it brought joy. What kept you going though, in spite of all that physical pain or even emotional pain, you know, total internal resistance of inadequacy, like beating yourself up and all of that stuff.
[00:07:59] Like what kept you going? Yeah. And do it, you know, but it was with me, it was more like, you know, there's the self-analysis and the, and the. The difficulty in being so clumsy and thinking, you know, just being on the dojo floor and, and I Quito, there's no way you can hide. And while my practice and media training is all about not hiding, like showing yourself there, we can, we still have methodologies to hide, but on the ICO floor, there is no where to hide.
[00:08:33] Um, so I think that that all of my issues came up too. So you asked me what kept going. It was the most fascinating practice and the philosophy of Ikea is, um, turn your lead into gold. And that's what I wanted to do. Um, I could see all my lead, you know, and I thought I have a lot of lead here. That can be transformed on the ICU floor in, into gold.
[00:09:01] Um, and so it's every it's, I mean, everything comes up where, for example, if somebody grabs you too hard and, um, You know how to let them know without being bossy or, you know, somebody who's, you have to protect yourself, you have to protect others. Like it's, it's sort of everything. And, you know, even when you'd have beginners, when I became a black belt, I would have beginners telling me what to do and you go.
[00:09:30] Okay. Um, I can handle this a number of ways. I can, you never want to shame anyone, but it's like, you also want to share protocols and how we train. But my philosophy also is like, just this have anything to teach me. Are they right? Do I, uh, is this something that can help me? Um, or is it, is it a time when I need to share a lesson and say actually on the dojo floor?
[00:09:56] You don't give instruction to another student unless it's asked for yeah. W what, you're, what you're sharing here. I want to underline this real quick. So in, uh, in the Chinese culture, there's a lesson that's passed down. Basically say, why are you in Navy?
[00:10:14] Fun is on the inside is rectangular. Uh, you know who you are by on the outside circular. As a way to play nice right. To, to do, to be cordial with everyone else. So he said, what you're talking about here is actually navigating that space of being grace as at the same time, knowing who you are and delivering who you are to others bordering the message.
[00:10:38] Like there was one kid, he was very tall. He grew really fast. He was, um, a very add and at one point he wasn't paying attention. So I hit him. Not hard, but I thought that was more effective than saying , if you don't pay attention, I'm going to throw you and you could get hurt. So I just, just hit him really lightly because that was the kindest thing to do in the moment to bring him here, you know, and for the rest of the lesson, um, he was.
[00:11:12] There and paying attention because it was dangerous to him if he did it. Hm. I like that. What's the kindest thing in the moment. I think that goes for everything particularly like as for all of us, what's the kindest way that we can handle the situation. I was just reading, I'm rereading some of my notes with, um, I think it was Atlanta van Zandt who said, um, Do I need to say this?
[00:11:43] Do I need to say this now? Am I the right person to say it? And I thought those were really interesting questions in terms of verbal, especially for women in verbal self-defense too, like, um, Who is on the receiving. We always have to think about who is on the receiving end of it. And what is the consequence and the conclusion?
[00:12:05] What, what do we actually want to achieve through that communication and on the ICU floor? It's um, When you're throwing someone, you want to have that spot in mind of where you're throwing them. You have to be very intentional about it because you also have to protect them. You can't throw them, everybody's throwing at the same time.
[00:12:22] So if we could throw it's dangerous, so you can throw somebody into another person. So you always have to be aware, not only of what you're doing, but if the other person and I mean just way to throw them, um, to not hurt them. I mean, that's the philosophy of Ikea as well. It's, um, To do the least harm to your opponent, even if someone is attacking you.
[00:12:45] Hmm. Do you, if you don't mind going to that, I mean, does a lot of life lesson just right there where you just share, what is the kindest thing, and then being environmentally aware at the same time, not too purposefully have the maximum damage to your opponent, which is very different than let's say the MMA war, right?
[00:13:06] The whole point of you want to destroy the other person versus I Quito is about the practice. So I'm curious to know. This is more life philosophy. I'm just more inquiry. One person's point of view is more about like the social justice warrior, right? Let me, you know, if it's not me who say this, this person will never learn the lesson.
[00:13:30] Let me just exert myself. Versus what you share is what is the kindest way. You know, the social site, this person received the message. And if it does person doesn't necessarily receive the message and perhaps you don't say it per se. Right. So I'm curious to know how you navigate that space, especially this is, you know, the verbal, the words, this is your craft.
[00:13:53] So I'm curious to know as a warrior, then what warrior with words, what, where do you stand on that? Do you just. Boom, let me deliver justice because if it's not me then who, uh, or what's the kindest way that I deliver this. Yeah, I wish I could say that I was always doing it the quietest way. Um, here's the thing, it's not my business.
[00:14:21] Whether somebody gets it or not. That that's number one. And I think in media training, the number one thing is, you know, not to take things personally, but also, um, there's only one person that we can control on that ourselves. And that's a really big job and it's an ongoing process throughout our lifetime.
[00:14:40] Right. So. You're never trying to control another person. And, um, it's the same in , but in, in like media training, when you're, when you're on TV or a podcast like this, I'm not trying to direct you. And what you asked me, you can ask me anything and I'm going to answer what I want. Um, however I go, you gave you, you are gracious and gave me the Liberty.
[00:15:02] Not everybody will. And certainly at the higher levels of TV, you know, um, reporters and hosts can be very pointed, but the whole training of media training and Ikea, whatever that is, is to, um, to master yourself. And to say, only what you came to say to the audience in the way that you believe that how you want to serve.
[00:15:27] So I think the intentionality is first. What's my deepest intention. How do I want to serve? And then words come from that. And in, in my media training practice, I asked that question first, what's your deepest intention? How do you want to serve? What's your big vision? And then number two. What do you want for yourself personally, professionally, physically, financially, spiritually, emotionally.
[00:15:49] Um, and then the last question and what I'm asking you there, because media can give you the whole world, it can give you connections to people. It can give you financial success. It can give you, you know, emotional, happiness, whatever it is that you're looking for. But we want to be very clear about that.
[00:16:06] And then the third thing is what do you want your audience to do? Like, what is the purpose? Of your, it's not to be famous it's to grow your business or to expand your horizons or, you know, whatever, if you're on a book tour or you've got a 10 new technology that you want to get into the world to help people, whatever that is.
[00:16:29] But like, what then do you want them to do? Are they. Visiting your brick and mortar store. Are they coming to your website and buying a program or a course, or are you getting more speaking engagements, whatever that is, we're very intentional about it. And then you to let that go and to only be in this as Ikea media training, you know, in a podcast interview or whatever, to just let go of all of that and to.
[00:16:56] Prepare and plan and practice. So you can be free to be spontaneous. And those are the kinds of things that. Um, and that's why we do role-play, you know, we actually do the actual situations because you don't know how you're going to respond. Like I can go through mentally all the time, what I want to do on the mat and I watch videos and then you're actually on the mat and you've got somebody else's body up against yours and it's a whole different.
[00:17:21] It's a whole different thing and the media is the same. It's like you can practice and then the hot lights of the TV, or, you know, we're doing a countdown, are you ready? Boom. The camera's on there's people out there and you know, how do you respond now when you're asking me questions, maybe that I wasn't prepared for.
[00:17:36] Yeah. Uh, quick recap. Okay. So what you said your framework in terms of working with people who are thinking about even media at all, is what's your intention right now? How are you serving the audience? Number one, and then what is the intended outcome that you want financially, relationally reputationally and all these things for you.
[00:17:58] And then. Uh, and what was the third? I can't remember. We want your audience to do what is, what is the call to action and then have all that, you know, uh, intentionality in your head, train, train, train, train, train, such that you can. On the floor with, with lights on, uh, throw away the plan and just being flow.
[00:18:22] Is that a rough, is that accurate reflection? Always. Yes. And I do want to say yes, you can be in the flow, but if you haven't done the practice, if you haven't done that, The 10,000 repetitions, um, what happens in our brain? And I know you're a scientist, is that when we get nervous and cortisol kicks in, it blocks our short-term memory.
[00:18:45] That's why you want it ingrained in mental and muscle memory. So whether you're on the. Guy Quito floor doing physical repetitions or you're in a role play situation where you've gone through where I have shouted at you or put you on the spot or asked you crazy questions that you, you know, that you, that we go through the worst case scenarios.
[00:19:06] So you can be relaxed and those can be personal questions. Those can be professional questions, just anything to throw you off. And can you come back to center and like you and I just did some breathing. So everything is about the breath and not everything, but I mean, the breath is when we get thrown off center to take the breath to ground, to settle, to come back to center at all at all times, you know?
[00:19:33] So it's not that we won't get thrown off no matter how skilled we are. And the founder of Ikea said this, it's not that I don't get thrown off center. It's just, I get back to center so fast. You don't see me. Yeah. And that's the eventual goal, right? Like sometimes, you know, when you see people on TV and they're frozen or they've been shocked.
[00:19:52] Right. And that's fine. Like if that happens, like all of a sudden, you know, when you're like stunned, you're like, what? Right. You can still, you have your moment of shock. You take a breath, you go to, you get back to center and you save what you came here to say, Yeah.
[00:20:08] Actually. I'm curious, after working with thousands of people, be on TV, on the spotlight, you know, I, my mind personally, for me, it's not okay. I don't even want to go there.
[00:20:25] You are there you're there. So we can come back to that in a moment. But what I wanted to ask you is, is this, what is the worst? I guess that the most intrusive questions and the most shocking thing that, you know, some reporter or some journalists would just say, and then what's the, you know, what, how do your, um, client respond?
[00:20:51] Yeah, I love that question because there've been so many, um, questions. I did have, uh, a client on Fox news at one point where it was a very, I can't tell you what the situation was, but it was a, it was a very, um, controversial situation where some people had died. And for her, I had media training. He was very skilled and, and we had worked for a couple of years and, um, there was no warmup.
[00:21:18] She was just like, You were this person's mentor at one point he's responsible for these people dying. How do you feel about that?
[00:21:32] Right. And so we had rehearsed a whole number of points about how one is responsible for oneself and, you know, so we had rehearsed those. So he was able to stay even with that. And she asked it really aggressively too. So the tone was. Very aggressive. It jumped right in, you know, usually a host is going to warm you up, at least with the first question, you know, typically even an uncontroversial, they may not be as sharp.
