My next guest, JR Martinez, is an army vet, burn survivor, winner of Dancing with the Stars, a New York Times best-selling author, and the podcast host of the podcast “Rebirth.”
He speaks all over the world to share his story and knowledge on overcoming life’s battles.
We talked about:
- How he grew up with a single mother, struggled his identity, and felt alone in the world growing up
- He talked about speaking with intention and the power of words and the consequences when he got away from that
- He talked about how he grapples with saying something vs. holding back; doing it with compassion vs. doing it with force whenever he sees a chance to remind others who they could be.
Whether you can see the parallel in your own narratives and learn from his lessons, one thing is for certain, JR’s desire to help people have hope again, to have trust again, and to have self-love again is palpable. Feel his heart.
Quotable QuotesI was one of the first Hispanic kids to arrive in this small town in Arkansas. I wasn't cool enough for the black kids. I wasn't cool enough for the white kids. And then more Hispanic kids started showing up and I wasn't cool enough to… Click To Tweet I want people to know that there is hope. I want people to know that you do matter. I want people to trust that you have to. Just give it time. Click To Tweet I never knew until I joined the military was this notion of service. This notion of being a part of something that's bigger than you and I fell in love with that idea of service. Click To Tweet Jr, it is not your responsibility to fix and take on other people's, weight. I don't have to bear that responsibility. It is okay for you Jr. to set up boundaries. It is okay for you to Jeremy to say, no, not today. I can't do that. I… Click To Tweet It's okay for you to know your worth and know what's important to you. It's okay for you to get off of this. Merry-go-round get off this unhealthy carousel. It is not your responsibility Click To Tweet when someone says something to me that is attacking me, I always have to remind myself it's not about me. Click To Tweet I struggle with this is because I almost lost my life. Like I literally was on the verge of dying. I think because of that urgency Because my life was spared. I'm like the stereotype, like an old man that feels like he has to say… Click To Tweet People aren't always saying things to you because they need you to run your mouth. They need you to stop and listen, and to just validate what they are going through, what they're experiencing. Click To Tweet if you act stupid, people will tell you everything Click To Tweet I'm constantly looking at things from other people's perspective. I'm constantly trying to challenge myself to understand other people's pain. Other people struggle other people's needs. And it forces me to understand in the, in the… Click To Tweet Do the work on your craft, work on you understand why trust that the universe, that life, destiny, God, whatever you believe in has a plan for you because there is one and your job is to continue to show up in whatever space you find… Click To Tweet why do you deserve the reward? you haven't made it. You haven't paid the price yet. So I'm constantly doing that. I'm constantly reminded my young self, just trust Jr. Trust. It'll come, continue to work on what it is, why you do what you… Click To Tweet
Transcript by AI
Overcome Life's Battles
Welcome to noble warrior. My name is CK Lynn Nobel warriors were interviewed entrepreneurs about their journey from warrior to commender to King, to elder what deconstruct the mindset, mental models and actionable tactics. So you can take them and build your business and life with more impact and fulfillment.
[00:00:20] My next guest is Jr Martinez. He's a burn survivor who won dancing with the stars. He's also a new at times, best selling author is the host of the podcast. Rebirth, you know, speaks all over the world to share his story and his wisdom on overcoming life's battles. We talked about how he grew up with a single mother, how he's struggled with his cultural identity and how he felt so alone in the world.
[00:00:48] Growing up. He talked about speaking with intention and the power of words and the consequences when he got away from that, he talked about how you grapple with saying things versus holding back and doing it with compassion and love and peace versus doing it with force.
[00:01:06] Whenever he sees a chance to make a difference with others. Now, whether you can see the parallel, your own stories, your own life, and learn from his lessons. One thing is for certain Jr's desire to help people to have hope again, to have trust again, and to have self love. Again is palpable. So feel his heart.
[00:01:31] Please enjoy my conversation with Jr Martinez.
[00:01:35]Thank you so much for having me, man. It's a pleasure to be here.
[00:01:38]One thing I want to ask you from one man to another right away, you have the title of being a winner of dancing with the stars. so I'm curious, do you go to places, social situations and people right away to say yes, that was true. There's an incredible amount of pressure that comes with being on that show and then like winning the show.
[00:02:04] I can tell you a funny story that. shortly after I won the competition, I went to, I was invited to the white house correspondence dinner, and that was, that was that I was like, Oh, snap. Okay, cool. Like I'm here and afterwards there's an after party. So I have a handler, a guy that's helping me get from point a to point B.
[00:02:23] And we go to this after party and Funkmaster flex is the deal J and I'm like, yo, I am here. this is crazy where I'm at right now. Yeah, I have arrived and I'm standing next to the dance floor and I got a drink in my hand and I'm just chilling, man. I'm just kinda, just swaying back and forth, just talking to the handler and he's a cool dude.
[00:02:41] So we're here, we're just chatting it up, hitting it off. And all of a sudden, like the, Funkmaster flex an announcement, Oh, we got the winner of dancing with the stars. He's 13 and Jeremy Martinez, are you gonna, and everybody looks over. I, and they're like, ah, and he's come walk, come onto the dance floor, man.
[00:02:55] Come on, show us, shows us up, show us those moves. And I'm like this. Nah, I'm good. I'm good. I got I'm good. I'm just chilling. And so I just stand there and just hanging out. But then all of a sudden, there's this girl that, is doing she's like commanding the dance floor and nothing, and she's not doing anything professional.
[00:03:14] She's literally just whatever she feels she's doing, she's going with it. But you have those people that, you watch at a club or an event or whatever, and they're dancing and you know that they have no real rhythm, but the way that they dance. The people that have rhythm couldn't even do that because they're just feeling something and it's quirky, but it's fun.
[00:03:38] And everybody loves it because they don't care. And those are the things, people that I actually love watching, more than like the professionals, the people that have this beautiful style of dance. She comes up to me, man. And she starts doing all this stuff. Like almost like a battle. And then she like goes real low and does all this move.
[00:03:55] And all of a sudden the crowd is like, Oh, that was it. That was it, man. I was like, that's a wrap. I got to come out now. Sorry. I like, hold my drink. I come out there and we have a little battle. We're doing all this crazy stuff. We're not, I'm not even using any of the ballroom stuff that I learned for three months.
[00:04:12] Like I literally go back to running mans and shopping cards and, sprinklers and all of these other, moves. And all of a sudden she goes, she does this move and she goes real low. And I'm thinking to myself like, Oh, I can do that too. You're not going to show me up. So I go low and all of a sudden I hear it.
[00:04:31] And I was like, ah, okay. And play it off. Nothing happened. So I get back up, we ended wrap it up, but then I'm like, I'm going to go to the bathroom because something happened. I don't know what happened, but something happened. So I'm walking to the bathroom and one of Funkmaster flex his bodyguards.
[00:04:45] He's standing next to the DJ booth and he leans over and as I'm walking by, he's yo, my man, he taps me and I look at him and I'm like, yeah, what's up. And I lean in. He's yo. You split your pants in the back. And I was like, what? And he said, I can't, you split your pants out.
[00:04:59] That's fine. That's no big deal, man. It's no big deal. Cool. I go to the bathroom CK. I look in the BA in the mirror. my pants were split. No lie from the middle of my ass, all the way down to almost the back of my knee. That's how much I had my pants. So I was like, Oh, with a jacket, I'm gonna have to go back to the nineties and take the blazer off and tied around my waist.
[00:05:24] And I sat down the rest of the night. I didn't leave the party. I stayed there, but I literally sat down the rest of the night, which is the coolest thing that happened because then right after that, Dave Chappelle walked up to me. Oh, Dave Chappelle. Male walked up to me and I'm looking down, I'm texting my wife.
[00:05:40] I'm telling her what happened. And then literally I see a hand come in between me and the phone. and I look up and it's Dave, he's trying to shake my hand and he's yo, man, I loved you. I love your story. I love life. And we start kicking it like, so it was like crazy how this moment, where that caused me to sit my ass down.
[00:05:58] Brought me into face-to-face interaction with Dave Chappelle. It was crazy, man.
[00:06:03]I'm so enamored with the story. Let me see. There's a lot of different places we can go. You know what, let's just jump in. You imagine sitting where you were white house correspondence, dinner, hanging out with celebrities, dance battle with someone back into when you were 19 first joining the army. And then you're about to, get into a rebirth at that time. Going down, no.
[00:06:31] Or that even in a realm of possibility, even anything like that? No, never. never, never did I ever think into existence, speak into existence. This possibility of me. no, never, no, never. I never had that thought process. It never crossed my mind. when I joined the military at the age of 19 years old, I literally was coming from this place simply of I'm joining the military.
[00:07:01] This is what I'm doing in the military for, this is what I'm going to do. This is how long I'm going to be in the military. I'm going to get out and then I'm going to. Continue on with my life. my thought process was I was going to be in the army for three years and then I would get out at 22 years old or close to 22 years old.
[00:07:19] And then I would move on with my life. Never once thinking, man, never, honestly, never once that I think, Oh, I'm going to go into the entertainment space. Oh, I'm going to become an actor. I never had thoughts and bouts of that thought process. For me, it was all about I'm going to join the army.
[00:07:35] When I get out, when I'm 22 years old, I'm going to go to college. My thought process was I was going to play sports. That's what I wanted to do, but never did I ever think, man, that my life would take the turn that it did. but we'll get into this a little bit later. There is an example that I like to tell people that, there was a moment in my life where I started to learn how to speak things into existence.
[00:08:00] And I learned the power of your words. You are. How old were you learn this? to be honest, when I really paid attention to this, I was probably 25. Okay. So it was a 25. Yeah, it was a little bit later. It took me some time to really understand and learn. when I learn the true power of your words and your thoughts and your actions, and, Yeah, man.
