CK LIN 0:00
Hi everyone, this is CK Welcome back to part 4 of the [From the Adversity to Opportunity] series. Yesterday we talked about the importance of having rituals at an uncertain time, and how that impacts your sense of certainty you have. If you haven’t heard it, I highly recommend you go check it out.
Today I want to talk to you about the importance of having empathy and compassion. First and foremost for yourself, first and foremost for yourself.
It’s very human, to go through a rollercoaster ride of emotions during this uncertain time.
At the lowest point, you may feel insecure, anxious, worried, concerned, overwhelmed. At the highest point you may feel confident, optimistic, amused, proud or excited. And the roller coaster ride is faster now more than ever for everyone. You may also notice you Your internal critic being louder, I’m not doing enough, I’m doing too much. And it’s important to not make yourself wrong. Having all these emotions, all these moments of self reflection, because the more you suppress, deny judge ignore these emotions, the longer you’re actually impacted by them. emotion is energy in motion, they ultimately pass.
The visualization to help me the most is to imagine that we are all immersed in the ocean, and the emotions are the wave and the wavelets of the ocean coming our way. The simplest thing that we could do is to let these wavelets let these waves pass over us.
The more we try to resist, the more we try to avoid the more we try to suppress these waves the more we’ll find the effort exhausting and counterproductive.
So speaking of that, think of your PRESENT self. How would you treat your YOUNGER self now? Think about as you are right now knowing everything that you know, how would you treat your younger self? Probably with more empathy and compassion, right?
A quick mental model to use when you notice your internal judgmental voice. You’re too emotional. You’re not emotional enough. You’re leading too much. You’re not leading enough. You’re too decisive. You’re not decisive enough. You help too much. Or you don’t help enough. Perhaps use your future 60-year-old self voice, how would your future self treat your present self? That’s a quick mental hack.
Know that. All of it you experienced right now. It’s all a part of you, all of your basic survival instincts, all of your highest conscious aspirations, all of it, the whole range is all a part of you.
Before you take care of everyone else, have more empathy and more compassion for yourself. such that when you do serve, you come from a place of fullness. You come from a place of being complete.
I was speaking to an entrepreneurial friend earlier, and he told me that in his business, everything has stopped. His salespeople aren’t selling because everyone’s working from home and everything is stopped, and he’s mad at his salespeople. And because they’re not working hard enough, from their home and their work from home policies lowers the overall productivity.
What he didn’t understand is When he didn’t allow himself to feel because he wanted to put out all the fires now, which I completely understand. At the same time, all of that suppressed emotions turn into resentment and projects onto his employees. And ultimately, I don’t believe that being this way serves anyone. And ultimately, his way of being and his resentment hidden from his view is putting his business at risk.
So my point of view is this when you don’t have compassion for yourself, you would then project all of the judgments towards people around you.
Just like how the airlines tell us to put on the oxygen mask on ourselves first before we put on the oxygen mask on others. When we are not physically mentally putting out the fires When we do have a little bit time to breathe, I want you to go to a room and take a moment, and just be with all of the internal voice, all of the internal judgments, all of the hidden emotions that you’ve been suppressing throughout the day. And this experience may not be pleasant, but stay with it as much as you can. And actively give yourself the grace, the space, the patience, the compassion, that your FUTURE self would. And just to be with all of it right now. That way, you have at least a chance to decompress all of this that you’ve been hidden, suppress, ignoring, deny, in your daytime. You can actually just be with it.
The thing about all of this is that you don’t have to be public about what you’re dealing with. Whether it be the highest of highs or the lowest of lows, you don’t have to be public about them. But just accept them as they are. Because all of it, all of everything that you experience is a part of you.
Imagine yourself to be in the middle of the ocean. And the waves are energies emotion, right? They’re coming your way. You see them coming.
1)You can either resist or denying them, which is from my point of view, counterproductive and exhausting, 2)or you can allow them to pass over you.
3) Or when you’re an advanced surfer. You can actually transmute all that energy to serve the wave and let your emotions fuel you into action.
If you can’t let this fuel you just yet, what you can do is to have all the love and compassion for your own humanity: for the critic for the cynic for the survivalist in you. AND when you are at the highest highs have all the love and all the humanity for your highest self: for the parents in you, for the entrepreneur in you, and for the community leader in you, and have all the love and compassion for all aspects of you.
From my point of view, this is the most natural, most organic, most productive way to deal with all of these emotions, which inevitably shows up during an uncertain time. And when you’re at a good place, you can then serve those who depend on you from a place of fullness and then from a place of being complete. Right.
Judging is really easy at this point. Judging yourself. First and foremost. It’s really easy right now. And generating more patience, generating more empathy, generating more compassion for all aspects of you requires more work. When you have grace and patience for yourself, then we can move on to holding space for everyone else. Right? And that would be the topic that we cover tomorrow.
So take a deep breath, you’re doing great, you’re doing fine. Have more empathy, have more compassion.
Alright, my friends, the intention of this series is to empower you to be healthier, happier and stronger during this uncertain time. So go on, try this. On the moment you notice you start judging yourself, you start to be impatient with yourself or you start to have negative self talk about yourself. That’s the time when you can actually bring more love and compassion and patience to yourself.
All right, my friends, go on and try and let me know how this goes for you. Until then stay safe. Stay positive. I’ll talk to you soon tomorrow. Take care.