[00:22:02] Mm, everybody's different, but we had already, role-played all of that, all of that worst case scenario. So we had done all the worst case scenarios for that particular situation, because there was also legal implications. We needed to do things in a certain way. So we have one, all of that. Um, Bye now, other situations, when you asked me, um, what do I do for each person?
[00:22:23] It's very individual because they have their own individual stuck points and personality triggers. And that's what we want to locate. Like what trips you up? What throws you off? What kind of questions are hard for you? So with each person it's, um, it's, um, it's different, you know, and so it could be something really personal and typically, um, Men hosts will be more aggressive and pointed and maybe like a bill O'Reilly.
[00:22:53] I would train people to be on bill O'Reilly and 60 minutes. So those more pointed and energetically, very cutting and direct women. Oftentimes the question will be more, uh, invasive. Or invasive, it means more intrusive or personal. So I might say to you, so a question that I might say to you that would be completely inappropriate, you know, like CK, um, how has your sex life this week?
[00:23:30] How many people have you slept with or like Howard stern type questions? Yeah. Yeah. And I had a client on Howard stern who asked, I think he was asking her, what's your bra size talking about? So this is about transitioning, you know? So we, we talked about like, what's your bra size. And so I'm so happy you asked about that because was the biggest questions that a woman has in breast cancer is.
[00:23:54] How's my bra gonna fit. And she was talking about like death and breast cancer. We just transitioned right into it. It's like, yeah, that's a big concern for me and other women. And you know, so again, this is an Ikea technique. You're not resisting it. You're not going, like, I'm not going to tell you about my process.
[00:24:09] It's like, how can you go with it and transition to what you want to say? That's important to the audience, I suppose. Appreciate that. So, as you're speaking, the parallel processing in my mind, the image in my mind is it's, it's really like a dojo training because you just, the whole idea is you train, train, train, but then during sparring and the actual fights, then you're able to basically take anything in do yes.
[00:24:34] And. It's not like I'm going to walk you because then everything rather is. Yes. And then you use IQ two techniques. You used a momentum and it redirected elsewhere because to me, that's grace in display grace emotion. If I say no, I don't want to answer that. That's okay. But you kind of. You know, the interview energy, which is you don't look as graceful.
[00:25:03] The thing I was so not graceful on the Ikea floor. I mean, very graceful to me. You're very sweet. I appreciate that. I'm going to take that compliment. And that's another thing that, um, is very hard for many of us is to receive. To receive that compliment. And if you don't take that in and create that energetic circle, you're stopping all that good energy, because I know, you know this from science, I think it's 10.
[00:25:32] We have to hear 10 great things to counteract one negative one. And usually we let the negative one stab in our heart and stay. And we always remember it, but the compliment, like I'm going to remember this compliment. CK said I was graceful, you know, and see if I can. Expand that like, well, where else?
[00:25:52] Cause there are other places in life where I am graceful. I am a graceful tennis player, you know? Um, you know, I am a graceful Walker. I, you know what I am, I am graceful watering my plants around the house. So I want to like reinforce that, that goodness that you've just said too. So I would take what you say and, and see if I can multiply it.
[00:26:14] And that's how we, um, That's how we train ourselves and train our minds too, right. Like to, to really be aware of what's happening. And even me saying that I'm not graceful, um, puts that out there. Right. I'm not perfect. I do, I do it all the time, myself. And it's about recalibrating. Like we just did together.
[00:26:38] So perfectly example, I'm sure your clients, especially if they're new to the whole idea of being in front of camera, you know, my, I actually include myself totally in that realm still. I'm not comfortable speaking in camera, even though I do it a lot. And I'm more comfortable now than let's say a few years ago.
[00:26:56] Um, the question I have for you is. People tend, especially high performers, right? The overachievers. They tend to be very, very critical of themselves. So how do you coach them? So shad, they can't pay attention to what they're doing, right. Versus like, Oh my God, I don't sound like. Susan R a C K or whoever they're admire on media and say, look at that person, that, that person is so good.
[00:27:21] I'm so not that I hate my voice. I hate the way I look, I have this weird Twitch or whatever. Like how do you, how do you gently guide them towards positive reinforce rather than like, Oh my God, this is not for me. I don't want to do this. Okay. So I have this, I had this client, um, very high performer and, um, she had never, she, she had given like one talk at her.
[00:27:51] A clinic. And we were, I was preparing her for 1440 and you know, we were talking and we were working in her. This was before COVID working in her living room. I was showing her, um, how to use her body, how to use the stage, how to interact with the audience. I mean, because she really never done this before.
[00:28:09] And this was after we had crafted this talk into 20, 20 minutes. Right. And she said to me, when we were in our kitchen, Oh my God, you think I'm ever going to be any good at this? And I'm like, this is your top number two. And I said, and this is funny. I mean, she was phenomenal. Of course she was so gracious and cordial and fluent.
[00:28:32] And when she gave her talk at 1440, she said, Oh my God, I could see that. I was like the only one who was media trained. There and, you know, and she wasn't perfect. No, of course not. But what, you know, because she doesn't have the experience yet of even like knowing, but she was really energetically connected to the audience.
[00:28:53] Like you could see where they were connected with her, where they laughed, where she said things that were connected. And so when we watched that, um, I said, here's what you did. It's about pointing out. Here's what you did, right? And here's where you connected with the audience and to start becoming aware of your own skills.
[00:29:14] So we always look at what did you do right first? So this is after I let people criticize themselves because they have to that's that, you know? So usually you don't to stop them. You just let them go. Right. I left home. You didn't have to get it out. It's like, and sometimes that comes first. It's like, I need to say it, like all the horrible things that I did.
[00:29:35] I'm like, God, if I get out. Let's talk about it, you know, get it all out. And then I'm like, okay, now can you get, that has to come first. What did you do well and what do you want to keep? And then all those things that they said that they wanted to change, that they didn't like about themselves. Those are the things that we work on and it's an iterative process.
[00:29:52] Um, and it's an, it's a process that you can do obviously in front of your webcam. If you're doing. Broadcast or podcast, but everything is video now. Right? So turn on your webcam people. Yeah. And start to see what happens. Like I'm a slow blinker. I can't do anything about that. That's do I like, hold on. I'm a slow blinker blee.
[00:30:16] That's a thing. That's a thing you criticize yourself about what it's like, you know, the way I blinked. So I'm not going to worry about that. Okay. Okay. You, you know what I'm saying? What I can't, I have to focus on what I can change my pattern, unless you're rapidly blinking. Like when you're nervous, like I have some clients who would frown or blink really fast.
[00:30:43] Yes. We're going to work on those things because what you do under pressure, we want to see what happens under pressure because, um, oftentimes people are completely different when they're under pressure. And that's what we want to see. What's your default. What happens with the pressure? Like you were talking about twitches or weirdo things that people do they might smack or frown or whatever it is that they do.
[00:31:08] We want to see it and say, Oh, this is what happens. This doesn't happen when you're relaxed, but this is what's happening when you're under pressure, let's be aware of it. And then just that inner process. So if we're. Like we are now I'll say, um, I'll just say frown. So you start to become aware of it, like frown and then, and then I'll also do the same when you're doing something well, you know, and I'll say, you know, you just smiled appropriately.
[00:31:38] I feel really warm. I feel connected. That's, you know, let's keep you smiling during that part of what you're talking about. Yeah. So I have a question. Okay. That's that's used a younger CK as an example. I remember the days when I was fresh in Toastmasters. Uh huh. Just general people, right? This is totally nervous.
[00:32:02] And the people will say, Hey, you're not smiling. You, you look like a robot. So I will go like this. Because I just couldn't connect like mechanically how to do it subconsciously. I just didn't relate to that. So how do you help them in addition to the mechanics? Cause right now you're really natural smiler, right?
[00:32:28] Like you smile naturally. So we want to say what makes you smile? Petting a dog. Like I love dogs. I love animals. It makes me super smell. So what can you get? I was working with a CEO of a, um, national, um, magazine and he was a little wooden. He was very accomplished triathlete and, you know, super accomplished, um, in many areas and he was kind of wooden and I was there with his marketing person.
[00:32:58] And he in conversation before we were actually turning on the camera, he had been talking about his daughter and I think it was a youngest daughter, but one of his daughters, like really, you know, he really, um, was talking about her. And so I said his favorite. Yeah, his favorite. I got it. It's David. I didn't want to say that.
[00:33:19] Um, his favorite daughter and I said, um, Think about your daughter and what you just were, you know, the latest thing that you just did with her, that you were so happy about. And then we turned on the camera. So he was in that natural state. And then the other thing is that you want your. Face everything that you do say are, and think to be in alignment from your words to your website, to your facial expression, to your body language.
[00:33:47] So if I'm talking about something happy, I love petting dogs. I naturally smile. You smile too, because you were, you felt it from me. That's what happens if I'm talking about, um, the mob that stormed the capital, I'm not going to be smiling because that's congruent with the information. So I think that if you're crafting a talk, you have places in it where, you know, that make you happy and that smile you smile.
[00:34:16] So you can connect with the audience. So it's about connecting with yourself first and then saying those things that you connect with the audience. So if you're seeing people in the audience smiling about you, your also your connecting together with that experience and science wise. When we tell stories and we sync up our brain sync together.
[00:34:40] So when we start to tell stories, you and I are already getting, we're already sinked. That happens. So to already know that you're sinked with people, I think is really helpful. You're not separate, you're not sinked. And I remember one of my clients was leaked like Stein who created speaking circles. I don't know if he ever did a speaking circle.
[00:35:02] Oh, well, it's, it's a speaking circle is where you don't prepare anything. You stand up and you speak, it's terrifying for most people, right? Because I'm not going to prepare anything, but you speak from your heart, but you also speak from spontaneity about anything in that moment.
[00:35:19] So it's enormously helpful for people to be and the people who are on the receiving end of it. You don't give any kind of approval or response. You just give that person complete acceptance. That's something that is so rare for us. So sometimes people just cry just feeling that. And you also have the opportunity not to say anything.
[00:35:45] And I've done this with groups, like stand for one minute. If you don't want to say anything, just stand so uncomfortable. And like, you're just going to receive the audience's acceptance. One minute is a very long time to receive acceptance. Oh, so that leak, lik Stein had told me too, he had offered me, you know, to go to some of the seminars and I'm, I'm actually an introvert. I don't like groups. Okay, great. We have more in common. Fantastic. Oh, big time. I had no idea. Oh my God. You don't even know.