[00:08:25]it, yeah. I used to get the question off that, like, when I did a lot of press and stuff, people would say, did you ever think, and I'm like, what? And I would jokingly say, of course I thought about this. Yeah, of course. I, of course this is what I thought was going to happen. just of course I didn't, I was too busy, one trying to, when I joined the military, trying to have an opportunity to give back and to serve.
[00:08:48] And then when I was injured, I was too busy trying to survive. That's all I can think of. And I couldn't, I literally had to eliminate this long-term pressure of what my life was going to look like in five years and 10 years in 15, I couldn't overwhelm myself with that. I had to pull it back and literally start with.
[00:09:05] The basics survive the day, find something in the day. And that model for me has continued to work through the year of 2020 when there was a lot of challenges through the previous years, when from a career standpoint, from a personal standpoint, there were a lot of challenges. When I suddenly found myself literally at being at the top, making a lot of money, being, doing all of these incredible things.
[00:09:31] And then all of a sudden, not getting any calls, not having any money, my relationship falling apart with my now wife. But back then, she wasn't my wife. I had to. There were a lot of things that I learned through this journey, man, and I'm excited to get into, sharing that with you and your audience.
[00:09:49] Yeah. thank you. so yeah, let's actually get into the metaphysical cause on those podcasts where we're pretty free about getting to the metaphysical as well. I would say anything that you see any invention that you see, any ideas? I have any human creations at some point. It was an idea in someone's head and it wasn't until they manifested into words, into designs, into actions, into conversation with others in and become manifest into material.
[00:10:21]during my younger days, I'm a PhD trained engineer. So I would dismiss the whole idea of, ideas to reality, speaking words into realities just to say it because I can't prove it, but having gone through many decades, live in my own life, of course. I can definitely, there is a lot in what you just said.
[00:10:44] Yeah, man. it's one of those things that. so I'll I'll give you, I'll give you some example, cause I'm sure people are like, what are you talking about? What did you do Jr? when I was 16 years old, I struggled with feeling like I belonged. I didn't feel like I had a community.
[00:10:58] I didn't feel like I had a. A place where I necessarily fit in just to give people a little bit of backstory on my life is that I was born in Louisiana, lived there for the first nine years of my life. During this first nine years of my life, I experienced a lot of adversity. My father left when I was nine months old, my mother being a single mother.
[00:11:16] Got involved in some abusive relationships was a victim of verbal and physical abuse. I witnessed all of that frequently. I was in, lived in a community where there were people that were drinking all the time. There was violence. There was, there was just, it wasn't the healthiest environment.
[00:11:31] And unfortunately that's the reality for a lot of children in the United States and around the world. at the age of nine, my mom picked me up and we moved to Arkansas and arriving at Arkansas at the age of nine. I always tell people about how, you talk about comfort zones, right?
[00:11:44] And so Louisiana, despite all of that adversity and challenges that I experienced, it was still my comfort zone because there was a lot of things that still brought me happiness and familiar rarity in that space. And suddenly I'm now in Arkansas and it's completely brand new. I'm not in the comfort zone.
[00:12:01] And I was one of the first Hispanic kids to arrive in this small town in Arkansas. I wasn't cool enough for the black kids. I wasn't cool enough for the white kids. And then more Hispanic kids started showing up and I wasn't cool enough to hang out with them. And so I found myself like, where do I belong?
[00:12:16] Where do I fit in? Then if I'm not good enough for any of these three demographics, where do I fit in? And it was challenging, man. And I can tell you that I struggled, I got my ass jumped for no reason. Just because they saw me as the lone Wolf, because I didn't have siblings. I didn't have uncles, I didn't have cousins like anybody else.
[00:12:33]I found myself constantly being harassed, literally by little gangs of, people, No kid should ever have to feel that when I was riding the bus home, I remember that one time sitting in the back of the bus and I looked out the back of the bus and I saw this car following the bus.
[00:12:49] And I knew those three guys that were probably in their late teens, early twenties. They were following the bus, waiting for me to get off the bus because they were going to jump me. And it was only because their cousin liked me. And I didn't like her. I was like, nah, I'm not, I don't like her back. So just because of that, and literally I got off the bus left and they rolled up on me and jumped me.
[00:13:15]that's the shit that I had to grow up in. And my mom had no idea because I knew my mom was four foot 11, she's small, but she's a Hispanic woman. And she would like, literally try to kill everybody. She would try to do some crazy stuff. And so I never told my mother because I knew that about her and.
[00:13:31] All of that took a toll on me, man. And I could tell you that at the age of 16 years old, I remember crying in my room one day, my mom found finding me in my room, crying, sitting on the edge of my bed and she said, what's wrong? And I told her, I don't feel like I have anybody that really cares about me. I told her sometimes I think about getting into a car accident, just to see how many people would show up just to find out how many people actually care.
[00:13:57] C K three years later, I was in a car in Iraq and I got into an accident. And guess what? I've found out how many people actually care. marinade on that for a second. As 16, I'm telling my mom, I have these visions, which could be suicidal thoughts, right? Those are, that's troubling. but I had this thought I almost of myself getting into a car accident just to see how many people care.
[00:14:29] And three years, fricking later after I spoke it happened in a very different way, but it still happened. And then I'm in a hospital the age of 19 years old recovery, and trying to figure out this new life of mine. And one of the things that we used to do in the evening with my mom is we would watch Spanish soap operas, which are called novellas.
[00:14:49] And we would sit there. And that was our bonding time, man. And those, I don't care if you speak Spanish or not, like you watch a novella, you can, you're going to get sucked in. And you're going to know what's going on. You're going to know who pissed off, who's backstabbing, who you're going to be pulled into the storyline.
[00:15:02] And so it was I, and I remember one day telling my mom, cause I'm always joking. I said to her, I was like one day I'm gonna be on a soap opera. And she said, ha. Oh yeah. And I was like, yeah, one day I might be able to sell harm and she's okay, what's the storyline going to be? I was like, I don't know.
[00:15:14] The storyline is going to be, I'm going to have this beautiful love interest. That's literally all I said, and we laughed about it. Whatever just kept moving. It was just me jokingly saying something five freaking years later, I was on a soap opera. power of words, the power of your thoughts.
[00:15:34]there is true power in that. And when I turned 25 and I found out about this opportunity to be on this soap opera, and then I found out that I got the opportunity, I got the job, I booked it. I suddenly was like, Oh, wait a minute. I said this five years ago, And then I started really thinking about, wait a minute, when I was 16, I said, this thing too, it happened in 19.
[00:15:55] Oh, okay. I got to start. I got to start talking a little bit more. I got to start speaking with intention. I have, or speaking with purpose. I can't just be running my mouth to run my mouth. I have to really understand what it is that I want. And once I was able to understand that. Then I believe, which is why I tell people, I believe.
[00:16:17] Yes. I believe in a higher power. I believe in God. I believe in that I know people on this listening right now believe in a variety of things and that's fine. That's on you for me, I believe in God. But I also have this belief that my mom used to say to me all the time as a kid, I knew that they get the URA, meaning the translation is she would always say, yeah, God's saying I'm going to help you, but help yourself.
[00:16:40] You got to do something too. You can't just sit here and be like, pray it up and kiss it up and just expect everything to just fall from the sky. Here comes the blessings. No, you got to put some work in as well. And that was something that I really took to heart and I understood that this is what I have to figure out.
[00:16:54] I have to figure out what it is that I want. I got to figure out the work that I got to put into it. And once I was able to make that assessment, I can tell you, see, K my life changed opportunities presented themselves. But the minute that I got away from that, they went away and I found myself broke from a financial standpoint, from a professional standpoint, from a personal standpoint.
[00:17:21]I was reckless man. I was, and this is after dancing with the stars. This is after I was at the height of everything. And I'm being completely vulnerable and transparent with you because I think it's the only way to really be impactful and effective with people is for them to understand that here's this dude that is this inspirational, positive dude, I get paid to do this.
[00:17:43] And there was a moment because I'm still a human being. And I got away from that because I got sucked into it. I got away from why I do what I do on a daily basis. When it became about the dollar when it became about being, the best and taking advantage of all these opportunities, I got away from it and I burnt myself out.
[00:18:03] Literally, no pun intended. I burnt myself out and then I had to be reminded. Jr. You gotta go back to you gotta go back to, Oh, no, you got to go back to the basics, man. Cause you've gotten away from that. Thank you for sharing that story. Very powerful. so let me do it, my style recap, then a follow up question, or
[00:18:23]what I heard you said is at 16, you said some words with your mom as a negative fantasy that you have.
[00:18:32] And I wonder how many people would show up at my funeral. I 19. You manifested in, a burning vehicle at 20, and then you, again, spoke to a mom jokingly about, Hey, I'm going to be in the soap opera novella. 25. And then a few, five years later, you became an actor and that's when you really realize the power of your words, the power of speaking with purpose, the power of speaking with intention, right?
[00:18:59] And then at 25 during that time, but you went away with that. Into, it was about chasing opportunities rather than focusing on purpose and the basics. Is that an accurate reflection? No. Yeah. Yeah. The only thing I would say that was different was at the age of 16. I didn't think that I would, I didn't want to die.
[00:19:19]I just went, it was like, I just wanted to be in the hospital, with a little injury just to see how many letters or people would show up to call. I definitely had self-esteem issues. I definitely had this level of filling in complete, incredibly disconnected, but yeah, you're right. that's exactly what I, yeah.
[00:19:35] . One burning question that I have right now, I didn't realize it just at that is, what is your purpose? My purpose is Y so my purpose is I want to influence people. that was one of the things that you and I discussed when you said, Jared, when do you want to get out of this?
[00:19:52] And I said, man, I just want to influence people. I want people to know that there is hope. I want people to know that you do matter. I want people to trust that you have to. Just give it time. You have to trust timing that you have to understand that there's a lot of things that you cannot control, and that is okay.
[00:20:09] That's where you have to let go. And so many of us need to learn that lesson, let go and trust somebody else to help you, whether it's a partner and I mean that an intimate partner or a business partner, or just receiving help that it's okay. And instead of trying to focus on controlling what you can't control, really, you can't, there's a lot of things I can't control you can't control.
[00:20:35] Nobody can control, but what we can control is how we show up every single day. What we can control is how are we willing to pay attention to our own self? So our own stuff, the, our own stuff that we need to work on and work through. That's what we got to pay attention to. And that's what we can control.
[00:20:53] And so for me, I just want to be able to like influence people. I want people, I want to share my life. Not because I'm narcissistic and it needs to be about me. No, I want to do it because I remember the feeling multiple times in my life, not only at 16, but also at 19 at 2021, 22, 23, 24. And when I say all of those years, I was injured at 19.
[00:21:13] I spent three years in the hospital. It was Rocky, it was rough. But then when I got out of the hospital, guess what? There was almost another three years. Of where now I had to deal with a different type of recovery and it constituted of mentally and emotionally. Now I was 22 years old, 21, 22, 23 years old.
[00:21:34] And guess what, man, I was getting the cost of rejection because all I wanted was to be successful and to impact people because that was my purpose.
[00:21:42] One of the things that I've discovered in the military that I never knew until I joined the military was this notion of service. This notion of being a part of something that's bigger than you and I fell in love with that idea of service.
[00:21:55] And I wanted to continue to pursue that, but it was taken away from me because of my injury. So I was able to discover that I can serve in a completely different capacity outside of the uniform, but all I kept experiencing was rejection. Rejection from people that would say, no, we're not going to have you speak at our company or at this luncheon, because we don't really understand the value you would bring.
[00:22:16]there was this cost that hesitation and all that did was just pushed me into this place of, I'm experiencing rejection. I'm experiencing rejection. I was drinking, I was driving reckless. I was drinking. I was driving sometimes while I had been drinking. I'm not proud of those things.
[00:22:31] Shit, man, I could have literally ended someone else's life. I could have ended my own. I literally could have fallen into the unfortunate category that a lot of veterans are in. And so for me, I don't, yeah, the world looks a lot different in 2020, and prior to everything that is going on, I was on the road, I'm sure.
[00:22:49] Similar to you. I was on the road. I was in front of people and I loved that opportunity to be in front of people and to talk to people. But I can tell you that also.
[00:23:00] Whether it's this platform or whether it's live in front of people or whether it's me writing you a letter, it doesn't matter a post on social media. You're going to feel my heart. You're going to feel my passion. You're going to feel my desire to want to live and to be successful. And now my definition of success is a lot different than what it was 10 years ago.
[00:23:21] But, you're going to feel that because I know my why. And that's the challenge to everybody else listening right now is okay, you wa you want to have a product. You want to be successful. You want to have all of these things. I get that, but why do you want to be this person? Why do you want to be that impactful?
[00:23:36] And when you're able to figure out that answer, no matter what life throws at you, you're always going to be connected to your why, and that's, what's going to drive you. And that's, what's going to remind you that it's important for you to continue to do what you're doing. Yeah. Thank you for sharing your story.
[00:23:50]one of the main re the moment you open your mouth, the moment you started sharing a story, it's a palpable feeling that I receive who you are, your desire to serve your passion for life. this is burning, this fire that you have within you. To give and, I don't know if you've ever read the five languages of love.
[00:24:12]Okay, good. So in my mind, everything that we do for each other is currency of love. And in your words, You've if people who are aware and listening and then they can receive like this person is genuine. He wants to serve, he wants to help. And as he's warm and he's authentic, he's vulnerable, he's open.
[00:24:33] So anyone who is who's aware will receive that right away. So immediately I knew Hey man, I really want it. Can I get, could I have Jr podcasts?
[00:24:45]man, w when you talk about the five love languages, which I have the book somewhere here in the office, I know it's here. I was told to read it a few years ago by my best friend.
[00:24:52] And when I read it, I'm still looking for it while we're talking. But, when I read it, I was like, Oh, wow. And I believe that every person should read that book. Every person should understand every single one of those five love languages. And not because of, not only for you to understand. Your spouse, your partner and people in your life personally, but also from a leadership standpoint, it's incredibly important for those lessons really convert into understanding.
[00:25:24]if you have a business or if you're a leader or if you're, or just any person, it doesn't matter. You don't have to have a business. every single one of us have the opportunity to be leaders and we are every single day. It's important to read that book so you can understand, Oh, this is why this is what I need in my life.
[00:25:43] This is what I'm looking for in my life. And then from there, you can then understand, you can take the inventory of people in your life and essentially assess, okay, when Jr needs this. I know I can go to C, K and C K will give me that because that's within CKS wheelhouse. He has that ability, that potential to give me that thing that I need, but if I need something else and I'm going to see, Kay, we'll see, Kay is not equipped for that.
[00:26:09] So now I'm constantly putting this pressure on you CK. You got it, man. Come on, man. I need this. And you guys like, I can't help you, man. I don't know. And then all of a sudden I'm becoming overwhelmed versus what I should be doing. And if I've done the work I can say, okay, CK is not for this.
[00:26:22] I'm going to go to my wife for that. I'm going to go to my best friend for that. I'm going to go to my daughter for this, right? everybody it's no different. When you look at a business, everybody has a title. Everybody has a specialty. Everybody has an expertise. That's essentially life and reading that book.
[00:26:43] Not only was I able to, Oh, there it's right there. It's right in front of me. It was literally right in front of me the whole time I'm sitting there looking around, like, where's it? Yeah, it's right there. once I read that book, it allowed me to understand how to have a better relationship with my wife, better relationship with my daughter, better relationship with my friends, better relationship with people that I come in contact with because I'm quickly able to understand this is what drives this person.
[00:27:10] What matters to this person is positive affirmations. Madison, this person is quality time. What matters to this person? Acts of kindness. I'm able to go through the five and be like, Oh, this person probably loves this. So I need to be able to meet them there with that thing. So it all, it's always man, about how much self-assessment are you willing to do?
[00:27:34] And the self-assessment is going to get dark and it's going to get ugly, but if you're willing to do it and ride it out and read all of the feedback that you find, the reward is incredible.
[00:27:47] Yeah, in this podcast, we talk a lot about the whole idea of shadow work. I don't know if you've ever heard that phrase before.
[00:27:53] So Carl, you talked about, here's what we're conscious of and I delight, and whenever those light, it casts a shadow, right? Anything that you're unconscious off that drives you still. Those are your shadows. So we actually focus a lot on, Hey, like what kind of work can we do? Such that we are more aware the shadow that unknowingly drives us.
[00:28:14] And if we can integrate it, guess what? We get our power back. Guess what? We can now be more cognizant about it and speak with more intention and with more consciousness versus something triggers me, blah, I'm just reacting to someone. definitely. Yeah. it's, you start to realize, and what I've realized is that I have these moments where being a father, I get annoyed with my daughter, right?
[00:28:39]let's just, I'll throw an example out. Like my daughter, typical kid, Sometimes doesn't want to eat her veggies. Doesn't want to finish all her food. Sometimes waste food. And I get upset and I'm like, Hey, and I give her the whole spill that every parent gives. Most parents give, there's kids, like around the world, inside of the world and outside of the country and South of town that, would love to have that food, blah, blah, blah.
[00:29:00] And I get upset about it. And I have to, I finally have come to the point where I'm able to realize why that bothers me so much, and it's not her. She's just the reminder and the trigger that's triggering this feeling, but it comes, it stems from something else. It stems from my upbringing. It stems from what my mother said to me.
[00:29:21] It stems from all of that. So I'm taking it out on her, but it's not really her responsibility. And the minute that we're able to do that and to understand that work, we're able to remove this pressure and this blame to the cost, to the people that we constantly come in contact with, because that's what we do.
[00:29:39] CK says something to me. And I'm like snapping at you. And the reality is yo, why? I, he didn't even say it wasn't even as serious what he said to me. But you would think that you just literally told me you're going to kill everybody in my family, the way that I'm responding to you. But it's not really what you said.
[00:29:54] It's all these years of people saying this stuff to me and this feeling all these years of this feeling just compiling. And now it's forced me to react to you in this. Really negative way. And and all of us do it. Shit. Like you get on the road and people like losing their minds and road rage.
[00:30:13]all of us do it. why does that bother you so much? Why does it bother you that somebody cut you off? it bothers you probably because you've you, then it quickly interpret that person as selfish. You quickly interpret that person as I'm just going to worry about me, right?
[00:30:27] Selfish. I'm just going to do what? I don't care if I inconvenienced somebody else. Now, does that necessarily remind you of your mother, your father, your sibling, your spouse, your former spouse, your children, your business partner, government, like you start going on to all these different places. Like all these places, all these people are selfish and they don't care.
[00:30:50] And so you start responding and reacting to that person as if they were the ones, then the only ones to ever do that harm to you. And they're not, they probably didn't even see you. They probably like, Oh, I didn't even see you in the mirror. I'm sorry. They probably would apologize, but you didn't give them an opportunity to, because you just snapped at them, honking at them, flipping them off, just being around them.
[00:31:14] I had, a Vietnam veteran, that was on my podcast once and he had him on. And when he w he was a pow and he was a pow prisoner war for six years. Wow. And he talked about, this element of forgiveness. and this element of forgiving the enemy, forgiving the government for choosing to be a Vietnam forgiving the, he was a pilot for giving the mechanics that worked on the plane that malfunction and forgiving everybody.