[00:36:24] So here we are two introverts who are trained extroverts. We're trained on this, right. So it's not comfortable. I'm so nervous before, you know, before. I mean, I had to run to the bathroom, you know, right before I always get really super nervous before any of these life doing this, like. More than 20 years.
[00:36:43] Yeah. We still get nervous. Yes. And to use that energy. But what I want to just think about back to that is I wasn't going to take that seminar. It was like a three or four day seminar, and I thought I terrified and I thought my client is offering me his free training free, um, in something that I'm really fascinated with.
[00:37:02] I, it would be, um, Not only ungracious, but again, it's stopping that energy of being gifted. And given that I really had, I don't even want to use the word obligation, but I had, it was necessary for myself to accept that, to keep that if that's what I say I want, and it comes to me and I say, stop, then I'm not going to keep getting what I want.
[00:37:29] Right. So I accepted, but when the thing that he said to me, even though I was so terrified is that. You, if you're terrified of speaking in front of an audience, you're thinking of yourself as separate. Yeah. Yeah. Uh huh. How, how many of us can think of it? Like we're taught like, Oh, we're, we're all one and all of that, but in practice, it's not that easy.
[00:37:55] No, that's a practice too, to stay. And my, one of my mentors Asara Lovejoy yesterday in our group call was saying, um, it's only one thing that she didn't say there was only one thing to be concerned with. But I think that this is if there was one thing, this is something that I practice every day and it is, um, loving myself, loving others, not easy at all.
[00:38:19] And I don't, don't pretend that this is an easy task. I love myself. And loving others, loving others, loving others. Um, um, what's his name? Charles Schultz said. Um, I love humanity. It's people. I can't stand in the peanuts commercial because we are people we are all difficult. Right. So we were practicing yesterday in our group, by the way.
[00:38:46] As I'm so glad you quoted, uh, peanuts. Yeah. The peanuts thing. Uh, just a quick, I don't want to digress too much, but, um, I'm uh, I and TJ by Myers-Briggs so my friend always remind me like, Hey you, I, and TJ people, you love humanity, but you really don't like individual humans. Yeah. There's some truth to that.
[00:39:07] There's some truth to that. People are not easy to love. I mean, that is just. Fact, you know, I mean, especially if you know, what's going on politically, um, right now, how not to hate w whoever is on the opposite of what we believe. Right. That is a, we ha we can all practice on that every single day. Right. So, um, what she was saying is that, um, I forgot the exact phrase, but it was like, um, Can I only have love in my heart if we come from that place.
[00:39:48] Um, it circumvents, what is some of the think of me because we're loving someone else first. And again, that is a practice because somebody, you know, bumps my cart in the grocery line or tries to butt in front of me, just first reaction, I might be pissed. Like, who do you think you are? Blah, blah, blah. And then can I have a polite response?
[00:40:11] Oh, excuse me. You know, Oh, excuse me. I'm not sure that you saw me in line. Oh, I saw you. I thought I was, you know, whatever that exchange might be, right. That comes in the first reaction might be. What do you think you are? You know, and to just notice that about yourself. So that's, that's a practice that I do every day.
[00:40:30] Okay. That might be my first response. And then I say, settle down and say, okay, what can be, take a breath? What's my second choice response. Can I respond to this in a different way? That's loving or more loving? Like if you can't quite get to loving, well, it could be a little more loving. Yeah. I mean, what you share is.
[00:40:51] So true. Um, however, I'm curious to know how you introduce these types of practices to your clients because they can't, they came to you for media training as what they want. Right. And ultimately, ultimately in my mind, I'm total agreement with you. How do you make sure that you step into a receptive setting audience first cultivating yourself love.
[00:41:16] So therefore you're not separate from your audience. Yeah. It's a good practice, right? How do you teach them what they need? You know what I mean? Yeah. So this wasn't a client of mine, but this was a call for, um, a potential client that just happened the other day. She's a black woman in business. In an all white world.
[00:41:37] And she said, um, she said, I, um, she was very natural with me and her voice and everything. I'm like, well, I'm not hearing what you're saying about being uncomfortable. And she said, Oh, it's in front of like, when I'm in an audience and I'm in front of the white gaze, it's an all white gaze and I'm a black woman and I get flustered.
[00:42:04] And I'm like, okay, I can totally underst I can, I can totally understand that. I totally empathize that. And you're thinking about what are people thinking of you. So that's the first thing that we need to reverse is not be thinking about what somebody else is thinking of you, but rather, what did I come here to give and stay focused on that?
[00:42:25] And again, TK, this is a process like, because, you know, But you need to stand in front of those hundred white people, maybe 10 at first or other people first to get the, what does it feel like to have a hundred white gazes on me as a black woman, and still be able to say what I came here to say, it's not something that necessarily is going to flip overnight, but it is a practice.
[00:42:49] How many times can I. And it is a moment by moment practice there you are talking. Oh, I'm self-conscious. I just had this experience yesterday. I'm going to finish with her and then I'll tell you about my experience. But so if you're thinking, if you go in there and you say, I have these points that I want to cover, they're really important that I want to connect to my audience and.
[00:43:10] This is what I want to give. And then in the middle of it, you're thinking, Oh God, a hundred people are staring at me and wonder if my stockings are, you know, something on my boobs coming out of my, you know, whatever, whether it's physical or it's like, they're hating me. They're not getting it. You take your breath.
[00:43:28] So it's all about breathing and then, you know, a practice. So with my clients, I train them, you know? Okay. Stop breathe ground. Think about your feet, you know, in the, you know, going deep, deep, deep into the earth, you know, recenter yourself. It just takes a second, but it is a practice. And then come back to your purpose.
[00:43:47] What are you here to speak about, to give and get back on track. So is the practice and I'm not going to pretend that it's easy. Right, but that is the practice of doing that over and over and over again, practice. So just yesterday I was giving a webinar and I could tell right away it wasn't landing because I had created it for consumers.
[00:44:14] And I was talking to PR professionals. And I just said in the middle of the thing, hold on, hold on. So topically, you intellectually knew that. How do you, what are they doing such that you receive? Okay. Whatever I'm saying, it's not landing. For them, you mean for the webinars that I just did? Yeah. Yeah. Um, well, it was a webinars, so I could only see a couple of people, you know, it was zoom or whatever.
[00:44:39] So I could only see a couple of people. It wasn't, they weren't, it was a feeling I knew because I'm a, I was a publicist before this and I was speaking to publicist. And as I was going through my material, which we had talked about ahead of time, I just realized like, this is not granular enough for them.
[00:44:56] So I did two things. I said, I'm going to skip ahead a number of these slides. Like I had to skip through a whole bunch of slides. Cause I'm like this isn't going to work. This isn't going to work. This isn't going to work. I said, um, And then I said, I have another document. I don't have it up. I'll need to, when you, you're asking questions about it, I'm going to pull it up that I think would be more appropriate for you that there's more granular.
[00:45:21] And then, but I did the best I could because I kind of had to follow my slides cause it was, you know, but it wasn't fun and I was terribly uncomfortable and I started thinking, Oh my God, I'm so not delivering on my promise. And I, I had that moment of like that sinking feeling and going like, and I'm embarrassing myself in front of my PR professionals, you know?
[00:45:45] And then I had to, and then there was somebody in the audience that I knew that was my peer. And I'm like, I know I'm shaming myself in front of her. And then I thought back to center, what am I here to do? I got to give these people value and prom, give what I promise. So I have to figure that out. How to do that on the spot.
[00:46:06] And I said, let's jump to Q and a I'm like, here's what I have. I go, let me answer your questions because, you know, uh, you know, and then we went to Q and a, and I got into my growth because it was like, I could spontaneously, you know, answer those questions and really be very specific in terms of helping them.
[00:46:27] But like half an hour, not good. Yeah. So, what I do in review is. You know, and then I wrote them a note, you know, the people who invited me saying like, Oh God, you know, acknowledging it. Like, this is what happened. I'm really sorry. And I hope I redeemed on the second half. And they said, yeah, you did. I got the email back this morning.
[00:46:53] Th thank you for using yourself as a example of what's it like to be in the dojo right in real time, how you actually. Near you lost control for a moment that you're able to regain control, regain, composure, regained sovereignty, and then really serve your highest good and deliver in that. Although a different format and different mechanism to serve the people that were on the webinar.
[00:47:19] Yeah. Yeah. I think what you share for anyone listening, who's even thinking about any kind of media exposure. Um, this is, this is life, right? Cause I would assert what you just share is, is one of the nightmare scenarios that they never want to step into. And I didn't think I was stepping into it. I was horrifying.
[00:47:40] Absolutely. Yeah. And by the way, It would have been way easier. Had I not had my slides too, because I was sort of married to the slides and so. To me. I mean, it's very easy for me to be spontaneous. I actually prefer that to a structured talk. Yeah. But most people don't, most people prefer the structured talk, but either way it doesn't matter.
[00:48:07] Right. So it would have been easier for me had I not had to sort of manage those slides too. I could have just managed myself and the information on the spot. But it's also about asking what you want, what you want. And I do want to share one other thing that happened to me. It was with Marsha weeder weeder.
[00:48:22] Who's the dream coach. Yeah. So I was, um, I went to one of her seminars. She had invited me as her guest and I had wanted to meet one of my clients who was attending that seminar. So I, I wanted to meet more. I had had I met Marsha before. No, I hadn't met her before. We'd just been on the phone. And then when we were there, Marsha said to me, Hey, do you want to come up and talk for 15 minutes?
[00:48:48] And it was insure shit.
[00:48:54] Oh shit, because you know, there's not people, I don't have anything prepared and I go running into the bathroom because I'm freaking out. No, because I have so much to say, I don't even know where to begin. And my, my friend, my client who I already adored came and she's like, are you all right? I go, yes, you need to be, leave me alone.
[00:49:12] So I need to just like, it was just breathing. I was just like meditating on the toilet. This is what I'm doing. I'm meditating on the toilet going, like, I need to focus. I need to, and then I thought, you know what? Um, I don't really want to stand up there and just talk for 15 minutes. I love in conversation.
[00:49:29] And so I went out to Marsha and I said, can we do this in an interview format? Can you just, we're both sitting on these stools on the stage. Can you just be asked me anything we want? And you know, I mean, you know, she's a great PR person. She knows what to ask. I said, just are you, I said, you know, you can ask me this, this and this or anything you want.