[00:31:47]Giving the people that were torturing him during this camp for giving all of, and he said that what allowed him to get to this place of forgiveness was this. That this was shared with him while he was in the earliest days of him being a prisoner of war. And it was by another pow in the camp.
[00:32:06] And he said, acid does more harm in the vessel where it's stored then on the subject where it's poured. And I'm going to pause a little bit, cause I want people to really think about what I just said.
[00:32:26] It's gonna eat you up and kill you more because you have it inside of you, then you pouring it on somebody else spew in it, on somebody else because somebody else is going to be like, Hey, all right, cool. I'm going to either let it just wash off of me depending on where they are in life. And I'm not even gonna put in attention to it because I understand that it's not really about me.
[00:32:47] It's really about what you got to work through or. Someone's like that hurt me. And I'm just going to distance myself from you. But at the end of the day, it's going to live inside of you for as long as you allow it to. And that is the thing, man. trust me when I use the example of road rage, that's me, I'm talking about, I'm talking about me.
[00:33:09] I'm talking about I'm that dude that gets on the road and gets pissed off when people do something like even this morning, for example, This morning, I was driving with my wife. We were going dropped off our daughter at school. And when I have some time, I'll say to her, Hey, listen, let's go grab a coffee.
[00:33:24] Kind of have a little day, date, morning, date, whatever it is. And so we go, and I see there's workers pulled over on the side of the road and, they're going to do some work on this house, but then there's a guy that literally next to that, to those to that car pulls up to them and is like literally in the middle of the road, blocking the road.
[00:33:45] And so as I'm going around this dude, I'm like, I literally have every explicit you can think of read, like I'm like how F and selfish of him, like how often selfish of him, yo pull over, you can literally pull over in front of that car, Like, why would you think that it makes sense to stop right here in the middle of the road where now traffic, two lanes.
[00:34:03] Can't like, what the hell? And my wife was like, yo, you stress me out. She says, yeah, but. Kinda like calm. I got to pull myself. We just say voice of reason. Yeah. But I got to pull myself back, man, because I realize, Oh, that person in that driver's seat doing that reminds me of my mom. My mom because of the life and the trauma and the struggle that she had, my mom has become this person that really doesn't even pay attention anymore to what you are going through and your pain and your struggle.
[00:34:33] She cares too much about her own, and she cares too much about trying to find ways to help herself deal and what comfort she can find. Yeah. And that hurts me. My relationship, my mother is essentially broken right now. And it still hurts me, even though I've created boundaries, even though I've gone to therapy and I've learned how to deal with it and learned that, Hey, listen, there's only so much I can do.
[00:34:56] It's still there's these little reminders over the course throughout my day in the world. And that dude was one of them.
[00:35:03]So I wanted to actually zooming on, let's say someone who said, I'm going to make a commitment. I'm going to forgive, whatever traumas were stresses or the past that I've had.
[00:35:16] But how do I do that? Because these, in my mind, this type of lessons are life lessons. We don't stop. You just continue to love, continue to forgive, continue to expand our mind and our hearts and our, service. and, but how do you do it? That's the challenge. So for you, for Jr, or for the pow, veteran that you had spoken about, could you share some tactical advice?
[00:35:45] As a way to, Oh, if you want to forgive here's one or two or three things that you could do every day or every quarter, et cetera. Yeah. I think, there are a couple thoughts come to my mind. and I asked the listener right now to bear with me as I kind of work through my thoughts, but the exercises that I've frequently have done.
[00:36:06] And I've only gained more knowledge and experience on how to do those things. For example, I'm currently going to college. I decided a few years ago I wanted to go to college, just a personal goal, and I wanted to learn some more stuff about life and just the world. And one of the things that really fascinates me is psychology.
[00:36:27] So I dive into psychology. I'm taking psychology courses. And remember, I remember the first psychology course that I took was called personality. Yeah. It was literally learning about all these different personality traits. And I remembered that once I started to dive in and read chapter of a chapter and learn all of these different personality traits and why people do what they do, I suddenly was able to have a different understanding and empathy and compassion towards people that.
[00:36:58] I have felt that have hurt me because I was able to then understand that, Oh wow. They've been through something themselves. And probably prior to that chorus, what I had done is I removed the whole human element. I removed the human element that, Oh, that is a human being. That isn't somebody, that's a robot that was just created, invented to do this harm.
[00:37:24] This is a human being that has been programmed over the course of experiences in life and traumas. Oh, that's a human being that bleeds and feels and thinks the same thing and desires the same thing that I want. So for me, what I frequently have to do as I, what I have to frequently remind myself that is a person that is a human being.
[00:37:51] That is a human being that has been through their own adversities. The second thing I have to do is, I have to, I frequently say to myself, like Jr, it is not your responsibility to fix and take on other people's, weight. I don't have to bear that responsibility. It is okay for you Jr.
[00:38:17] To set up boundaries. It is okay for you to Jeremy to say, no, not today. I can't do that. I can't do that today. I can't do that next month. I can't do that in a year, but I can meet you here if you're willing to meet me there. So for me, it's just this constant reminder that one people are human beings. And once you're able to understand why that person.
[00:38:40]for example, like my mom, I keep bringing up my mom because that is probably one of the biggest things that I had faced in my life. my mom was sexually abused as a child. A mother was given away by her parents. my mother was physically abused as a child. My mother, obviously experienced abandonment with her parents, giving her away.
[00:39:01] Then she reconnects with my grandfather, her father. When early twenties, she starts to develop a little bit of a relationship with him, and then she witnesses him being killed. so now once again, she's experienced loss. I, my mother had three kids total. One of them passed away from an illness that she was born with.
[00:39:20] My mother's lost the child. Once again, she's experienced loss. My father abandoned me, abandoned her. Once again, she's experienced loss. She continues to experience loss in different relationships. The only consistent thing that has ever been in her life was me for 18 years of my life. I was the only consistent thing that was in her life.
[00:39:39] I was her lifeline. I kept her breathing. I kept her blood pumping her heart pumping until the day that I also was almost taken away from her. So she almost experienced loss again. Now she did, because I wasn't the same person I was for 19 years of physically, the way that I looked and also the person that I started to evolve into.
[00:40:01] I was growing up. I was forming my own philosophies and beliefs and values. So she did technically lose something. So when my mother now, because of her fear of loss, She S she, a defense mechanism for her is to let me attack first, before I can experience any pain before they can do any pain to me. And it doesn't necessarily mean they're going to hurt me.
[00:40:29] I just have to tell myself that because that's my defense mechanism. I have to prepare, I have to hit first before they can hit me because I'm already wounded. And I can't afford to take another shot. Cause then I die. So literally this war tactic of, I have to hit you first. I have to eliminate the threat, what I perceive as the threat.
[00:40:49] So painful. Yeah, exactly. So my mother had, has done this with me and I had to CK get to a point where I'm like, I was on this merry-go-round I was on this cycle. And it just bothered me and affected me. And I had to finally through therapy, man. I had to literally go to therapy cause I was like, I can't do anything.
[00:41:10]And it's because like my best friend says, all I'm doing is sitting there at the grand Canyon with the little water pistol. when you have a little water pistol that a little bit of water comes out, I'm sitting at the grand Canyon trying to flip the grand Canyon with his water pistol.
[00:41:24] He's it's never going to happen in your lifetime. And I'm sitting there just night. I could get there. If I get two water pistols thinking, I get more water comes out. You're never going to fill that void. You're never going to fill that void. And so when I took that philosophy course or a psychology course, sorry, I was able to then understand.
[00:41:45] Okay. I understand. So now I have compassion towards my mother. I empathize, but it doesn't necessarily mean I have to take part in it. Yeah. you're speaking to someone who is a recovering people, pleaser, because I want to serve so much and I wanted to, make sure that everyone is taken care of.
[00:42:03] So I would do my best to say yes and open my heart. And at the same time on this podcast, we'll also talk about, Open up open mind, open heart, open hand, and spiritual spine as well. Like how do you maintain your boundary, developing that spine?
[00:42:22]I'm curious to know from your perspective, because your desire to serve is obvious to anyone who's watching and listening.
[00:42:29] What concrete ways do you use as a way to set your boundary or is this still an ongoing challenge? Now that you were in you set boundaries so that you can serve, but within, your terms rather than allowing people to overstep their bounds. Yeah. So first I'll be completely transparent.
[00:42:51] It is still an ongoing process. It is still something that I am learning. I had a guy tell me when I was about 24 years, 23, 24 years old. we worked together. he was the head of a PR firm that did a lot of work with a nonprofit that I did work with and I was a spokesman for the nonprofit and, W we were one day after an event, we were having dinner and just having drinks and just hanging out.
[00:43:15] And he just stoically looked at me and said, you know what? Your problem is Jr. I was like, what the hell does that mean? Where's this coming from? It's like one of those things where Oh, he's had one too many drinks, he's going South. We're about to Duke. And I was like, what's my problem.
[00:43:31] And he says, your problem is that if you went and got a pizza, You would show up to a party with a pizza and you would give everybody else a slice and you wouldn't eat a slice. There would be no slices for you. I was like, and in my mind I was, I got very defensive and I'm thinking to myself like, isn't that the right thing to do, to please, and to give to other people, like at the expense of your own health, right?
[00:43:59]yeah. So screw you for being a selfish person as well. My thought process was. I later realized what he was implying is that, like you just said, being a recovering people, pleaser, which I love that phrase. And I, and you should definitely continue to find ways to push that out because there's so many people that can relate to that.
[00:44:17] There's a community for people that fall into that category, but I'm still learning that, Hey, I don't always have to say yes, I can say no. And it is important for me to put boundaries up. And I think the way that I, when I have those moments, That want to force me where I started or guilt is used against me.
[00:44:39] And I start to try to go back to that place. What I'm reminded of myself. I remind myself of no, Jr. It's okay for you. It's okay for you to know your worth and know what's important to you. It's okay for you to get off of this. Merry-go-round get off this unhealthy carousel. It is not your responsibility.
[00:44:59] You will help anybody that is willing to be helped. But if you're not willing to be helped then Jr. There's nothing you can do. And I always have to remove, when someone says something to me that is attacking me, I always have to remind myself it's not about me. It's it doesn't mean that I just go through life and I'm just like, Nope, I'm perfect.
[00:45:22] I did everything right. No, it doesn't mean that. It just means when people were literally attacking me. When I know that I have done nothing wrong. And there's a history and a pattern of this behavior. I have to remind myself, it's not about me. Once again, I'm having to fill the grand Canyon, somebody else's grand Canyon with the water pistol.
[00:45:40] It's CK. I told you this story, that when I used to live in New York city, I'm in Austin now. But when I lived in New York city, there was one day I was going into, Manhattan. We lived in long Island city and I was going to Manhattan and I wasn't in a rush for the one, one time, many years that I lived there, I wasn't in a rush.
[00:45:56] And because I was early and I was going down the platform, the stairs to go catch the train. And I was just kinda, off to the side of the stairway. And all of a sudden I heard like the, I heard the train was coming, but I was like, I didn't need to rush. I was fine. I had plenty of times I'll catch the next one.
[00:46:13] No big deal. So I just casually just walking down the steps. All of a sudden this dude like comes charging behind me down the stairs and he like shoulder checks me. As he's coming down the stairs, he shoulda checks me. He and I didn't fall, but I stumbled off to the side. yo, he, I come around the corner and as I come around the corner and I, pay to enter, I see him standing there and he's like this, Oh man, like he missed the train.
[00:46:41] So I walk up, I walked by and I was like, man, if you would have knocked me down, you would've had a better shot at making, making it to the train. And he was like, what'd you say to me? And I was like, if you would've knocked me down, instead of just shoulder checking me, if you would've just straight up, just knocked me down.
[00:46:57]you probably would have had it. Wouldn't have slowed you down. It would've, you would've been able to keep the momentum and you would've made the train. And he says, man, get out of my face, man. use the explicit, get out of my face. And I was like, listen, I'm not in your face. First of all.
[00:47:11] And second of all, you asked me what I told you. So I just told you what'd you ask me to do. And as I start to walk away, I said, listen, man, just because you're having a shitty day, doesn't mean you got to take it out on everybody else. That's not our problem. I walked away. Next train comes. He gets on his side.
[00:47:28] I get on my side. At the next stop. I see them get off the train and he comes into my cart like where I'm at. and he walks up to me and he says to me, man, I told myself that if you were still on this train at the next stop, I was going to come over to you and apologize. He says, I thought about what you said and you're right.
[00:47:46] I am having a bad day and right. It isn't anybody else's responsibility. It's mine. And I said, listen, man, I respect you one for acknowledging that so quickly. It too, man. that's, our natural instinct is to try to like, to feel better about ourselves by just releasing this in some way, shape or form.
[00:48:08] And it doesn't mean it's always healthy. I was like, that's what we all had to be mindful of, man. That's the work that we have to make sure that we're mindful of, that we're not spewing hate and anger and pain towards people that don't deserve it. They aren't the origin. They aren't the source of our, of the pain.
[00:48:27] So why am I giving it to you, giving it to somebody else? And so for me, man, like that's a, long-winded answer to your question and like where I'm just, it's still an ongoing process, but I'm always reminding myself. it's not always my responsibility and there's only so much that I can do and I have to remove guilt.
[00:48:50] I have to remove. This notion that I have to sacrifice my own health because I have to take care of me, not only for me, because my life matters for me, my life matters, but also my life matters to my wife. My life matters to my daughter and whatever future children we have, like my life matters.
[00:49:11] So I can't allow myself to be taken down by someone else that feels like they're falling. I'll reach out and hold you. But you're not going to pull me down with you.
[00:49:23] Thank you. Yeah. I'm actually very curious because this story you share, it seems a lower paradoxical to what you, the lesson you're giving here.
[00:49:34]let me actually contextualize that a little bit. If someone comes to me and asking for advice, Could you give it if it's within, my wheelhouse, as you earlier, right? but I've learned over the years, not to, be the Messiah and then give it advice on solicited because one, then they're going to receive it anyway.
[00:49:55] And two I'm just like an asshole. give him, tell him if he thought it lived their lives. So to speak, I'm curious, That man chucked, you show the check to you. He didn't ask for your feedback yet. You still were willing to, ha and also have the courage to speak your mind or your truth. Most other people would have just said nothing or, as the conscious community was a sending them, like I love, but still said nothing.
[00:50:24]So I'm curious to know. What compel you to actually say something and ask this question specifically? Because some people feel is within their divine responsibility to, shine the light, like in a verbal way. Versus some others just feel like, Hey, let me do the Metta meditation and just send them love and light intuition while so I'm curious to know how you navigate that within your mind.
[00:50:50] Yeah, it's tough, man. Because my best friend who has been my mentor, who's been the one that's allowed me to turn the corner. He's the first one. That's you don't always have to say something like you don't always have to say something, man. And my wife is the same thing. Why do you always feel like you have to tell somebody like, why do you want me to get it?
[00:51:14]dude, I'm the guy that'll literally go to a coffee shop. And if somebody that's helped that works, there has this bad energy. I got to say something to them. Interesting. like I'm that dude. Like I'm like the stereotype, like old man that feels like he has to say something to everybody.
[00:51:29]I'm the old man trapped in this young man's body right now. I can't even imagine what I'm going to be like when I'm actually like old bag. Yeah. Give it a fuck. No filters. I would have been the dude, like in the movie where watch out for that old man. And he's going to fucking tell you everything about yourself, right?
[00:51:48]I'm that guy now. And the reason I do that and the reason why it's so hard for me, CK, literally, it's so hard for me to just, close my eyes and meditate, or just send them light and love is because, and this is, I struggle with this is because I almost lost my life. Like I literally.
[00:52:17] Was at the verge of dying re and I guess all of us can say that, right? Like you get on a plane, you get in the car or you walk down the street. you're cutting vegetables. Like all of us can, technically be on the verge of dying, but I literally was almost gone. And I think because of that urgency, Because my life was spared.
[00:52:42] I have this urgency to me of wanting to help and try to help people recognize certain things about life that I believe I know because I don't want them to have to potentially die. I would be close to dying to figure those things out. I don't want them to have 3,400 of their body and their face being burned in order for them to just have this awakening.
[00:53:09] If I can come to them in a very easy, soft, approachable way and say, Hey, listen, I just want to bring this to your attention. Hey, it's I get it, but you might want to think about it this way, just saying. Peace and love to you have a great day. Oh, okay. So you deliver it like that. I deliver it like that.
[00:53:26] Yeah. I don't come at them. like aggressive. Yeah. I don't like that guy that was on the road, he didn't hear what I said. Like I kept my window up and I kept it inside, but I come to people and I always feel like, Hey man, listen, I'm just telling you.
[00:53:37] I'm just telling you, Hey, you do with this, what you wish, but I'm telling you might want to think about this and. but still like my P the closest people that know me the best always say, Jerry, you don't always have to say something. and I, and it's a battle with me, man, because I have to literally analyze, I have to analyze, okay, in this moment, right now, I'm in this situation where I'm experienced in somebody that is that I feel like I want to say something too.
[00:54:04] And I have to analyze, I have to use my judgment and say, Do I really believe even if I came to this person from a place of love and peace, are they really going to receive it? Are they going to take it another way? And, and that's, this is a case by case that I have to roll with man, but I just, I said something to a girl.
[00:54:23] I went to Starbucks once in the cashier and, was helping me and literally I rolled up and she was just on her phone and I'm standing right there at the register. And I was just looking at it, I'm here, Hey, customer, employee, that's cool. how this transaction goes. You acknowledge that I'm here and then we start this transaction.
[00:54:42]So she, then she finally looks up. I didn't even do anything. I just stood there. Very passive, aggressive, And she finally looks up, but she's how can I help you? And I was like, yeah. And it was, it was late at night. It was obviously pre COVID. And I had, I was in this airport and I said, you didn't have any tea.
[00:54:57] I wasn't feeling as if you have any tea. And I couldn't really see the teas. And there was far away and she's yeah, we have teas. We had this. And I was like, all right, is there a way that either you have the little folder or the little sheet that tells me, or maybe we can slow that down a little bit?
[00:55:11]is I didn't catch any? And she's yeah, sure. Here. And she gives me like the little printout of all the teas and whatever, and there's just a meaner throughout this whole transaction was just like, just I don't want to be here. I don't like this. this is not what I want to be doing with my life.
[00:55:24] I there's other important things. And so I placed my order. She comes and she hands me my tea. And I said, Hey, can I offer up offer up something real quick? And she was like, excuse me. And I was like, listen, and I get into this whole spill, listen, I get it. This is might not be what you wanted to do with your life.
[00:55:45] I understand that. But at the end of the day, you have to be. Open to where you actually are, because you never know the spaces that you occupy, what blessing, what thing is going to be presented to you. So instead of you being on your phone, Like, why don't you look up? Why don't you have a smile? Why don't you understand the value that you can have an impact on somebody else's life I'm having a crappy day right now?