[00:49:47] And that's what we did. Hmm. So it's also about when you have those freak out moments you don't have to do with the other. Person's asking you, you can make a suggestion and say, what about this to something that you're comfortable with because I'm completely comfortable with that format. Yeah. Horrible.
[00:50:08] Trying to figure out how to everything. I know. How am I going to craft this into 15 minutes? Yeah. Uh, it reminds me of how Richard Branson rarely gives us solo speech. He's always being interviewed. I hate, I, I just don't, it's not my thing. I don't like it. I'm bored with myself and to give it over and over again, if I've given it three times, I'm like, Oh brother.
[00:50:31] You know, I'm just, it's just I'm. I like to do things differently every single time. And that's, that's not conducive to like paid speakers. We have like the same speech every time. And, um, it's just not my thing. If it's your thing, that's great client. Who's a speaker. I don't know how many she gets paid for now.
[00:50:47] It was $20,000 of talk at that time. And, um, he gave that speech like 345 days a year. Wow. The same. Wow. That's really interesting. Um, I guess we can go down that rabbit hole. It reminds me of a standby stand up comedian. How they just go on the road and just crafter talk and once they have the material and then we'll monetize it by selling it to Netflix, by doing a Netflix special, which I love.
[00:51:21] I love those. Yeah, I do as well. I'm a huge fan of comedy interest in general, but I wonder if there's a way to have similar model for speakers, but that's probably not for a conversation here. I'm curious. Have you have any thoughts there? I think there's two types of speakers. I really think that there's.
[00:51:39] Um, the type of speaker, that's my client that has it. Everything perfectly timed. Jerry Seinfeld does this too. I heard you referenced him in one of your other podcasts. Oh, nice. Thank you. Well, crafts, everything down to the second. So he has honed his craft in front of the audience and knows exactly when they're going to laugh and where to pause.
[00:51:58] So there's a science and a beauty. In that, you know, to have something down so much where you can predict people's behavior. That's really interesting. And my client obviously had that too, because he had certain things that he really, he was very physical acting out on, on the stage. Um, Then there was one of my other clients, who's a Sufi master and a doctor, a medical doctor.
[00:52:26] And we were talking, it was in my soundbite course and he kept asking me over and over, you know, Susan, what am I going to say exactly in my talk? You know, that his and his university was in danger of becoming unfunded. And so we needed money now. So he, I said, you. Um, Sufi master, you know how to read energy and you know how to read people.
[00:52:54] So yes, you craft your talk and then read the audience. So this is the other way, you know, craft your talk and know when to divert from your talk based on what's going on with the audience and how you can read the audience. If you're not a reader of the audience, and that's not for you, give your time talk and, and see where people respond and be scientific about it.
[00:53:16] So for him, he spoke and he said, Susan, there was a moment where I just needed to shift everything I meant to talk about. And I start talking about something different. And at the end of my talk, a person came up and wrote a check for me. He handed it to me for a hundred thousand dollars so I could keep my university.
[00:53:36] And then the second person came up and wrote me a second check for another a hundred thousand dollars. Wow. Yes. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing that beautiful. Because both ways work, you know, there's not one right way for you experiment and it may be a combo. Yeah. Uh, so on this podcast, we, uh, used a yin yang sign to illustrate the point that we're making a lot.
[00:54:03] So let me share this with you, uh, for the audience, listening and use what you share. As an example, the yang way is very directed, intentional scientific. The yang way is more of an inflow. And I think also what you share beautifully is he already as a master in his own domain. So he's not. Trying to remember things that you've learned, you know, last weekend.
[00:54:27] So that also makes it a lot easier and similar to your talk as well. Right. You already know the material you just needed to reshuffle in a way to best serve the audience. Is that right? Yes. Yes. I knew that material very well. Yeah. So I want to shift gear a little bit. And I want to also use this as a teaching moment for others.
[00:54:50] How did you refine on who is it that you want to help and how did you find. That message that you wanted to devote your life towards, or, and, or you can use yourself as an example, you can use your clients as an example, how did you help them find who their avatar, like, who they want to serve and how did you find them, help them find that message that you know, that it's theirs, you know, is their sole message that they share it, the world.
[00:55:21] So, um, How I did that for myself was that, um, when I was writing, sell yourself without selling your soul. I had a very young intern who, um, was starting, was helping edit the book. So he didn't know. What he couldn't could or couldn't do in my walk. And so when I was writing, sell yourself without selling your soul, my first editor, who was a woman said, Hey, you know what, you're not writing a lifestyle book.
[00:55:51] You're writing a book on PR. And I said, I beg to differ with you. I am writing a lifestyle book. I am writing about how you do PR is how you are and how you act in your life. It is a continuous stream. Thankfully she left, who objected my book and I got to work with the kids who didn't know what he couldn't ask for.
[00:56:13] So I got to write the book that I wanted and what I wanted and people up on Amazon might. One of my favorite interviews was a woman magazine editor said this book has helped me raise my children. This is the best parenting book I've ever read. Hallelujah. You know, I said mission accomplished. Um, cause I wrote sell yourself without selling your soul to, um, and this was many, many, this was right before nine 11.
[00:56:40] So it was, I think it was 2010 maybe earlier. I think it was actually earlier. Um, and I wrote it the book. So it has no sales sex. Um, war or sports jargon in it or aggressive jargon, because how we speak is how we think is how we are. And that really wasn't that much of a concept at that point. And the social entrepreneurship, um, thing didn't even exist.
[00:57:11] But, um, Harper Collins asked me, they want you to write my own catalog copy. And I wrote in there, Susan Herro, his leader is a leader in that, in the conscious, um, conscious business movement. There was no such thing and they printed it and I'm like, Oh my God, I didn't know. They were going to like, print my thing, word for word.
[00:57:30] And then publishers a weekly. Repeated, you know, so how powerful words are, what I wanted to do. My niche was people who were conscious businesses when that was not a word. It was people who are out in the world doing amazing things who actually have the ability to affect change, but they affect that change by themselves.
[00:57:52] By embodying it. My favorite saying from Gandhi is, um, you are the message, you know, That you are the message. So that's why I say everything you do say are, and think needs to be in complete alignment before you offer, because it's working on yourself, I've heard your podcast. It's like when people say they want to change the world, I'm thinking, well, are they, are they willing to change themselves?
[00:58:13] Because that's how you change the world, but, okay. So, so that's what you've have honed in on. My, my question was how did you land there? Was it more of an intuitive thing? Was it more that iterative practice? Was it more just, you know, I don't know why, but I'm meant to serve these people. How did you end up there?
[00:58:37] Well, I think it's the way I was raised. My dad was an orphan and someone put him through Cornell were kind to him. And we always had, we, I grew up in Palo Alto and next to Stanford university. And every Thanksgiving we had international students come and spend Thanksgiving with us because they didn't have anywhere to go.
[00:59:07] Um, Oh, it's one of those international students where we would have had you over to our house and just enjoyed, you know, family time with strangers. We had this huge table in the house. Steve jobs bought the house next door to us. We had this table, which actually set. I mean, it was, you could see 30 people.
[00:59:27] And we had 30 people at the table, so it was really fun. So I think it was just that my parents have always, um, We're all like that. My brother's a musician and my other brother is a, is a, has a business in Hawaii of, um, security alarms. And he is a philanthropist. He goes to Naipaul in the Philippines and rebuild a devastation, my brother, but I don't know, we were, we were just raised.
[00:59:54] All I can say is we were raised that way. So it was like in my blood, it was never really, I don't think it was, uh, it was just, it was an evolution versus. Do you think that's the way, and then I want her to address. So how do I, the other second part of the question was about my clients. You asked me how, or you help them find it organic because, um, media training is a lot like.
[01:00:22] Uh, improvisational, jazz or improvising. So it's not, um, everyone. So I listened to the way that someone speaks. Naturally, I take them through a process of questioning. I listened to the way that they speak naturally. And then I start to pluck out the jewels and point them out. But what I know and now neuroscience.
[01:00:42] Points this up because when we're, when someone is a jazz musician, when they go into the risk or the improvisation, it's a different part of the brain. It's not the conscious part of the right. And maybe then we can lead into the one command from here, like doing that process together. That'd be a perfect point.
[01:00:57] So, um, they're in a place of not thinking and it's a different part of the brain and it just goes, we all have that ability. And, and I've noticed with everyone that I work with when they're just relaxed and talking to me, their stories come out almost perfect. Hm. And so what we're just doing is like shaping the story and yes, there are formats that are, that I show them that like, these are successful formats that other people have used.
[01:01:21] If your format fits into that naturally, I'm going to show you that process. Otherwise I'm going to reverse engineered for you. So you know how you've told a story successfully naturally, so you can do it again. So the process starts to become more conscious so you can repeat it. Because you do need to be able to repeat it because I want to work myself out of a job.
[01:01:43] If you know how to do this. And here's what happens. You may be on a media appearance or a podcast, and you get thrown a loop. You need to know how to create your own messages and soundbites on the spot. And if you have certain formats, you can sort of wrangle it in. You can wrangle it in. If you don't know anything.
[01:02:02] And it's like wide open, that's much harder. To pull things in if rather than having formats, rather than, you know, you know, a song structure and therefore you can, and you might know five of them and you can pull that out on the slot. Yeah. You're smiling about that. So you know about that. So neuroscience proves now that when we're relaxed and we dropped down, that's when things just flow.
[01:02:29] Right. And so essentially we want to get back to that flow state and that's relaxation. That's not being, self-conscious not thinking about yourself. So that's, the practice is getting back to our naturalness. And one of my clients said to me, you know, I think it was at a class. She says, Susan, you're telling us to be ourselves, but we need to practice at it.
[01:02:53] But I said, yeah, actually, you too. You do need to practice being yourself because there's so much coming at us that throws us off ourselves, you know, and that is coming back to our quote unquote, best self in the moment, right? Not the, not the snappy self or the, you know, the, um, the Polish though, to construct yourself.
[01:03:17] Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. And to be, um,
[01:03:24] to be able to be relaxed enough to be in that state. So things flow perfectly, which they will. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Um, did you want to do the one command before I asked my follow-up? Yeah. So one of the things where, okay, so everybody has issues, myself included CK. We all have, we all have, are perfectly imperfect human beings.
[01:03:51] So. So Tiki Roshi says you're perfect as you are. And there's always room for improvement. One of the things that happens with all of my clients is they have certain personality triggers, stuck points, patterns, programs, beliefs that are holding them back. Um, no matter what the level is, right? Like millionaires spiritually, you know, the Sufi master.
[01:04:14] We all, I mean, he's a Sufi master, you know, he was, you know, at the UN he's negotiating peace treaties, we all have our issues. It doesn't matter how high a level you are, uh, uh, politically, spiritually, intellectually, um, So I started getting trained in the one command because I liked love speed, and I like to have things shift really quickly.
[01:04:38] And I wanted a way just like, that's why I did I KIDO so I could get things more embodied in media training. I wanted to be able to move my clients faster forward, faster, and so they could get what they wanted with media. Um, so. I started training with the seller, love joy in the one command, both one-on-one and in a group to get certified.
[01:05:00] So the one command has helped millionaires, billionaires, heads of state and people, entrepreneurs like you and me shift their patterns, programs, beliefs, um, Instantly on the spot. Sometimes it takes longer because they're layers and layers, but this is a process that is sort of the missing link to self-help because it's not outside yourself, it's inside yourself.
[01:05:23] It's not manifestation manifesting, which is outside. It's about you tapping into your greater self and the availability of what already is for you. So that's a quick explanation of it. And the results are that, you know, people go from 10 million to a hundred million or from a thousand to 10,004, I'm talking about.
[01:05:44] You know that, or like when I was working with Asara, I'm allergic to gluten and we sh we cleared that like no natural path, nobody had, they're like, we can clear you have everything, but not gluten. Wow. Working with that. Yeah. And I, I'm happy to share more examples of what I've done with my clients too.
[01:06:04] Cause I'm starting to work with my clients on this. It's new to me. So I'm not an expert in it yet, but I'm happy to share what I know, so the great thing that you need to know is that this is a, this is a very simple process that can shift your beliefs patterns, programs in the moment.
[01:06:22] And then you watch what arises. So you know what to work on next. Are there boots on the ground? Meaning do you have to then do things physically, right? Like if you have a mindset and you know, you've always had. A poor relationship with your mother. Is this just going to like shift that? Well, you know, that could take a few layers, right?
[01:06:42] Um, to be able to do that, but it's starting to be in that awareness. So I just wanted to be clear about that. That people go, you know, a million dollars, isn't going to be plopped on your doorstep if you've only it's it's. So to illustrate what you're articulating here, what Suzanne is saying is you were sheriff immediately leading a subjective reality.
[01:07:00] Yeah, the object reality. Still gonna take time. You guys still have that circumstances, challenges, whatever, but you know, over time giving this new shifted subject to reality, you may look at those challenge problems, newly and new solutions will come arise. Is that an accurate reflection? Yeah. And some things do happen instantly and some things happen a month, three months, a year later.
[01:07:20] Right. So, so there is no sort of space. Time it is, it is now. So we'll go through the steps and then I'll lead you through them. So you just listen to the steps first, so you know where we're going and then we'll go into them and you can, and then you, you just do it with me and CK.
[01:07:37] You and I can actually, um, do this together and I'll share with you how, as soon as I tell the steps, so the first step is to ground. So what we'll do is we'll, um, We'll put our feet on the floor and if you're laying down, that's fine. It doesn't matter where you are. It's about rooting yourself in the earth.
[01:07:53] That's number one. Number two is to align in your heart. Um, number three is to, um, Go into theta. And we do that by just rolling our eyes up. Our eyes will be closed, but we roll them up to the, like where you're looking at your forehead or looking at the top of your head. That's mechanically going to put you into feta, which is a different state than we are normally, which is beta.
[01:08:19] And that's way to open your mind to if you're calling like subjective reality, that is going to be opening your mind to what's the closest to the dream state. So you get out of your conscious thinking and into. The possibility of all that is. And what this process does is it actually changes your neurology, your biology and your DNA.
[01:08:41] So, um, so that can all happen simultaneously. So just by doing this process, you're already in a different state of mind. We phrase a command, which is, I think we're on number four, number five, we phrase a command two. And the word is, I don't know how. What that does, is it automatically takes you out of your linear thinking and it also takes away your objections about like how things can't happen.
[01:09:12] And so it puts us into an open frame of mind. And what one of my friends said that I think is so beautiful is he said it kind of connects you to the mystery of what is, um, because if you don't have something. And you try to name it, which is manifestation. And I love Abraham Hicks and I love all of that stuff.
[01:09:32] So if that was working for you, that's great. I'm just explaining the difference. So when you try to name something that you've never had before, I never had the experience of it. How do you know how to get it? So saying, I don't know how. Opens up the possibilities for a new thought, a new way, a new experience to come in because it doesn't happen to you before it hasn't happened in as big a way as you like.
[01:10:00] And then. Then, so I don't know how, and then I, then we say whatever that is that we don't know how to do, and that it's what we want. It's what we want to change, remove or improve. That's what we're going to name first. And then we're going to shift that. And then the last part is to say, um, so I don't know how I relax.
[01:10:23] In front of, um, media, every time I do it, no matter what medium it is, and I'm talking to a person, I only know that I do now and I am grateful and fulfilled. So the last part is being grateful and fulfilled. Having gratitude for the process. So the way I thought we could do it together, CK, choose something.
[01:10:42] If you would like to choose something that you specifically would like to change, remove, or improve, or, and we can combine it with maybe people who want to do media or more speaking on more zoom calls, because that's upright. Now we can integrate that in, but if you have a particular, yeah, sure. So let me.
[01:11:01] Clarify something, I don't know how, and in something that I wanted to shift yeah. Is the positive. So let's imagine I want to shift my nervousness. I, I, when I say, I don't know how, I don't know how I'm relaxed and, and grateful and feel comfortable on camera. So shifting to the positive. So we're shifting from the negative, the negative nervous, the positive.
[01:11:23] So we're only seeing the positive when we say the command. I just want to say one more thing about the command. You only do a command once because it is, so it has shifted in the quantum field. Got it might be deeper ways that we do that. Like you can do it for, I did it specifically for our interview today, relaxing and in the flow with CK today, because this is like a new experience.
[01:11:50] Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So I think for me would be to be more playful. Okay. Great. All right. Great. So, um, close your eyes. And so also what I want to say is let's go back and forth. So I'll say a command. You say command, I'll say a command. You say command, so I'll start. And then you just jump in with whatever playful of response you want to say, or if it's not playful, that's okay too.
[01:12:16] It doesn't matter. It's just, and we'll go back and forth. So I say something, you say something and then I'll just bring us to a natural conclusion. I'm just taking all the instruction in. So. I'll do my best. Yeah. And I'll cue you I'll go CKD. Would you like to say something? And if you don't, if you go, no, we have nothing to say.
[01:12:34] That's fine. And I'll just keep going. So feel free if you don't have anything to say, or if nothing pops up in the moment, just let me know. And I'll. Yeah. So thank you for being brave and doing this. Cause see, K's never done this. No, no, this is, this is the one Nobel warrior is all about, you know, like you got, you got some new ways to hack consciousness.
[01:12:55] Let's do it. Yeah. And what people have said about this that I really love and we'll see how all of you feel, um, yeah. That. It feels really easy and good, and there's no resistance to it because my sweetie, who has done everything and you know, has been meditating forever. He said, this is the only process I've never had any resistance to, which is interesting.
[01:13:18] Yeah, we'll see. But you have your own experience. Whatever you have is fine. Let's do it. So close your eyes. Um, you can rest your feet on the floor. If you're lying down, just lie down and relax and feel the bed or the couch or whatever. If you're in a chair, feel the back of it. You can rest your hands, uh, either open or in a moodra if you like, like this, or you can have your just palms open on your knees.
[01:13:49] Or on the sides of a chair whatever's most comfortable for you. Take a deep breath in, let it out deep breath in through your nose can let it out through your nose, your mouth, feel your feet on the floor. Wherever you are. And imagine that your feet are going deep, deep, deep into the earth. You can also imagine that there jewels that there will be, these are diamonds or gems or crystals that go deep, deep, deep into the earth.
[01:14:29] So they're going deep, deep, deep, all the way to the center of the earth. And we're connecting with our ancestors with all of the experience that they've had before. Us that can help us. You're connecting with the Magna with earth, with all of the creatures that are in that ground. And at the same time, imagine a beautiful beam of light coming down through the top of your head, the crown of your head, all the way through your body, all the way through your solar plexus, all the way, deep, deep, deep into the earth.
[01:15:00] So you're connected with both the heavens and the earth and all that is possible. Then begin to draw that energy, that deep supportive earth energy up through your feet, through your calves, through your knees, through your thighs, up to your solar, plexus up to your heart. And when you reach your heart, we're just going to align with your intention for CK it's to be more playful for you.
[01:15:29] If it's to be more relaxed. Done video on zoom to connect with people deeply, to have a wonderful experience, to begin, to have more love in your heart, to see the good in people, to feel comfortable within your own skin, to have the experience of having a good and relaxed and flow experience, whatever that is for you alive and that in your heart.
[01:15:54] And then take a deep breath in. Okay. And pull that energy from your heart all the way up through the, your forehead and hold it. So hold right at the forehead, your breath. Hold hold. Hold and then let it out
[01:16:14] light. Before you light behind you, light above you, light below you light to the right of you light to the left of you light inside of you. Light, light. Like you are a body of light. You are filled with light. Then gently roll your eyes up into your head as if you're looking into your forehead. This is what's going to take us into data and then put your conscious mind up through your head.
[01:16:42] Take a trip up through your forehead, up through your head, up to the ceiling up, up. Past the stars up above, past the galaxies up above, past the Milky way up above, past Saturn and Jupiter and all the planets up, up, up past all the galaxies and the universes and anything. And you're going to come to a velvety black, a mist, and then you're going to pop up through that mist into the white luminosity of all that is.
[01:17:14] And this is where the pure potential is. You can to do anything and be anything and feel anything. And your greatest self, you have access to that, and you have access to the powerful consciousness of all the beans and people and anything that came beforehand before us. I don't know how I feel more playful and alive and exhilarated.
[01:17:35] I only know that I do now, and I am grateful and fulfilled. And then C K you can add in something that you would like as well with the same commitment. I don't know how, I don't know how, and then it just a variation of being playful or anything that pops into your mind. Yeah, that'd be totally relaxed doing our podcast.