[00:56:14] I don't feel good, which is why I'm ordering tea. Your energy literally could have changed that around for me, but instead your energy and the way you went through this whole transaction, put me in a little bit of now I'm talking to you about this and I go into this whole thing. And I just said, listen, I'm just offering that up.
[00:56:30] You do what that, what you wish, I'm not saying you have to change your life and I'm not saying I'm reporting. I'm not saying any of those things you do with that, what you wish she received it? She said, I appreciate that because my thing is that I always say to my wife, when my wife says, why do you always have to open your mouth and say something body?
[00:56:50] Why I stayed at her? If I don't say something who will. Who will the guy sent from
[00:57:04] I'm sent from above, this is my duty flying into the frame. Like it's but but again, like I have this thing, man, where. when you talked about like, when you use the example, like if somebody comes to you and ask for advice, okay, you'll offer it up. But if I'll do that too.
[00:57:20] But if someone keeps coming back to me, keeps coming back to me, keeps coming back to me. I finally have to get to a point where I'm like, okay, all right. Like I got the invite to come to the party the first couple of times, and I came, but I don't want to keep coming to this party. Because you're stuck on this thing and what I have learned that most of the time, what people really just want is for you to listen to them.
[00:57:49] They don't always need you to say whatever knowledge you have. And I think that is the most, being a noble warrior. I think that's one of the biggest, and the hardest lessons to learn is that. It's Jr. People. Aren't always saying things to you because they need you to run your mouth. They need you to stop and listen, and to just validate what they are going through, what they're experiencing.
[00:58:13] Can we do that? And yeah, once I started to, I'm still learning this, right? Like it's still, again, I think one of the hardest things, because my inclination is to want to help people and feel that I can help you work through this. But I have learned and still learning that it is equally important to just be present and to always be present and to always be supportive and to not just say, if you don't do it on my timetable, then get the hell out of my face and they'll come back to me again because I'm tired of, I'm tired of you wasting my time.
[00:58:47] That's not what it's about then. Yeah. Then I'm doing it for the wrong reasons because I should be able to authentically come from a place of love and say, listen, if you want to hit me up, Tomorrow and talk about the same thing and the same struggles on the same concerns hit me up. I'm here. You have to unconditionally be able to support, show up for people.
[00:59:05] And that is honestly something that I'm still learning how to do.
[00:59:08] Yeah. For people who are watching this Jarrod and I were talking about. Human dynamics, right? The relationship dynamics.
[00:59:18] And on the one hand they may be, Oh, this has nothing to do with business, but let me contextualize for you. being human is all about relationships ultimately. And a lot of the time we say on this podcast, we make what we are. So number one, if you hold resentment, if you hold. Any kind of negative energy within you guess what it's going to show up in amplifying ways in your organization because you can't help it.
[00:59:50] The blind spots that you have within yourself is going to show up within your organization. I've just had too many, incidents and seeing entrepreneurs going through the same thing and they don't see what they don't see. And, and they fuck it up. We know, and one they're like, Hey, why did I fuck up, word?
[01:00:08] Cause because you didn't resolve any kind of negative charges within you. That's why it shows up in that way. so part of, a lot of what we're discussing here is very much relevant to what you do in life and your relationship and your family and your business.
[01:00:22] Cool. So segue a little bit, the art of conversation.
[01:00:27] I know that you started your podcast, rebirth, beautiful, listened to your last few episodes. You are a great storyteller. And can you share with us a little bit about what's it like to be the host versus, that impulse to tell stories? Because I find myself, if I listen back to all of my podcasts, I contextualize too much.
[01:00:50] Cause I want to like LoRaWAN and tell the story. So I'm curious to know, like, how are you navigating the art of conversation? I think that's, yeah. Thank you for that question, man. I think it's. It's part of what I've experienced in the last 17 years since I've been injured and part of what I'm still learning, both of those worlds coming together and this form of the podcast.
[01:01:17] What I mean by that is for 17 years, I have met a lot of incredible individuals from all walks of life. Whether I met them for one hour on a flight or at an event, or I've known them for X amount of years. And every single one of these individuals that I've come across, I believe were literally individuals that came to my life as guides, as people that were just trying to make me hyper aware of what I needed to be aware of.
[01:01:46] I've learned a lot from a lot of people. I believe that a lot of what I'm saying to you today is a reflection of all of those people along with experiences, of course. What I am still learning today as to my previous remark about learning to just literally be present and listen. That's what I've done over the 17 years.
[01:02:11] When I've interacted with people, I've spent a lot of time listening. I've spent a lot of time just observing people's behavior, their patterns, their body language, what they say. I spent a lot of time reflecting on experiences that I too have had with certain people that have maybe said something, but then never necessarily followed that model of that pattern, that behavior.
[01:02:38] So with that being said, now me being in the hosting position, when I'm usually in this position, For me, it's I want to continue to learn as much as I possibly can from you. So if you're on my show, I just want to, I just want to listen to everything and anything you have to share. So it, it for me is okay, what, why did I want to speak to this individual?
[01:03:07] What did I think that this individual, so it's let me help get that out of that person, but then let me just sit back and listen and learn. And I think a lot of that stems from my natural instinct of being just as curious individual, I am an incredibly curious person, very curious. I want to know.
[01:03:26] Why does CK, like how does CK develop this knowledge? How did, what was his experience? what did that feel like? What, man? What is that like? Oh, when you experience, yeah. I want to know all of those things and selfishly it's my way of learning. It's my way of still getting something from other people who I perceive as guides to my life.
[01:03:51] And. Are given me, lessons and I believe that we can all learn something from each other. I really do believe that. And you don't need a degree. You don't need, a certification to validate that your experience. Hello. And I was 19 years old or 20 years old when I walked into patient's room and started talking to a patient.
[01:04:11] And literally that experience changed my whole life. And. I didn't have a degree. I didn't have a certification. I wasn't necessarily qualified when you look at, so let me ask you this question. have you heard of the Pareto principle, 80 20 rule? So the whole idea of the 80 20 principle is anything in life.
[01:04:35]Almost universally 80% of the results comes from 20% of the action. so if you look at your, let's say your revenue chances are one product line chance, generate 80% of the results. So assuming that's true, speaking, communicating, listening is your craft.
[01:04:56] What would you say is the 80 20 principle for someone who like me want to be a better communicator? I mean listening. I think for me, the ability to sit down and just listen to somebody speak, to fully find myself being present and then to. cause I constantly tell people like you need to listen, you need to pay attention to people, pay attention to the signs, pay attention to the world, pay attention.
[01:05:30] Don't look for the big reveal. Look for the, the kind of eye level. Like I said, I was in there looking around my whole office. Where's this book and this huge bookshelf that I have of all these books. And I'm like, Oh, the book was right there the whole time. And that's essentially what we do with life.
[01:05:42] And so for me, like I spend. I think I spend maybe it's 20% of my time listening, and I think 80% of what comes is what I learn. And that 20% of the time I apply 80% of the time. I believe that it manifests itself and results of where I get opportunities now to speak. I get opportunities to share.
[01:06:03] I get opportunities to, to partner with people. I can't emphasize that enough. I think people have this concept, this perception, that being a communicator means that you're always the storyteller and sometimes your role on the story is literally just to be a supporting character.
[01:06:19] You're not always meant to be the main, the lead role, You're meant to be the supporting, character, the actor that has no lines. And the show you're supposed to just literally walk in the back, that's it. But you needed that person to walk in the background. And yeah, I think for me, I love telling stories.
[01:06:41] I believe everybody has a story. I love being a communicator. I love, I love this opportunity to have conversation and to learn from you right now. and so this I'm going to take everything that I've gathered from this conversation. And even if you didn't say anything necessarily that like sticks with me, I've said something and I've said something that maybe I can go back and, marinade on it a little bit.
[01:07:09] I can go back and be like, Oh, Jera, why'd you say that? Or what did you mean by that? Or Jared, expand on that a little bit. And I've spent a lot of time reflecting. I spent a lot of time, I'll say something and I'll go back and think about why did I say that? Or what did I mean by that? How do I articulate that better?
[01:07:26] Somebody else said it this way. Oh, it makes more sense. so I just spend as a communicator and as somebody who, is perceived oftentimes as being a good communicator, I think, what I've learned is like, it doesn't necessarily mean you always have to be the voice that's heard in the room.
[01:07:44] And I think that from a leadership standpoint, that's incredibly important. I think people have this perception that if you're a leader in a company or in your family, that you always have to be the one that has all the answers and has to be the voice that is heard in the room. And it's not true.
[01:08:01]you, to be an exceptional leader, you have to be willing to actually sit back and say, I don't have all of the answers. I'm going to sit back in this space that I'm in right now. And I'm going to turn it over to my team. I'm going to turn it over to my friends and family and let them be the ones to kind of voice.
[01:08:17] And you listen, my father-in-law always said, he said, He, he's a new Yorker and he was a, 27 years in YPD. So he has, a different interpretation of it, but he would always say, if you act stupid, people will tell you everything. And it's so true. if you just sit back and you just pretend like you don't know what you're talking about, people will talk, people will tell you.
[01:08:39] People will offer up all sorts of information.
[01:08:41]so on that note, let me, let me ask a follow-up question, man. There's so many questions. I was looking at the time. Oh man. The ego wants to be the smart one. So how the, especially, someone who, you know, with your experience in life and then, with your reading, how do you just like tone down the ego and be the stupid one?
[01:09:04]So what I do man is,
[01:09:08]okay, so this is how well my belief is. if you and I mean to you and I literally CK, you and I walked into a space together, right? Let's say we met up and we walked into this space together. People are probably going to recognize me before they recognize for sure
[01:09:29] when you and I finally get past that person that recognizes and starts talking or whatever, once we move on and then you and I sit down and we have conversation. And I'm like, yo, this dude is deep. This dude has knowledge. This dude is, he spit knowledge like, man, I'm just listening to you.