[01:17:57] So my guests can, co-create beautiful content to inspire all of my listeners. Great. I don't know how I inspire people with just who I am with my words, with my playfulness, with my being ness. They only know that I connect to people deeply and they connect that to me. And that brings me joy and it brings me more of everything I want.
[01:18:22] They only know that it is so now, and I'm grateful and fulfilled. If you want to add in another, you can, and you can say, I don't know how, and then say a command that you wish. I don't know how to be totally present and just enjoy the moment with all of my guests during inspired everyone who. is hungry for what we're, co-creating what we have collected over the years.
[01:18:52] Hmm. I don't know how I attract and the people that need to hear my message and see case message come and find him and find me and find what they need. I only know that those people find us and find that wonderful exploration and feel enlivened by it and feel just as present and as relaxed. C K. I only know that I do now and I'm grateful and fulfilled.
[01:19:20] I don't know how I opened my mind to new experiences, to the things that I want. The things that I, that I don't yet have, that I may not even know that are going to make me feel better and enrich my life. I only know that I do now and I'm grateful and fulfilled. I don't know how I am so comfortable doing media and getting my message out into the world that people really need to hear, to help more people to connect with people, to give them what I came on this earth to give.
[01:19:49] I only know that I do know, and I'm grateful and fulfilled. I don't know how I am more playful and more relaxed and just really allow any experience to come in and follow that where it might lead me, that I get the right experiences for the things that I need for the next steps and wherever I want to go.
[01:20:07] I only know that I do now and I'm grateful and fulfilled. I don't know how I can be exactly who I am, that I can be relaxed in who I am and that people resonate and respond to that. I only know that I am now and I'm grateful and fulfilled. They don't know how I can do zoom and video and podcast and media and Facebook live and Instagram and be myself and get my message out there and have the kind of clients and customers and sales that I want.
[01:20:37] I only know that I, I do now and I am grateful and fulfilled. I don't know how I can bring in the exact amount of money and maybe actually three times more money that I need, um, to help my family and help others and be able to give enough away to feel comfortable. I only know that I do now and I'm grateful and fulfilled.
[01:20:58] I don't know how I can find exactly what I need to do. On this earth at this time to be of maximum good in the world. The only know that I do now and I'm grateful and fulfilled and then take a breath and even expand more deeply into whatever that is. Just, you feel the expansion of all the molecules of your body.
[01:21:21] And then we're going to unwind unlined, unlined, any doubts, any fears, anything that's holding us back, unwind, unwind, unlined, any kind of experiences that have happened before us unwind, unwind, unwind, and then rewind, rewind, rewind with this new experience, relaxation, this sense of fun, this excitement in the future that anything is possible.
[01:21:46] Rewind rewind, rewind. And this is where your DNA is actually changing. So if there's images and thoughts and feelings that are coming in, just notice them. Now make note of them later. This is part of your guidance. Just let all of that come in and then take another breath. And when you're ready, open your eyes and come back to the room.
[01:22:19] Amazing. Yeah. What did you notice for you? Uh,
[01:22:29] That fee up light number one, just, um, it's, it's there. It's beautiful to always be in that space. And also I noticed how soothing your voices. Yeah. It's one of those voices that you can just listen to for hours and on, you know, resonance. Yeah. You know, so I need, in case you don't have a podcast in case you don't have any kind of sound healing offering yet.
[01:22:57] I recommend it. I hope this is a sound healing for all of you. Very, very relaxing. It's very relaxing. My, my, my nervous system really liked it, you know, brings me to a space. What did you notice? Yeah. So I noticed that first I had a little bit of self-consciousness cause I've never done this before and I really needed to focus and drop in so I could relax enough to just sort of feel what cause what are, because it's all spontaneous.
[01:23:33] Like some, I did this with a friend and he's like, well, how did you know, how did you say all those things? Have you done this times? And no, it was something completely different for him. And I said, No, I was just trying to sense what it was that you needed. And so that's, I can't do that in my conscious mind.
[01:23:53] So I don't know if you heard, you know, things that you needed to hear or that you, what it was, it was just the sound that it was, but that was my intention that people that I'm guided to just say what, what it is that, but you can't, it's hard to do if you're nervous about it. Yeah, it was breath. Yeah, it was very beautiful.
[01:24:15] I really, really appreciate it. Happy to have that experience with you. So I want to segue to some. Hmm. So something tactical. Yeah. Can you just say this really quick? So this is something that you can do every day, um, five minutes or one minute or whatever. I did it on a whole bunch. You can do one, so you can go through this process and you can actually do it really fast.
[01:24:41] I mean, we did it slowly, but you can do it. You could actually probably do a one minute version. For yourself. So I just want to say this is something that you could do on any topic and you can choose one topic. I just went on a roll for a whole bunch of them. It's called stacking. Um, so if there's one specific thing that you want, like I did it on our podcast, but I also did it on a whole bunch of other things too, that I'm wanting that I'm wanting today.
[01:25:06] Um, and one of those is to be. To get more work, more work done. I have a lot of things I'm doing rebranding. I have so much on my plate. I'm in a coaching course with Samantha Hartley who, you know, I mean, it's, it's just like, ah, you know, it's just so many things that I have on my plate. And what I was asking for too is to.
[01:25:27] Whatever work or whatever I'm doing. Can I be in that state where I can have maximum effectiveness and efficient and beauty? In that state. So that was one thing that I commanded for too, for all of my day to day, but I also do it for specific things that I need to accomplish so I can, um, condense time what I want to and expand time.
[01:25:53] So if you're asking for something tactical, I know you asked for this, but I have a practice that. Condenses time and expands time. Cause there's times when we want time to expand, when we're with our friends, when we're with our lovers, whatever, when we're having a great time, we don't want it to end. So how can we stretch that?
[01:26:12] Well, since you opened that loop, can you go into that? How do you expand time? How do you multiply time? Time? Yeah. So part of that is getting spaciousness in your body and in your mind, like how do you hear those messages that you need to hear? I was listening to, I was watching a class with Ru Paul and he said, if you do not write is fabulous by the way, just a quick quaint injection.
[01:26:41] He wasn't an accidental teacher. I never thought I would like. I never ever found, I would like Ru Paul, but when I watch his masterclass, like the real deal, I really like him brutally. Now he was right there throughout his class. Was he not like, talk about presence here, you know, right there. But I'm a, that is an embodiment.
[01:27:09] And that's what we're going for in embodiment of your values. Even of who you are, not who you say you are. Don't tell me who you are back. Yeah. W there wasn't any kind of posturing has just, you know, he actually did whatever work he needed to do to let go of all that. He was just there and giving his truth.
[01:27:29] And if you like it fantastic, you know, try it on. If they don't like it. Fantastic. You know, Hey, good luck to you. And I really noticed about him is like, Oh my gosh, how many things he's done to get to where he is? I was like, when people say, you know, I want to be a media star. I want to be on TV. Oh, you, you, you are not on TV.
[01:27:47] It is. It is the 10,000 iterative times. And it's not just doing something 10,000 times. It's doing it and, or an iteration every single time that you do it. So it's the 10,000 hours. And then it's also. Um, the progression of practice all the time. Like how many times he was on the stage, how many times, you know, how afraid he was on the stage and nervous and not knowing whether he was in the right direction or whatever.
[01:28:15] So back to, um, the T the time, and what RuPaul said is, um, moments of stillness. So one person just that you can do, that anybody can do is do one minute an hour. Of breathing and centering, instilling. Cause sometimes people have a really hard time. I'm very active. I don't know if you are too. I don't have a really easy time sitting.
[01:28:37] I do a lot of my meditative work and my prayers and my thinking and my expressing while I walk, I have a notebook and I have my iPhone. So sometimes I recorded to my iPhone and recorded to notes. Sometimes I get down whatever medium. Seems to work for me, but, um, I do meditations prayers while I'm moving a lot of times, but I also sit and stillness everyday.
[01:28:58] I do the one command and then I sit in meditation, which is not easy for me because when you're, what I love about the one command is I keep a notebook right by my, because I tons of ideas. And I, I sometimes pretend that that counts as my meditation. It doesn't it doesn't, um, meditation is different. So you can do you can I have the one command and then I go into meditation for the stillness.
[01:29:22] And then if my mind is really busy, I write those things down. So then I can continue to clear, but that stillness is where the answers come. Whether it's in the shower, whether it's running, it doesn't matter what the practice is for you. It doesn't have to necessarily be meditation or stillness, but something that stills your mind.
[01:29:39] So with all that, Where the noise is, is where you're not listening to the outside world. You're just listening to your own insight. Yeah. I so appreciate that mental model, Susan. Um, this I'll share one. What I do. And then I'll segue to the question I wanted to ask you. Okay. So on this podcast, we talk a lot about how do you actually tap in penetrate the constructive self?
[01:30:05] The stories, illusions, all that stuff is to tap into that. Uh, wholeness that capital itself, the, um, the sores, the higher sell, whatever you're calling that place of stillness. And that is the source of new ideas, messages, downloads, intuition, whatever you call it. Um, that's what we talk about in the podcast alive.
[01:30:27] So any of these practices? Yeah. Uh, one command or I wast sky journeys or inner meditation or yoga or boxing is inspiring. Raise a cold bath or breath work. Any of these are just different path as a way to strip away these layers of constructive bleed. And then really get us closer to that. Um, capital as self.
[01:30:50] So that's, that's where we talk about capital capital itself. I thought you said capitalist. I go, I didn't know we were going for the capitalists. One thing that I need to be better at is ni Nancy as an immigrant. There you go. Thank you for that. I appreciate it. Um, I have, uh, I have a lot of practices, so I do the one command.
[01:31:11] I do meditation. I have a walking practice. I haven't been doing Ikea. I got injured in Ikea, so I actually haven't done it in a couple of years. However, I'm always practicing Ikea. Um, and, and I am doing some sword work on my deck with the both Ken and Joe, which are the, the sword and the staff. So, um, Oh, hold on.
[01:31:31] Before we move on, is there a good teacher that you recommend? If that's something I want to be, I want to practice because I am looking for a embodiment practice, especially when it comes to bow or sword or things like that. I'm a, I'm a guy. What can I say? Yeah, no, absolutely. And you know what, um, a photographer who was taking pictures said, you know, when we, when we work with the Joe or we don't actually hit the person on the head, we can't, we stopped like an inch ahead.
[01:31:58] And this photographer said, Oh my God, I still wanted to like, be able to hit somebody on the head. You know, so that kind of aggression thing. So my teacher is I'm Hans go to a sensei. So he's here in San Rafael. He's an amazing teacher. He's a seventh Don and he's head of our lineage. so practices. So I have a writing practice. I'm a writer. I've been in a writing group for many years with my friend and my dear friend, Laurie Wagner, who has something called wild writing, by the way, she's offering a free seven day, seven days, um, as well. And, um, this might be a good time to mention if you want any of my free things there on PR secrets.com, uh, P like Paul R like Richard, like public relations, secrets.com.
[01:32:39] So if you're wanting to further yourself with media, I have the a hundred word email that can get them, me to get a call you. And there's lots of other free videos and masterclasses and anything that you want. So her class and the reason why it's all the same practice, just in a different form. So this practice that she does, the what's called wild writing.
[01:33:01] Is that, um, no censorship, just like I train to meet her media train. There's no sense of words. There's no editing. When we're talking that comes later. Separate process. We're just talking through. So in the writing, there's no taking your hand off the page, so we don't do it on the computer. We do it with a pen.
[01:33:20] Um, you don't sensor yourself ever. So you're just writing from we, Laurie reads a poem. She excerpts a couple of lines to jump off from, to just get us going or makes a suggestion, talks about it a little bit. And then we, right. And so you can, if you get stuck, you can say, I don't know what I want to say.
[01:33:40] It. Just write that. And then you, and so it's like five to 15 minutes we do. And you can also write, um, what I really want to say is, or what I've never told you before is, or what I've held back. Whatever that is. You just keep writing I'm you can say like, sometimes I get stuck and I might say, Oh my God, this is such crap.
[01:34:01] I can't believe what's coming out of me today. Here was the law, you know, Laurie said, it's okay to write crap. Well, I'm doing it. You know, Joe going, and then what happens is most of the time, not always right, but you start to drop down and you start to drop your own bullshit. And you start to get to that core.
[01:34:22] That is the same thing. Like you do improvisation with that flow fam, it's just, that's a medium to do it. These are just different mediums that work on, I think, different parts of the brain. So this is the writing brain. So I'm used to already doing improvisation in so many ways. So that's an improv practice because there's no censoring, you're just getting down in the page, whatever it is, then we read no criticism, no commenting.
[01:34:46] Yeah, it's just, it just, it is what it is. Um, so that's a practice. My other practice is, um, before I start work, I have a prayer that I say that is, um, that is, um, open my path before me and let me be of maximum good in the world. So that's what I say every single day. And when I'm with, when I do a call like this, or when I'm with a client, I always ask that I can be guided for that.
[01:35:17] Person's highest good. So that is, you know, whatever they need, let it come through me. Um, my other practice is, um, so that, Oh, I, I was listening to what. I don't know, has Nate Tennessee's name? Andrew fresh. The Andre. This is celebrity security guy. Um, I have a practice that before I go to bed, I say something else.
[01:35:46] So I made this up, um, every, uh, thank you for everything I am and have for all am grateful. Thank you for everything. I am not. And have not for all. I am grateful. So in both, both of those. Opposites. Um, and then I may do, sometimes they do this walking and sometimes they do this praying when I was, I was raised a Catholic.
[01:36:06] So the first type of praying that I would do is say prayers really, really fast and Dole them out to people. So that's what I learned first. Um, you know, Buddhists have a practice where you donate your practice to somebody, but donates, not the right word. You, you, you give your practice to people. You know what I mean? So I'm, I'm giving this practice, I'm offering it to, to, to help others. So I do that. And then what I, what I do, what I alternate is sometimes I.
[01:36:38] Send out good energy to all the people that I love, um, and then include my neighbors. So I just do that. It's more of an energetic practice, so that's, uh, that's my new prayer. So I don't like dull out hail Mary full of grace loans would be, that was the, but that's what I learned first. Like you say, all these prayers and then you'd give them away.
[01:36:55] And that's how you do that. So this is just a, a different way of doing it energetically. So I do that. Um, and then I, I know that Andrei said, and I want to ask him about this. Cause I'm so curious that he doesn't. Say things that he's grateful for outside of himself. He only quote himself. I'm thinking I would run out of things to say that I'm grateful for in myself.
[01:37:18] And like one night, you know what I'm saying? Like, how do you think about what you're grateful for, for yourself?
[01:37:28] Well, I mean, similar to your writing practice, right? You just. You just keep going. You go there's elephant, elephant all the way down, turtle all the way down. Like you can't say the same thing every single day. Like in my book, you can't go, okay. You know what I, this is what I love about my son was over it.
[01:37:46] I mean, Kenya, like I was thinking, shouldn't it be? Is it different? Is it the same thing every day? Because when we practice a gratitude practice, you try to get more specific about. What, what happened and start to see the smaller and smaller things. Right. So I guess you can do that with yourself. I think it's a lot harder.
[01:38:09] That's that's a life's path for sure. Uh, just like how, how do you describe this mouse? You know, you can describe it infinite number of ways, right? All different kinds of aspects. So you go granny more and more granular, and I can acknowledge you for hours and on for sure. It's not a challenge. Oh, that's very kind of you, as I'm trying to think if there's any other practices.
[01:38:32]Tell me a little bit about yours and then that might spur me because I probably have other ones in terms of daily practice oil. One of the newest one that I have is tracking my sleep.
[01:38:43] That's a big one. Oh God. Okay. Well, is that a ring? Yeah, this is an aura ring. And that's what I'm showing. It's showing you a ring for no reason. This is the wiring that tracks your heart rate variability or where your resting heart rate gives you a score gives you a readiness score. Uh, I'm a biohacker.
[01:39:04] This is something that I, uh huh. That's neat. Yeah, super neat, because rather than qualify, qualitatively, knowing like, Oh, how awesome is my sleep? And Ashley gives me something that's quantifiable. So as part of my joy in life is to do self experiments all day long. So that's something that I enjoyed doing right now, the practices, um, I recall a lot of my calls, so this is actually unusual.
[01:39:32] So I just shared more of the unusual ones. And that way I can listen from a different perspective. So cause sometimes especially deep conversations like this, I may not be able to catch it all. Yeah, the wisdom just zooming by, and sometimes I'm thinking about something else. So for me, listening to the calls actually are really, really helpful for me to like, Oh, Susan actually dropped so many gems.
[01:39:59] I didn't catch it, but now I can catch him again. Right. So that's a way to kind of review today with a little bit more granularity. Yeah. Um, what else do I do? Um, I started doing breath work things do, um, Or a ring, um, to really help me basically start my day by hyper oxygenating my body. And then I also have my meditation practice.
[01:40:25] I share with you on our call, a enlightenment technique that I learned to drop into that, um, consciousness. So that, that pure consciousness space really quickly, that's something that I do also publicly on this podcast. I share, you know, sort of, uh, the plant medicine path is also something that I really adopted because for me, I want to get into that hyperreality space.
[01:40:54] So then I can actually really look at what are my truth and what are my illusions, so that I can always step into that place of being the highest version of myself. And I'm very systematic about how I go about doing that, but there's many, many different paths that I've experimented in, try and different things.
[01:41:14] So, yeah, so right now my 2021 goal is. Embodiment practice because I'm very developed here and I'm somewhat developing my, and my empathy. I'm better at it then. And then I want to bring it to the body. So it can actually be playful. Bringing play to everything that I do is my 2021.
[01:41:39] Intention. Um, yeah, I saw something on a video that I so want to try so much, but when, when COVID lifts, it was, um, Zoomba, but on these things that were about this high, these bouncing shoes, so there was this much like, so you wouldn't be on the shoes and you were bouncing while doing Zumba. And I thought that looked so.
[01:42:05] Fun. Interesting. The reason why I love I though, too, we love hate because you know, because I'm awkward, but what I love about it, and sometimes I'd be so crabby and I wouldn't want to go. Right. But I would go and I always felt super joyful after. It was the, it was like the biggest joy machine you asked why I continued it.
[01:42:25] That's why the biggest joy machine. It's also so fascinating. Cause I'm five, two, and I wrote somebody who's 200 pounds, six, two. How can that happen? It's it's through because you're an engineer. It's through technique. It's through angles. It's through motion rhythm. But it's about getting the right. I think it might appeal to you because it's about, let me see if I can see it.
[01:42:53] It's about like getting the right angle of the other person's body, where they're light, hold on, where you can pin them. So again, it's not about a physicality or strength. It's about all of the convergence of those things to make a person light so you can throw them, um, no matter what size or shape they are.
[01:43:15] And that to me is really fascinating. Yeah, I love it. Well, we're definitely kindred spirit. I do want to ask you some tactical questions. I'm respectful of your time as well. And so I wanted to, um, get, get you some key points before we complete our conversation.
[01:43:34] Um, so. Thinking back, the younger version of CK, very intellectually developed, um, you know, has the mind, the heart set in the right place and want to, he, he, they wanted to and make a big difference in the world, but, um, he doesn't necessarily know what the message wants to share with the world yet. What would you recommend him to take on tactically as a way to hone in on the message that he can devote himself to.
[01:44:05] Step into more prominence, the younger CK doesn't know his message. I would say that, that, you know, it's about a process of experimentation where you are seeking, what makes you alive? Because I don't think people think, Oh, you know, you craft these messages or they just come out of space of no, they come out of your experience.
[01:44:30] They come out of your desire. So I can't tell you what your messages are. I don't craft people's messages. They do. I help them along that, but they have to have something to say and think and, and a place they want to go. Otherwise, you know, I'm not the right person to, to do that. So it's like, what is it?
[01:44:51] That's juicing you? Where is it that your, um, curiosity, you use that word a lot. It's where is your curiosity taking you in this moment? You know, that's where we want to look first. Like, what is that? And, and it's an evolving process. It's not just like a one-time thing. I mean, I've had, we didn't go into my background, but I've had, you know, um, each time it's like, it's not one thing it's like of a corporate background.
[01:45:21] I worked for 10 years as a consultant. I have a teaching credential as high school English. My major was Shakespeare, you know, like. What does that have to do with anything? Right. I was a high-tech startup salesperson, um, you know, with the company that got acquired by, uh, I think it was MCI or sprint, you know, so I've got the sales background, I've got the teaching background, I've got the corporate background.