[01:09:47]So the next time that you and I walk into another space and someone comes up to me and says, Oh, Jr. J R J. I'm like, Aw, man, let me introduce you to my friend. It's dude, this dude is dope. This dude. It says it he's fire with what he has to say too. And because. I have literally experienced that on so many occasions in my life where I'm not always the one that has all the knowledge, but I it's the perception is that I am the one that has all the knowledge because I've been on television.
[01:10:20] So for me, I believe that. One. Okay. So I believe one people admire somebody that is willing to say, Hey, I don't have all the answers, but I'm willing to partner up with somebody that does one. I believe people love that too. I remember my personal experience when I was in the army, when I was in Iraq.
[01:10:38] 19 years old, didn't understand a thing about war literally had no freaking clue what the hell war was about, the way to navigate through war and just how to handle situations. I had no situational awareness and none of that, I was 19. I just joined the military seven months before I was injured.
[01:11:01]and I could tell you that there was a Lieutenant. That was in our unit. And if anybody listening, watching, knows the ranking system within the military, we were infantry unit front lines combat, and we had this dude roll up or he, and he was. Just got his, he was an officer just got his bar and he shows up and he's kinda throwing rank around a little bit.
[01:11:24]A little cocky, and everyone rolls her eyes when he comes to his face. Cause he always feels like he has to puff up his chest because he needs validation. He needs that. So exactly. And one day say he overheard me tell one of my guys, one of our guys in the unit.
[01:11:41] Because I witnessed that he had a tattoo on his chest, that one of the guys in a uni had a tattoo of the unit logo on his chest. And I asked him, why did he have, why did he have that tattoo on his chest? And he said, cause I love this. This is a brotherhood. And my response to him was, no, it's not. I don't believe anybody cares.
[01:11:57] That's what I said. My Lieutenant overheard me. He took me outside in the middle of the desert and he literally smoked me, which means he made me do every exercise he can possibly think of. While he gave me this lecture on this as a brotherhood. I then at the end was like, I got it, sir. My bad, my apologies.
[01:12:16]guess what? The day that I was injured, it was because of him because my sergeants said we should go down this road. He came in and threw rank and said, no, I outrank you. This is the road we're going to go on. I get injured. then I. I then, I'm injured, I'm in the hospital, I'm recovering.
[01:12:39] And, and I got maybe two letters from him within the first, like two months after that. I never heard from him again. So I took that incredibly personal and a sense of wait a minute. This dude literally smoked me in the middle of the desert telling me that we're a brotherhood. We always got each other's back.
[01:13:01] It's not just here, but it's forever and always like vows. And yet he's the first one to dip. He's the first one to just bails on this responsibility. So he's a leader throwing his rank around, telling everybody that we should listen to what he's saying, but yet he's not going to act it out.
[01:13:20] So for me, I had to get over that. I had to like work through that, man, because I developed a lot of resentment and anger towards him and everybody else that told me that's the way it is now. It does exist. It does. It's a real thing that camaraderie, but it didn't exist for me. I found my community. I found my camaraderie and people that were recovering from an injury.
[01:13:40] That's the people that I can connect with and relate to, because we had been through more together than what I had gone through with these guys. But I then had to realize, and I CA I came to this place of being able to forgive him. I never told him this to him because I never spoke to him. I haven't spoken to him, but I forgive him in my heart because I realized at the end of the day that he probably never followed up because he probably feels guilty.
[01:14:06] He probably has the guilty. Probably doesn't know what to say. So he probably feels it's best to remove himself from the scenario. Not realizing by removing yourself and not leaning in and taking ownership and saying, man, I'm sorry, but I got your back. What can I do to support you? So for me, that experience fuels me it in this element of Jr.
[01:14:32] You got to sit back and you got to be willing to listen. You gotta be willing to put yourself in a position to say, Hey man, I don't have it all figured out, but I'm willing to sit down and talk to the people that do. I'm willing to sit here and act on everything that I feel like I would love to be done.
[01:14:52] And honestly, CK that's where it stems from, man. It just literally stems from this place of, I remember the feeling and I didn't like the feeling when it happened to me. So why the hell would I do this same thing to somebody else? Why. And at a certain point, don't give me the shit that no, I can't change.
[01:15:11] I'm too old to change. Or my environment doesn't enable me to change. guess what? You need to change your environment because if you know the feeling, if you recall how it felt to you when it was done to you, why would you continue to do it to somebody else? And if you're saying that your environment doesn't support your change, then you need to change your environment.
[01:15:33] Yeah. Oh man, so many questions. so you're a really interesting guy. I love to talk to you longer, but I'm also watching the time as well. and there was this, and I wish I can remember, it's this philosopher that had this, he was a socialist, sorry. and he had this sane. And the whole principle of it was. For you to be able to remove yourself and step back and to be able to see the world from everybody else's perspective.
[01:16:02] So for me, I am constantly removing myself from my belief and my view, and essentially seen situations from other people's angle. Okay. How does she feel about this? How does he feel about this? How do they feel about this? I'm constantly trying to put myself in other people's spaces to understand.
[01:16:23] How they feel about the same thing that I feel something about. And when I, what I feel by doing that exercise, it enables me, it empowers me to continue to feel connected to people. It enables me to be able to have a better understanding of people to learn what to, and not to do. It enables me to, I believe be a better leader to be a better listener, to continue to evolve, to continue to grow.
[01:16:53]and I think that's the biggest, that's the biggest challenge for so many of us is that we have this perception that we have to be the person and the individual, like you said earlier, that knows it all and offer up everything. And, there's this, a lot of people can be, correct.
[01:17:10] Tricked into believing that they have all of the answers when the reality is, yeah,
[01:17:17]all they're doing literally is they're charismatic and they have a personality and they're, it's just a coverup. They don't know they're insecure. So don't be that person be the person that is willing to actually remain quiet in the space. And. And just listen to everybody that is actually speaking, like that's, I can't emphasize that enough, man.
[01:17:42] Like it's such a it's in my mind is sitting here racing. Cause I'm like, God, what was it? Damn theory that it was I'll put it in show. When you think about it. I remember it. Sociological imagination. and it literally is the ability to see things socially and how it influences, other people.
[01:18:13] That's what it is. And so for me, when I read this, I was like, ah, yeah, to get outside of how things feel to you. And again, put yourself in someone else's position and how it influences and affects them. And I think that's something that a lot of us need to do. when you think about 2020, and yeah, COVID, that was challenging.
[01:18:32] But talk about the social unrest. When we talk about being able to understand a marginalized group of people, whether it be black people, whether it be Brown people, whether it be, people from other parts of the world, whether it be women, I mean in order to be able to understand those individuals, I think the ability to be able to remove yourself from your own thoughts and feelings, and to then literally put yourself in their position, to be able to understand the world and how it affects them and influences them that you're able to build compassion and empathy.
[01:19:06] So when they cry out and they say, these are the injustices that we are experienced in, you're like, I don't need you to prove it to me. I don't need you to prove to me that this happens. I got it. And so how can I help you? How can I be an ally? How can I be a human being that shows up and actually says, I love you.
[01:19:27] I'm sorry that you've experienced this. I know that it probably isn't directly me that has done this, but I know that there is probably certain systems and things in place that affect you. I want to be a part of the solution. So take sociological imagination approach to it. And just see things from other people's perspective, not your own when you're really, I love one of the things I miss about traveling is I used to always love when I was on a plane and I traveled a lot.
[01:19:58] I would sit on the plane and I would literally just sit here and think about literally in a tube flying in the sky. In a matter of few hours, I'll be on another, the other side of the state, the country, maybe the world. And when I look out the window, when we are about to land, I see all of the world happening below me.
[01:20:25] I see cars in the lower you get, depending on where you are, people. And I think about the person in that car where they're going. Where they're coming from, which has happened in their life or what's happening in their life. I do this so often, man. And I believe that is what allows me to be this storyteller that you talk about is because I'm constantly looking at things from other people's perspective.
[01:20:57] I'm constantly trying to challenge myself to understand other people's pain. Other people struggle, other people's needs. And it forces me to understand in the, in scheme of this whole thing, we call life. Like I am this big. I am this freaking big. But yet my perception, if I allow myself to let what CK shares with me and everybody else shares with me is that I can easily start thinking to myself, I'm this freaking big.
[01:21:31] I'm probably the whole thing. I'm the best thing. Nah, man, there's a whole world out there that keeps this thing flowing. I'm just lucky to be a part of it. I'm lucky to be a part of that contributes to it. And I hopefully, and the only way that I go from being this much of it. To this much of it to this much of it, to this much of it is by the way, I influence you, by the way I influence other people.
[01:21:58] And it just continues this chain effect to influence and impact other people in the positive way.
[01:22:04]You mind if I ask just one more question and then we'll wrap course, of course, man, like I said, I could talk to you for hours. so guys who was watching J R obviously has a strong personality, right? Great storyteller, right? Open mind, open heart, open hand, and also a strong spine. Obviously. It's the way anyone that's watching.
[01:22:26] And at the same time, he shows his willingness to be in flow, To allow for the miraculous to happen. I, Hey, I was in the army. I got burned. Now I'm open to being on green as a, as an actor, as a speaker winning, dancing with the stars in a podcast. I was like, I was, I could see that his life and his career.
[01:22:50]so here's the, so that's the context. So here's the question, Jr. Okay. How do you, and then that beautiful story you just share, like how, but how do you navigate right. Being a strong personality and at the same time being in flow and being the unknown, because your answer, I believe is going to impact the younger Jr.