[01:45:47] How did I even get into PR? Well, that was through like a writing class at, um, UC Berkeley. And one of this gal work for the North face and I was trying to move out of sales and more just into writing. And I was like, Hey, can I, can I, um, shadow you? And I started doing PR for the North face and for title nine sports, which was now, you know, with three people that are two people, Missy park and in a, in a warehouse.
[01:46:14] And is now the second, I think the second largest women's athletic wear. So it's all like an evolution. So to say, What is my message. I think we have to start way back to like who you are, what do you stand for? What are your values? What do you want to accomplish and why? And I think it's that kind of progression.
[01:46:36] That's why I asked those questions to people who come to me like the what's your big vision. So you don't have to have a big vision. It can be a small, like it can be for your hometown. It doesn't matter. It's just, what do you, what do you want? Why are you doing what you're doing? And, and who is it going to affect?
[01:46:53] And then that second part is, what do you want for yourself? What do you want to receive? It's like, here's how I want to give. Here's what I want to come back out myself in these areas. That's what we talk about. Do you want to be a speaker or do you want to be a writer or do you want, you know, where is it and that though that's your, it can be your current self, your future self, somewhere along that continuum, possibly start with the messaging until you have in mind.
[01:47:21] The, the goal or what it is that you're hoping for. So I'm the person for that to find out your goal. That's, you know, some kind of coach or something, you, you have to have the goal when you come to me or have an idea, like you work with people. Who've, who've been very successful in business, but are developing themselves spiritually.
[01:47:42] I want to work with those people who know, or have an inkling of how they want to make an impact in the world. Like you're developing them spiritually. Well, the, I consider this a spiritual practice as well. Right? Then if, if you want to make an impact in the world and you let's see how you can do that, and maybe the, the, what I want for myself, maybe more consciousness to be able to give my money away better.
[01:48:08] I mean, it doesn't matter what that, what it is you, if you've got $30 million, you're going to have to think about how you want to give some of it away or, or spend it. Consciously, right. Like, I mean, at least that would be a question that I would want to ask. It's like not another house or another jet, like how many do you need?
[01:48:24] Right. Right. I mean, that would be my, well, how many are you happy with? How many, you know what I mean? So we would, but it's about what is it? And if you want to explore that, um, that's great too, but it's usually people come to me with a certain amount of clarity about what they want to do in the, in the world.
[01:48:45] Yeah. Um, and it just doesn't interest me. I don't work with them or values. Yeah. Beautiful. I so appreciate the way you answer it. The big key word that I heard is curiosity and joy and happiness. Right. And follow it, follow that rabbit hole. And then, and then you'll find ultimately, what is it that you're up to and you help them craft the message, their paths, your deliver that.
[01:49:14] Yeah, because, well, I mean, um, you know, people, we used to think that we get you in seven seconds, but it's actually, and I think it's actually in a blink of an eye. We already get you, we already get your presence. We already get who you are.
[01:49:27] And then that will sort of backing it up. Yeah. So it is how you've developed yourself. That's what shows up first and certainly on camera. That's what shows up first, because kinds of distracting things, that's what we're looking at and we're not focusing on you, your message, who you are. Yeah, the camera is a magnifier.
[01:49:46] She shows everything. So, um, so actually on that note, I'm curious to know also as well, because again, thinking back people like me, founders, like me, entrepreneurs like me, we're very much. Focused on the product, you know, and then they're reluctant to go to the limelight. It's not, cause it's not fame that we want.
[01:50:07] So it's like the last resort. Oh my God. I can't believe you got it. People you'd be surprised like even with these great things, it is their last resort and they don't want it, I guess. So, so how do you help them think about publicity and being on shows and having exposure? Because there's a little bit of a inattention, right?
[01:50:32] I don't want to the limelight because it's not about me, but I have to do it because it's part of my responsibility and obligation as the CEO of the founder. So I'll do it, but I don't want to do it. So how do you essentially help them think about this? Rather than like all my guys, a chore, I really don't want to do it.
[01:50:53] You know what I mean? I think the first part is we're not thinking about it. Okay. Um, so we do want to get out of our minds and into our bodies. Okay. How does it feel? Because that's really what we're going for. How does it feel and how do I want to make other people feel whatever your product is, whether it's technology-based or whatever it's about the experience the person is going to have.
[01:51:16] And when we can connect that experience with us and really take that out of ourselves again yet, like, yes, yes. Most of us, unless you're a super extrovert, we are going to be having these things, you know, these issues about being on camera and showing up. And then all of our personal Michigan crap is going to come up.
[01:51:35] That's just the way it is. And it's not that part. I think the relief of that is the fun part, but the process is sometimes difficult, but if we're thinking about
[01:51:49] not adding on, but taking away, it's really the Xenophon location. You know, my, my I'm naming my new course, the Zen of fame. I've had that trademark trademark. Right. Does that a thing? It is about the simplicity and the peeling away to get to the essential and that's for you and that's for what you're conveying to your audience and what you want them to have.
[01:52:12] And if we can start thinking of terms of really what we want, then the self, I think, starts to recede something, especially when we start to see. The fruits of our labor, how we connect with people, how our product or service is going out in the world and having an affecting change that not that it needs to be done.
[01:52:34] I don't mean that it's outward based like that, that, that that's. That we have to have the, um, uh, you know, that we have to get that kind of gratification. But I think there has to be some kind of inner gratification for what we're doing that we want and why we want it. And I think we need to identify that.
[01:52:56] Like, why do I want this and why is it important to me? And then here's how we, this is one way to get it. And it's the fastest way. Immediate is the fastest way. It always has been. Interesting. And it'd be it. Get exposed to, let me, let me do a quick recap and maybe a throwing a metaphor and see if you agree with that.
[01:53:15] So what I'm hearing you say essentially, is really do that. Distillation, who you stand for, what is it that you want and who do you want to serve? Have that crystallization, and then use media exposure as a way to serve that. Purpose atomic unit of really who you are. So it's no longer as a chore because the chores about you, the self, rather, this is an opportunity for you to really amplify so media as an amplifier of the impact that you could make.
[01:53:50] Is that a rough, what did you say? What was it? The atomic unit. Well, the atomic unit. Yeah, those are my, what I say along this podcast, like condensed and down to the atomic unit of who you are as your value, what you stand for your goals and then use media as a way to amplify that beautiful way. Let's, let's take it down to your atomic unit and then expanded out into media.
[01:54:24] Your town, your community, the world, the universe. I mean, yeah. Yeah, but it isn't about the self, that's the small self, the fraidy self that's the small self, you know? Um, and there's an, and I think we're, we're, we're really speaking to your bigger self and which is, you know, um, accomplishing you only have this short time on earth.
[01:54:49] Right. And what is it that you want to do? With the skills and talents and abilities and personality that you were given. I think that's the question and all those other things that are blocking us and getting our way, those are the challenges that we need to meet. If we choose to go and give what we.
[01:55:09] Said we wanted to give, now I know that one of your book tack lines, you say the art of self-promotion without bragging bagging or whoring, is that, so what we're talking about is that's what that bullet means, correct? Focus on the appro as self capital S self, rather than the, the small SL is that accurate?
[01:55:31] And, and, and yes. And usually when, when I talk about that, it's like, you're not talking about yourself, you're talking about what you're accomplishing through other people, your mission through it's through people or through your events or through whatever it is that you're doing. It's not about you. Like I did this, or I did that.
[01:55:50] It's like, here's, here's, what's happening. You know, I've fed 2 million people or, you know, 2 million people have been fed because this and that, or I've, I've. You know, abolish sexual slavery. I've created a place where we can, um, you know, not be so obsessed about the color of our skin or our sexual preferences or whatever that is.
[01:56:14] Right. Like those to me are the like important issues or, um, you know, whatever's important to you. That's the, that's the key. Thanks Janette area. Thank you for that. Do you mind a few more minutes? Do one more question then we'll wrap it. Is that cool with you? So this, this may be big, so, you know, so now we have all kinds of.
[01:56:39] Uh, media platforms out there from Facebook to a podcast to clubhouse, to all kinds of, to do general media, TV, radio, and all these things. So from your perspective, as a PR professional PR media trainer coach, how would you advise the founders entrepreneurs? The Visioneers to leverage them rather than being.
[01:57:08] Like, Oh my God. So many things I can be doing a podcast and Ted talk and, you know, clubhouse and all day. Cause I still got to that actual thing I got to do. You know what I mean? So how would you think about the media landscape? Where are your people? Where is your audience? W where are the people that you want to connect with in effect?
[01:57:32] And there may be different audiences or maybe the product of your user. And there may be the investors, or there may be the partners that you want to connect with. But that's what I would go. That's where I would go first. Like where are my people in those realms with what I want to accomplish? So you don't, but I'm not suggesting that you do all of those mediums, um, choose the one that's easiest to do first, where your people are.
[01:57:58] So if writing is comfortable, start with writing and podcasts or writing and, um, you know, blogging or getting, you know, whatever, whatever is easiest to. So I think the convergence of that, I often work with my clients on where does joy and profit meet too. Like those two things sometimes, um, It, it, it has to be something that you can do consistently, too.
[01:58:24] So it's not about necessarily, there's a difference between loving it and being afraid of it. Right. And being accomplished at it. But if you look at it as, how am I going to be skilled in this one area, devote yourself to one thing first and see if you can master it, you know? Um, I could talk to you for hours.
[01:58:46]I want to take a moment to really acknowledge you. Um, I really feel palpably what you stand for, the things that you say in your website, helping people who are doing important things in the world in their own wild way. I want to be part of a bigger picture to be.
[01:59:03] Remember having helped them with joy and in spirit to shape their words, thoughts, and deeds, and you really show up powerfully. Just the way, you know, you dance. We mean this conversation, we went a lot of different places and, uh, we talked about the tactical things that the founders could do in terms of getting them be ready.
[01:59:23] We talked about the mindset, we talked about, um, you know, purpose. So really just thank you for the work that you do and the way that you do it with such grace and dignity. Thank you. That's really beautiful. And so poetic. And I want to thank you for being such a beautiful instigator of drawing these things out of people, which you do so skillfully.
[01:59:47] And so masterfully on all of these different personalities. Cause I've heard a number of different personality types that you, that you manage to draw out the fascinating things about them, because that's really. That's really a skill and a very valuable one, I think, to draw out what's important to those people and important to your audience.
[02:00:08] And, um, I think we had a playful time for sure, for sure. In there. Yeah. Well, I really appreciate that again very soon. My friend, thank you so much for being here. Thank you.