[01:23:14] Who may want. To be on screen, be a speaker, be a podcast, host being influential, hang on at the white house, correspondence dinner, hanging out with Dave Chappelle, That's celebrity like that. Desire's there. And just like, why can't I have it now? So share with us how you navigate the desire, the intention, and.
[01:23:38] The flow and the surrender. So I can tell you that when I was a young 22, 23, 24 year old, I wanted to be this big speaker. I wanted to be the guy. I felt like I had so much to say I had a story. I knew how to tell it. I wanted every opportunity. I wanted all the big companies to call me. I went it all the big schools they call me and I constantly felt rejection.
[01:24:04]it, I did it on a small scale, but I didn't do it on the stage that I wanted to do it. I desire to be on. And that was challenging. And I could tell you that years later, and I would say probably like 32 33 I'm 37 now. So 32, 33 years old. I'm in therapy again. And I'm doing therapy because I'm dealing now with something completely different than I had to go to there before the first couple times around.
[01:24:36] And I'm in therapy and I, and one day I remember leaving and I went to a park and I sat in the park and I just started thinking about my session and I thought about, wow. Mighty young self wanted all. I wanted all the smoke, man. I wanted all the glory, but if I'm going to be honest, I was already, I really, truly, I was not ready.
[01:25:09] Had those opportunities presented themselves. I probably would have screwed it up. Which would have been worse than the rejection. I felt from people telling me, no, we're not going to invite you to come and speak. No, we're not going to give you an opportunity. It would have been worse for me to actually show up and deliver and not be able to deliver and hear that.
[01:25:35] And then what would have happened, how was already in, my foundation was not solid. What would have happened then? maybe then I, maybe what I have ran away from it all. What I have continued drinking and being reckless and angry would I have considered taking my life,
[01:25:59] man? I guess this whole trust thing is a real thing because the minute that I finally started to work on me, And I say this at 24 years old, my best friend pulled me aside and he told me I needed to learn how to cry. And he told me that I needed to let myself cry and that I needed to be vulnerable. And it was okay to be that way.
[01:26:21] The minute I enabled myself to do that, man, then the opportunities came the more work I w I did internally. When I finally got to the stage of all my children and dancing with the stars, I was ready. I was actually ready. So two days the young Jr's out there right now, watching and listening, I say to you, if it, I know we all have these big goals for ourselves and that's great, but I invite you to do that in this moment when you're not on that stage yet.
[01:27:00] Do the work on your craft, work on you understand why trust that the universe, that life, destiny, God, whatever you believe in has a plan for you because there is one and your job is to continue to show up in whatever space you find yourself in. Show up. If you don't show up, then you're not allowing yourself to learn and evolve and to grow.
[01:27:37] So when that big moment comes and it doesn't matriculate in from five minutes of fame to seven minutes to 15 minutes to one hour to 10 hours, and you're mad, you only have one person to blame and that's you that's yourself. I had to learn. And that's why now, man, when my career suddenly drops down and slows down, I don't panic anymore.
[01:28:01] Cause I'm like, that's a blessing. That is a blessing because I probably wouldn't have stopped on my own. So the world is saying, the universe is saying, here's your pause? Slow it down. And then it's my job to show up in that moment of quietness of stillness. It's the same principle man. I was introduced to this class at my local gym.
[01:28:26] It's called yin yoga and I never heard of it before. And the whole idea is, and I think, you know what? This is, the whole idea is you roll up, you get in class. And the instructor says, okay, who are my first timers? I raised my hand. My wife had already taken the class. Okay. So this class we're going to do three to five poses, but what we're going to do is hold each pose from three to 10 minutes, it's going to be uncomfortable.
[01:29:00] You shouldn't feel pain, it's going to be uncomfortable, but what I asked you to do and how we're going to get through it is you're going to breathe. We're going to learn to sit in it. You're going to focus on your breath. And trust me, you will be able to get through it. I'm like I'm flexible. I could do this.
[01:29:21] We get into the first pose, all of a sudden 60 seconds go by 120 seconds go by 180 seconds, go by that's three minutes. I'm like, yo, what are we getting out of this pose? And literally I find myself breathing as if I was like, Giving birth.
[01:29:40]I am I'm over here making noises, like all the women in the class. Cause it's majority women they're laughing, because and they're breathing and they got this. You liked supposed to be this tough dude. I did it, man. I got through it. When I got through the 60 minutes of that class, I felt so good that I fiend for more of it to the point where it became a routine that every Tuesday and Thursday at 11:00 AM.
[01:30:06] I literally tried to schedule everything around 11 to 12 because I needed to be there for you in yoga. that's applies to life that when. You were in this dark space as this room, yoga is the dark room. Turn the lights out when you're in this dark room. And you're in something that is painful is discomforting.
[01:30:29] And you can't see the finish line. When class is over, you got to sit in it. You got to breathe through it. If you don't, if you're not willing to do that, then don't expect the glory and all the smoke that come your way. It won't come because it, why do you deserve the reward? you haven't made it.
[01:30:48] You haven't paid the price yet. So I'm constantly doing that. I'm constantly reminded my young self, just trust Jr. Trust. It'll come, continue to work on what it is, why you do what you do. Why do you want to even do it? Continue to be better. Evolve, grow, listen, pay attention. Network connect with people like you, I'm talking to you right now, man.
[01:31:18] But like literally when our first call, when we were talking about setting this whole thing up, I was like, yo, I like this dudes vibe. I liked this dude's energy. This dude has a lot to say. And the way that you deliver it as just captivates people and makes you just pay attention, you've got the voice, you've got the knowledge, I'm preparing in this moment right now, as we close out this year, I'm preparing in this moment of stillness and quietness of silence that when the world picks back up, man, and I finally get back in front of people.
[01:31:48] I'm going to have a lot more to say, because I'm an understand it better. I especially like that breath that you just takes. I have a lot to say now,
[01:31:58]Hey, Jr. like I was telling you, I definitely want to do a part two part three with you at some point, loved our conversation. Just take a moment to really acknowledge you.
[01:32:08] I really appreciate you just how you show up in life in general, but this conversation specifically, you'll willing to share your self, owning everything that you are as a imperfectly. Perfect human being. distill your lessons and share generously with my audience about overcoming adversity, about, communication and about, patients, right?
[01:32:37] Both the open mind, open heart, open Palm and strong spine, and the willingness to be in surrender and flow and being stillness. So just thank you so much.
[01:32:52]can I share one last thing? Yeah, please.
[01:33:00] I was traveling a couple years ago. I went to this event for Delta airlines. I, and that was, it was, I was so happy to do this event because I travel on Delta. and I love the airline. And so the opportunity to go to Atlanta and be at the Delta headquarters and speak to the employees, like it was like, Oh man.
[01:33:21] And when I got off of the stage, I got all this immediate feedback, this immediate validation that what I was there to do, and people felt something I get on the plane. I'm flying home and all of a sudden, like my mind just goes somewhere else, man. My mind is influenced by I don't, God knows. I don't remember what it was and I'm going to plan it now suddenly by the time I get off of the plane, I'm going home to my wife and my daughter, my beautiful wife, my beautiful daughter.
[01:33:52] And suddenly my energy is different, man. I'm like, Oh, two hours ago, before I jumped on his plane, I had this incredible feeling. Now I had this high and now I'm getting off of this flight and I'm like, what happened? And I couldn't get myself out of it. I go to my car, I get in the car, I go to exit the airport, you got to go pay.
[01:34:10] And so I roll up and, the lady takes my ticket as I handed to her old older lady. literally, like the late seventies and she takes the ticket and she has like wrinkles all over her face and her hands. There's a lot of life in that body. you could just tell and that'll mean that because of a, they're like, they're, you could tell that she's lived a lot.
[01:34:31] She's experienced a lot. There's she takes the ticket. She S she sees my hand and my hand is burned. There's graphs on it. She says, what happened to you? I tell her this is what happened to me. She says, I'm sorry. She then asked me, can I pray for you? I was like, yeah, sure. She literally holds my hand and closes her eyes.
[01:35:04] And I was like, I guess I should close my eyes too. We're praying. I guess I should close my eyes too. So I closed my eyes. I'm sitting there. She doesn't pray out loud. She praise, within herself. She then hands me a ticket, another ticket. At the same ticket that I gave her another ticket and she writes a Mito Toba, and she, an NCA eats it.
[01:35:25] And she says, what this means this is a, she said, this is a, a Buddhist and it represents light. It represents wisdom. And you are a Mito bar. You have the slight, and you have this wisdom about you. And sh and I feel that in your, she goes on and on and giving me this whole thing, literally this car is behind is come on, hurry up.
[01:35:50]what's taking so long and she's telling me this whole thing, literally giving me like this incredible information. And then she hands me the ticket that says, I meet Obama on it. And by the time that little arm goes up, where you can exit. I drive off and I call my wife and I was like, babe, I meet though mom.
[01:36:05] And she's wait, what are you talking about? I was like, babe, this lady gave me this, his gift. And it was like this beautiful thing. When you said right now, and what caused me to say, I want to share this quick story with you is because you kept talking about open heart, open mind, open Palm. I live my life that way, because if you think about that story, I had an opportunity when she asked me what happened to me to not engage, to not be open to that dialogue.
[01:36:32] When she asked me if she could pray for me, I had an opportunity to not be open to that prayer. When she asked me, w here's this thing I want to give to you this, meet though by this saying, I had an opportunity in that moment, not to necessarily engage in that, but I allowed myself. I allow myself.
[01:36:48] Still today and always to remain open to the possibility into what they life will share with me and the guides that come I'm into my life. That is what life is to me. I meet them by my friends, be the light, be the wisdom, but as CK said, always be open. Always be receptive because your guys are in front of you.
[01:37:13] Pay attention.